Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Rehearsal Dinner- Who To Invite?

Originally we were only going to invite our parents and the wedding party to the rehearsal dinner since they would be the only ones at the rehearsal itself.  That is what I thought was "the norm" and I wasn't at all bothered when I was not invited to a rehearsal dinner for a wedding my FI (and not myself) was involved in last year.  However, my MOH is traveling a few hundred miles from here with her fiance.  Should he be invited since he's coming from out of town?  I'm not sure how my MOH would feel about having to "ditch" him for majority of the day.  But if I invite him, does that mean all SOs of the wedding party would need to be invited?  That would only add around 2-3 people but since my FI's family is paying for it (and I know they're in a very tough spot financially) I'd feel awkward asking them if that's okay.  I wish I could offer to pay for the extra few people myself, and I suppose I can if there's not another option, but we're barely able to stay within out budget as-is, due to a few unexpected emergencies that happened after contracts were already signed.  Thanks in advance for any input :)

Re: Rehearsal Dinner- Who To Invite?

  • Options
    Okay thanks! I'd like to invite them so if that's the right etiquette, I shouldn't feel too bad mentioning that to the ILs. Worst case, we can offer to pay for the SOs.
  • Options
    NymeruNymeru member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Definitely invite the SOs.  Even if they're not offended about not being invited, chances are your bridal party will not take it very well. 

    I know a few of the SOs of our bridal party are opting out of the dinner, which is totally fine.  We're actually ditching the idea of a restaurant dinner for everyone and holding a bbq instead (hosted by my in-laws) because this way we can include all of the out of town family that will be here.  Personally, I was looking forward to a more intimate dinner with just parents and bridal party with SOs, but it's important to both sets of parents, so we're doing it their way.  I don't mind it, and the cost of the bbq to feed 50+ people is actually less than it was going to be to feed just 16 of us at the restaurant, so we're keeping to the budget better this way.  I suppose it's a win-win when you look at it that way.  Happy family, smaller cost.
  • Options
    JBee85JBee85 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    ANYONE involved in the rehearsal should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. This includes BM/GM SOs and the person conducting the ceremony (priest, minister, rabbi, etc.)
  • Options
    I see that the OP got some great advice and is taking it, but this is for the lurkers:  As someone who has been excluded from a local rehearsal dinner when my fiance was the best man in a wedding, PLEASE include the SOs!!!    You can read the whole story on the worst weddings thread, but yeah, that was just the start of a terrible wedding weekend.  It took me years to get over how hurt I was by their actions. 

    I personally would rather have a rehearsal dinner with just the bridal party/SOs and the parents and grandparents (I loathe being the center of attention), but my in-laws are coming from several states away and want their family members included if they are going to be in town by then.  They are paying for it, so we're hosting 50 people for the rehearsal dinner.  Originally we were looking at a nicer restaurant, but now we might move the whole thing to a private room at a pub. :-) 
  • Options
    JBee85JBee85 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited June 2014

    I see that the OP got some great advice and is taking it, but this is for the lurkers:  As someone who has been excluded from a local rehearsal dinner when my fiance was the best man in a wedding, PLEASE include the SOs!!!    You can read the whole story on the worst weddings thread, but yeah, that was just the start of a terrible wedding weekend.  It took me years to get over how hurt I was by their actions. 

    Do you mind posting the link?
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards