Children of Wedding Party Questions

Re: Children of Wedding Party Questions

• JCbride2015 member

  

  June 2014 edited June 2014

  Jeannine12 said:

  So I have my Bridesmaid all picked out and am planning on asking each of them in the coming weeks.  I am still torn on my 3 cousins that are my Uncle's children.  The youngest one is 5 and will be 6 by the time we get married and I would love to have her as my flower girl.  Now figuring out what the other ones can do is where I am getting confused.  The oldest daughter is turning 16 and will be 17 at the wedding is she to old for a junior bridesmaid or should i just make her a regular bridesmaid.  And I am ok with either and that means my Fiance will then be excited to add one more guy.  

  
  

  The middle child my Uncle has is a 10 year old boy and I am not sure what he can do.  I dont want to have the girls in it and him feel left out but I also would like to ask him to be in the wedding but would liek to tell him what he is doing when I ask him (actually first asking their parents first).

  
  

  Any ideas?  Thank you

  Junior Bridesmaid is not really a thing.  It's sort of demeaning for the teenager if you call them that.  My cousin will be 15 at the time of the wedding, and she is just a BM like everyone else.

  
  

  You don't have to include all of these children in your wedding.  You can have just the youngest as FG, and not give a role to the two older ones.  You can have the girls but not the boy.  If you really want to give the boy a role, GM and usher are the only two that are actually an honor.  Don't make something up like carrying a sign down the aisle, or handing out programs, etc.  

  
  

  ETA: being a reader is an honor, too, but at 10 he might be too young for that.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• tammym1001 member

  

  June 2014

  I think at 10 he could be responsible enough to be an usher. If you add the 17 year old as a bridesmaid (I wouldn't make her a junior bridesmaid) and your FI needs to add someone then he could make the 10 year old a groomsmen. 

  
  

  Sides don't have to be even, but it sounds like you're concerned about that. If FI has someone else in mind you could still add the 10 year old as a groomsmen and have uneven sides. 

  
  

  FWIW, I had 4 BM's and DH only had one GM. Two of my BM's were teenagers.

  
  

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• Jeannine12 member

  

  June 2014

  I am not worried about the numbers beign uneven but my FI will add like 10 people if I let him go wild.

  
  

  But the feedback you both gave me is perfect...I was going with the 17 year old being a BM just wanted to see other opinions that didnt know me...lol  And with my 10 year old cousin I don't think he will be phased by any of it really but I think having him as an usher is perfect idea too.

  
  

  thank you

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• lilacck28 member

  

  June 2014 edited June 2014

  My brother was made an "usher" by a cousin during her wedding (I was a bridesmaid). Her reason was "I want to include you!" He was a young teenager. He dngaf one way or the other. But my parents did when he was clearly an after thought but they had to rent a tux for him. 

  
  

  ETA: I say this just as a precaution to including everyone because you want to be nice. If including someone means more money for parents when you really don't care that much about them being in the wedding, then think carefully about it, and perhaps ask the child's parent's preference first. If my parents had been asked, they would have said "no, he does not care about being an usher. Don't feel like you need to do that. We'd rather not have to get him a tux anyway."

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• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2014

  You know?  Not every kid is going to feel "left out" if they are not asked to be in the wedding party.  You don't have to create a role for every one.  It's not a school play.

  
  

  That said, I'd just ask the 16 to 17 year old cousin to be a bridesmaid and the 12 year old boy to be a groomsman-no "junior."  Or they can be ushers or readers.

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• Jeannine12 member

  

  June 2014

  I was planning on speaking with my Uncle and Aunt before bringing it up to the kids because as you say the money thing.  But I do care they are my only cousins and I am very close them and would like them to be part of my day in some way or another.  Thank you again for your opinions

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• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2014

  Just by being in attendance they will be part of your day.

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