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Parent Gifts ... HELP.

thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I am at a total loss for what to get my parents and FILs. 

- Both sets have made generous financial contributions to the wedding
- My parents are EXTREMELY practical. I can just see the eye roll they'd exchange if I got them anything remotely sentimental. No pictures, frames with cute quotes, jewelry, etc. They would find all of this useless and stupid (and would have zero problem telling me so later).
- It seems weird to give them any kind of gift certificate since it's basically just cash, and that seems so insufficient in light of how much cash they've spent on our wedding. 

I want it to be something with obvious thought put into it. Budget would be about $100 for each set of parents. 

Help? 
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Re: Parent Gifts ... HELP.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    We didn't get our parents anything.  We gave them huge hugs and thanked them a lot for everything they did.  So, yeah, not much help, but I was never one to really understand the whole "parents gift" thing.

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    My daughter gave me a hug, and said "Thank you, Mom!  It was perfect!"  That is the absolute best gift ever!  Oh, yeah, they gave me a box of See's truffles, too!  We paid for the wedding, except for favors and STDs.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I would just not get them anything but a card and a hug, but I know FIL's would be bummed. At FI's cousin's wedding, a big thing was made of parents gifts, so it's definitely expected in his family. And I obviously can't give something to them and not my parents, especially since my parents' gave us quite a bit of money.
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't get the point in thanking people for financial contributions with something that costs you a lot of money. They're essentially paying for their own gift. This is why people steer toward sentimental gifts. :-/
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  • thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    lolo883 said:
    I don't get the point in thanking people for financial contributions with something that costs you a lot of money. They're essentially paying for their own gift. This is why people steer toward sentimental gifts. :-/
    Right ... it doesn't need to cost a lot of money, because I agree, it's backwards and weird to more or less pay for your own gift. And FIL's are sweet and sentimental and would probably be thrilled with a "Thank you for raising the man of my dreams" pendant or something, but that stuff would make my parents wanna gag. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    thelastdreamer said:
    I would just not get them anything but a card and a hug, but I know FIL's would be bummed. At FI's cousin's wedding, a big thing was made of parents gifts, so it's definitely expected in his family. And I obviously can't give something to them and not my parents, especially since my parents' gave us quite a bit of money.
    Sorry but gifts should never be expected and if your FI's parents are going to be bummed because they didn't get a gift then I think they need to grow up.  They are not 5 and it is not their birthday party.

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  • thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited June 2014
    Maggie0829 said:
    thelastdreamer said:
    I would just not get them anything but a card and a hug, but I know FIL's would be bummed. At FI's cousin's wedding, a big thing was made of parents gifts, so it's definitely expected in his family. And I obviously can't give something to them and not my parents, especially since my parents' gave us quite a bit of money.
    Sorry but gifts should never be expected and if your FI's parents are going to be bummed because they didn't get a gift then I think they need to grow up.  They are not 5 and it is not their birthday party.
    Oh they would never show they were bummed or anything like that. They're wonderful and generous and sweet and would never cop an attitude about not getting a present. Maybe bummed is the wrong word. I just want to get them something because I would feel sad not getting them something when all their brothers and sisters have gotten wedding gifts from their children. 
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    thelastdreamer said:
    lolo883 said:
    I don't get the point in thanking people for financial contributions with something that costs you a lot of money. They're essentially paying for their own gift. This is why people steer toward sentimental gifts. :-/
    Right ... it doesn't need to cost a lot of money, because I agree, it's backwards and weird to more or less pay for your own gift. And FIL's are sweet and sentimental and would probably be thrilled with a "Thank you for raising the man of my dreams" pendant or something, but that stuff would make my parents wanna gag. 
    Well you don't have to give them the same gift. Give FILs the sentimental stuff and give your parents an IOU for a nice dinner. But if they're the type to compare, just don't make a big fuss around them opening them.
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Why don't you offer to take your parents to dinner, or even have them over to make them a nice dinner, or send them out to dinner at one of their favorite restaurants.... meanwhile, talk with your FI about the type of gift his parents would appreciate. Whatever you decide, present these gifts in private to each set of parents. That way, there's no comparing the gifts but you guys still feel that you've done something to honor the people who've contributed significantly to your wedding.
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  • thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    To the two PPs, love the idea of having them over or going out with them for a nice dinner, but we live 12 hours away from them so this is not feasible. I might just break down and go the restaraunt gift card route, even though it seems so weird to give money as a thank you for money.
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    FFIL is getting a really nice knife and his hotel room paid for. My mom is getting a bluetooth keyboard and cushioned case for her tablet (both of which she asked me to find for her on Amazon so she could buy them, so stuff she wanted and needed). Very much practical, not overly expensive, but definitely things that will be appreciated.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    A heartfelt thank you note is probably the absolute best gift. Or maybe flowers or a edible arragement mailed the morning after the wedding?
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  • MamaAlly89MamaAlly89 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    I don't really under stand parent gifts either. We are getting the family pictures from our wedding framed for our parents along with a nice thank you note. Nothing extravagant, but I know it will mean a lot to them.

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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My parents are very practical too.....they don't want any more "stuff".  I usually get them gift cards to their favorite restaurants for gifts.  They love to go out to eat so I know it's something that is used and appreciated.
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    thelastdreamer said:
    To the two PPs, love the idea of having them over or going out with them for a nice dinner, but we live 12 hours away from them so this is not feasible. I might just break down and go the restaraunt gift card route, even though it seems so weird to give money as a thank you for money.

    ***SITB***

    Think of it this way: you're actually doing what Honeyfund purports to do; you're gifting them a voucher for an experience as opposed to giving them straight cash. You can take this a step further and really personalize it: rack your brain (or discreetly find out) a special spot for your parents like the restaurant they celebrated a special anniversary at or something. Get them a gift card there, and include a heart-felt note about how you want to thank them by contributing to their ever-lasting love, just like they've done for you on your wedding day. They may be practical, but that doesn't mean that aren't sentimental, right?
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    You could even send something from Omaha Steaks or the like, so you're buying them an actual meal. My sister has sent some from my dad a few times (the man who has everything) and he loved it. 
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'm in the heartfelt thank you letter and framed picture of the wedding camp.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You better believe that thank you note is in a special place, and if my house was on fire, I would grab that, along with her baby pictures and the cat!  Gift not needed!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • l9il9i member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    Both of our parents have anniversaries in the week following our wedding so we got them somthing they could use to also celebrate their own marriage and it will be given with a big hug and gracious thank you.  I mentioned something to my mom about thinking of a gift for them and she was shocked she was getting a gift but we wanted to surprise them with something.  My parents are very into wine so we got them a very nice bottle of wine and his parents are into camping so we got them a weekend at a state park for fishing.  I know both will enjoy and we spent about $100 total. 

    I don't really feel like they are paying for their gift in this situation.  FI and I contributed a great deal to the wedding so it really a gift from us.

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  • Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I totally feel you - I'm at such a loss as to what to give our parents.  What do you give the people who made you, raised you, taught you everything, and then generously contributed to your wedding??  As for myself, I'll be writing a letter to my parents (and probably FIs parents too) thanking them, and will give it to them at the rehearsal dinner.  
    I think FI and I are getting both sets of parents a nice photo album from our wedding as well.  At least, that's the plan right now... 
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited June 2014
    Neither of our parents contributed to our wedding, but we still bought them gifts anyways. We got them nice engraved photo albums that hold 100 4"x6" pictures. We told them we would fill them with wedding pictures for them once we got them back. They loved them. I know you say your parents aren't sentimental at all, but I can't imagine a parent who wants absolutely no pictures at all of their child's wedding. 

    ETA: we also included heart felt thank you notes.
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm no help here. I told my mom (who I won't let pay for anything, she's already given me too much!) that we were buying her plane tickets and she asked me if I was stupid. Haha!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My sister gave out her gifts after the wedding so there was no comparison possible.  My mom got a simple gold necklace with a knot pendant.  No idea what my dad or the groom's parents got.  My FH and I got a gift card to a B&B (I was the officiant, my FH pushed Play on the iPod for the processional).  I'm fairly certain she got a gift for her friend who was her impromptu videographer because I saw a, "wow, you shouldn't have, you're amazing, we had so much fun" post on facebook the same week I got my giftcard in the mail, but I have no idea what type of gift it was.  Keep whatever you do on the down low and you won't have to worry about them comparing and can get them what they'll really like.
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