Alcohol at reception?

katiereith · July 2012

My FI and I are a bit torn on whether or not to even bring this up to my parents since they are footing the bill. Neither one of us even wants alcohol at the reception but my parents are very set on it. I appreciate them paying for everything, but if both of us are uncomfortable with alcohol being present at the reception do we bring it up to the people paying for it?

cnf2013 · July 2012

Maybe you can compromise and just do a champgne toast or a single bottle of wine per table for dinner then nothing else. Since they're footing the bill, they do get some say. But if you're both uncomfortable with it I would definitely bring it up. Hopefully they'll either concede or you guys can find a compromise everyone is happy with.

We're having alcohol at our reception. Our venue includes premium liquor open bar in every package. Plus, we like to party, so we're definitely excited for open bar. And if you didn't know, I'm a prevention educator for an alcoholism and addictions council. And we're still hosting booze, by choice. But for my own piece of mind we're having a hotel reception so no one has to drive. That was my conflict of interest compromise, haha.

In the end, it's your wedding, so do what makes you happy.

katiereith · July 2012

Part of the thing with us too is that the alcohol will be the most expensive part. Since the reception is in their barn there isn't exactly a vendor list that comes with it. So even if they do push forward with an open bar we have to find a bartender willing to come out as far as my parents property.

cnf2013 · July 2012

You could do a self serve style of bar. Have some open bottles of wine or a keg or two. If they want liquor, do a few big batches of two or three different premixed drinks and put them in 3 gallon dispensers with cups. Just have someone willing to refill things as needed (your parents, since they're pushing for it). You could do a couple kegs/a case or two of wine/ a dozen gallons of mixed drinks for about $200 for each option. And if you just picked one it'd be really cheap, there would still be some alcohol, but once it's gone that's it and no need for a bartender.

Though I still say that if your both uncomfortable with alcohol definitely speak up. They do get some say, but if you're both uncomfortable than that's a bottom line and since it's your wedding hopefully they can respect that.

Good luck. Hope something I suggested can be of help to you!

ashlidie · July 2012

If you have a caterer, there is a strong possibility they will be able to bring a bartender. The two I was working with (one for the other venue I was considering and my current caterer) both had this option and it wasn't too much extra for the bartender services.

katiereith · July 2012

Our caterer is one of my moms friends. She is now retired from catering but she does about 3 weddings a year on the side just for the fun of it. While she has access to everything that most caterers do, she just doesn't have access to the bartender.

anastassiiat · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_alcohol-at-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:fe5d05db-99bc-41fc-90f1-b862a9f38959Post:7bdfd769-3b31-4a08-81de-e5017133d9d9">Re: Alcohol at reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Maybe you can compromise and just do a champgne toast or a single bottle of wine per table for dinner then nothing else. Since they're footing the bill, they do get some say. But if you're both uncomfortable with it I would definitely bring it up. Hopefully they'll either concede or you guys can find a compromise everyone is happy with.</strong> We're having alcohol at our reception. Our venue includes premium liquor open bar in every package. Plus, we like to party, so we're definitely excited for open bar. And if you didn't know, I'm a prevention educator for an alcoholism and addictions council. And we're still hosting booze, by choice. But for my own piece of mind we're having a hotel reception so no one has to drive. That was my conflict of interest compromise, haha. In the end, it's your wedding, so do what makes you happy.
Posted by cnf2013[/QUOTE]

I agree with the bolded part. I think it's best just to have an open and honest conversation, and see if your parents would be OK with skipping alcohol altogether. And if not maybe you can compromise on something like cnf mentioned, that way it doesn't include the need for a bartender. The only issue that I can see with that, although I'm not totally sure, you might have to buy additional liability insurance if you are doing self serve alcohol, but I believe it depends on the state or even city.

belle7fl · July 2012

You should definitely talk to your parents about not wanting alcohol. Like PP's said maybe you can compromise and have a couple of bottles of wine on the tables instead of a bar. That way it's just enough so people don't get wasted but can have a drink if they want. Our venue package includes two bottles of wine on each table. There is a bar and I did decide to do an open bar for cocktail hour even though FI doesn't agree but I have never been to a weeding without an open bar and since I'm paying for most of it, I won. Since your parents are paying they do have a say but let them know how you feel and why. Maybe after they understand your reasoning behind it they'll change their mind.

Meghannsix · July 2012

I like the wine bottles on the table idea, or maybe some kind of punch? You could choose a flavor/color to match your wedding colors, and have it in large glass pitchers/containers, it could be kinda pretty, and serve as a "signature drink". But I agree with other PP's, talk to your parents about it. I realize it's not your thing, but will your guests expect some kind of alcoholic drink?

katiereith · July 2012

My side of the family will and my parents friends will, but my FI side of the family wont, and most of them wont even touch alcohol since alcoholism runs in the family. His grandmother on his fathers side may get downright offended if it is even present, which conflicts with my parents and their friends. Our friends won't care either way. We have more fun playing Munchkin and smoking a hookah pipe.

iloveu4ever · July 2012

Yeah compromise. Maybe just beer and wine.

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