Feeling weird about trying on dresses..

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

I know I sound silly, i'm just gonna get that out of the way first. I'm getting married May 2015, I plan to purchase my dress in November for a few different reasons. However, i'm really ALL of the place in what I want, so i'd like to get some ideas before going that day just to be prepared. My Mom asked me if i'd like to go try on dresses at the end of the week, and I do don't get me wrong. But I KNOW I have no intention of buying a dress that day, and I feel horrible wasting the time of the sales associate. It might be because I worked in retail for 7years, or i'm just overly sensitive. Please tell me i'm not the only one who felt this way?? I'm anxious about going because i'm so worried about letting someone down by not purchasing a dress.

lilacck28 · June 2014

I'm also getting married May 2015! I bought my dress a few weeks ago (I got sick of dress shopping and started getting confused with all of the dresses I liked... I wanted to purchase and be done!) I felt a little bad for the consultants each and every time I went shopping... ESPECIALLY when I found a dress I liked and kept shopping because I wanted to make sure. However, that's what their job is! The consultants know that you're going to try on lots of dresses before you decide what you like, or are close to buying a dress. So try to put that out of your mind.

AddieCake · June 2014

You're not wasting anyone's time. You need to try on dresses so you can find out what you like and what looks best on you. Just b/c you don't buy that day doesn't mean you won't be back.

doeydo · June 2014

I guess I don't understand the point of shopping if you have no intention of buying anything for months and months yet.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

doeydo said:

I guess I don't understand the point of shopping if you have no intention of buying anything for months and months yet.

This. If you don't want to seriously consider buying until November then I really don't see the point in trying on dresses now. And what happens if you do find "the dress" during your shopping trip next week? Are you really going to not buy it just because you want to wait until November?

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

Maggie0829 said:

doeydo said:

I guess I don't understand the point of shopping if you have no intention of buying anything for months and months yet.

This. If you don't want to seriously consider buying until November then I really don't see the point in trying on dresses now. And what happens if you do find "the dress" during your shopping trip next week? Are you really going to not buy it just because you want to wait until November?

Because I have NO idea what kind of dress I want yet. I don't know what's going to look good on me, etc. I only have ONE day in November when we can go dress shopping, and we have to get the bridesmaids dresses that day as well. So we're aren't exactly going to be able for me to spend hours upon hours trying to decide what styles, etc I want. I thought it was normal to try on multiple dresses, and go to multiple stores before deciding what you want.

AddieCake · June 2014

Alyssa18o6 said:

Maggie0829 said:

doeydo said:

I guess I don't understand the point of shopping if you have no intention of buying anything for months and months yet.

This. If you don't want to seriously consider buying until November then I really don't see the point in trying on dresses now. And what happens if you do find "the dress" during your shopping trip next week? Are you really going to not buy it just because you want to wait until November?

Because I have NO idea what kind of dress I want yet. I don't know what's going to look good on me, etc. I only have ONE day in November when we can go dress shopping, and we have to get the bridesmaids dresses that day as well. So we're aren't exactly going to be able for me to spend hours upon hours trying to decide what styles, etc I want. I thought it was normal to try on multiple dresses, and go to multiple stores before deciding what you want.

But if you do happen to fall in love with a dress on a shopping trip prior to the November one, might you go ahead and buy it?

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

AddieCake said:

Alyssa18o6 said:

Maggie0829 said:

doeydo said:

I guess I don't understand the point of shopping if you have no intention of buying anything for months and months yet.

This. If you don't want to seriously consider buying until November then I really don't see the point in trying on dresses now. And what happens if you do find "the dress" during your shopping trip next week? Are you really going to not buy it just because you want to wait until November?

Because I have NO idea what kind of dress I want yet. I don't know what's going to look good on me, etc. I only have ONE day in November when we can go dress shopping, and we have to get the bridesmaids dresses that day as well. So we're aren't exactly going to be able for me to spend hours upon hours trying to decide what styles, etc I want. I thought it was normal to try on multiple dresses, and go to multiple stores before deciding what you want.

But if you do happen to fall in love with a dress on a shopping trip prior to the November one, might you go ahead and buy it?

No probably not. We are shopping in November for quite a few reasons, and one of them has to do with budget. I know my Mother just can't afford to drop that much on a wedding dress right now, and i'm a full time student, and don't work so I don't have the funds to drop either. I just don't want to have to settle on a dress that day, at one store because I didn't keep my options open, and look at other dresses. I figured i'd just keep the style number saved if I do find a dress i'm in love with, and if I have to order it online i'm not opposed to that if it's not available in store in November. If we had multiple days to shop for dresses then I wouldn't exactly care so much, but I have family/friends flying in for that day to shop, and my Grandma is having eye surgery soon (she can't see very well now) and I know she'd love to be able to see me try on dresses, which she'd be able to do in November as opposed to now.

Dignity100 · June 2014

Alyssa18o6 said:

AddieCake said:

Alyssa18o6 said:

Maggie0829 said:

doeydo said:

I guess I don't understand the point of shopping if you have no intention of buying anything for months and months yet.

This. If you don't want to seriously consider buying until November then I really don't see the point in trying on dresses now. And what happens if you do find "the dress" during your shopping trip next week? Are you really going to not buy it just because you want to wait until November?

Because I have NO idea what kind of dress I want yet. I don't know what's going to look good on me, etc. I only have ONE day in November when we can go dress shopping, and we have to get the bridesmaids dresses that day as well. So we're aren't exactly going to be able for me to spend hours upon hours trying to decide what styles, etc I want. I thought it was normal to try on multiple dresses, and go to multiple stores before deciding what you want.

But if you do happen to fall in love with a dress on a shopping trip prior to the November one, might you go ahead and buy it?

No probably not. We are shopping in November for quite a few reasons, and one of them has to do with budget. I know my Mother just can't afford to drop that much on a wedding dress right now, and i'm a full time student, and don't work so I don't have the funds to drop either. I just don't want to have to settle on a dress that day, at one store because I didn't keep my options open, and look at other dresses. I figured i'd just keep the style number saved if I do find a dress i'm in love with, and if I have to order it online i'm not opposed to that if it's not available in store in November. If we had multiple days to shop for dresses then I wouldn't exactly care so much, but I have family/friends flying in for that day to shop, and my Grandma is having eye surgery soon (she can't see very well now) and I know she'd love to be able to see me try on dresses, which she'd be able to do in November as opposed to now.

Can you go shopping in October by yourself? I went dress shopping by myself. I got honest opinions from the consultants I worked with. All in all, nobody has seen me in MY dress and now I'm kind of happy it's going to be a surprise to everybody what it looks like on me.

Many brides do not find their dress at 1 shop or in 1 day. You're putting A LOT of pressure and stress on yourself looking to find a dress for yourself and your bridal party in one day. There's nothing wrong with going to a place like David's Bridal and shopping their sales/clearance dresses within a smaller budget.

If you order a dress online, make sure you stick with a well known retailer or a site like Tradesy or Preownedweddingdresses.

I went to at least over 7 shops in a 2+ month span before I found my gown.

MandyMost · June 2014

I think you should start shopping whenever you want, and keep and open mind of "If I find a dress I love and I can make it work budget-wise, then I'm going to buy the dress. If this happens to be before that special November day, hopefully we can arrange a fitting for that day".

I went to 5 stores over 2 different Saturdays. I found my dress at the first store on the first day, but still felt the need to really think about it to make sure (i.e. to make sure I kept looking it up and obsessing over it), and to check out other dresses just to be EXTRA sure, before I decided to buy.

Don't feel guilty at all about trying on dresses without the intention of buying one that day, but do just keep an open mind. What if there's a ridiculous sale on the most perfect dress ever?

Maggie0829 · June 2014

Alyssa18o6 said:

AddieCake said:

Alyssa18o6 said:

Maggie0829 said:

doeydo said:

I guess I don't understand the point of shopping if you have no intention of buying anything for months and months yet.

This. If you don't want to seriously consider buying until November then I really don't see the point in trying on dresses now. And what happens if you do find "the dress" during your shopping trip next week? Are you really going to not buy it just because you want to wait until November?

Because I have NO idea what kind of dress I want yet. I don't know what's going to look good on me, etc. I only have ONE day in November when we can go dress shopping, and we have to get the bridesmaids dresses that day as well. So we're aren't exactly going to be able for me to spend hours upon hours trying to decide what styles, etc I want. I thought it was normal to try on multiple dresses, and go to multiple stores before deciding what you want.

But if you do happen to fall in love with a dress on a shopping trip prior to the November one, might you go ahead and buy it?

No probably not. We are shopping in November for quite a few reasons, and one of them has to do with budget. I know my Mother just can't afford to drop that much on a wedding dress right now, and i'm a full time student, and don't work so I don't have the funds to drop either. I just don't want to have to settle on a dress that day, at one store because I didn't keep my options open, and look at other dresses. I figured i'd just keep the style number saved if I do find a dress i'm in love with, and if I have to order it online i'm not opposed to that if it's not available in store in November. If we had multiple days to shop for dresses then I wouldn't exactly care so much, but I have family/friends flying in for that day to shop, and my Grandma is having eye surgery soon (she can't see very well now) and I know she'd love to be able to see me try on dresses, which she'd be able to do in November as opposed to now.

Typically you only have to put down a deposit (a certain percentage of the total price) when you order the dress and then you pay the rest of it when the dress comes in.

climbingsingle · June 2014

Some things to keep in mind:

A large number of brides don't find their dress in one day, or at one shop.

You have no idea what you're really going to like or what is going to look best on you until you try it on. I had a very clear idea of what I thought I wanted. I ended up with the complete opposite.

Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself.

Most places will work out a payment plan with you.

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

Dignity100 said:

Alyssa18o6 said:

AddieCake said:

Alyssa18o6 said:

Maggie0829 said:

doeydo said:

I guess I don't understand the point of shopping if you have no intention of buying anything for months and months yet.

This. If you don't want to seriously consider buying until November then I really don't see the point in trying on dresses now. And what happens if you do find "the dress" during your shopping trip next week? Are you really going to not buy it just because you want to wait until November?

Because I have NO idea what kind of dress I want yet. I don't know what's going to look good on me, etc. I only have ONE day in November when we can go dress shopping, and we have to get the bridesmaids dresses that day as well. So we're aren't exactly going to be able for me to spend hours upon hours trying to decide what styles, etc I want. I thought it was normal to try on multiple dresses, and go to multiple stores before deciding what you want.

But if you do happen to fall in love with a dress on a shopping trip prior to the November one, might you go ahead and buy it?

No probably not. We are shopping in November for quite a few reasons, and one of them has to do with budget. I know my Mother just can't afford to drop that much on a wedding dress right now, and i'm a full time student, and don't work so I don't have the funds to drop either. I just don't want to have to settle on a dress that day, at one store because I didn't keep my options open, and look at other dresses. I figured i'd just keep the style number saved if I do find a dress i'm in love with, and if I have to order it online i'm not opposed to that if it's not available in store in November. If we had multiple days to shop for dresses then I wouldn't exactly care so much, but I have family/friends flying in for that day to shop, and my Grandma is having eye surgery soon (she can't see very well now) and I know she'd love to be able to see me try on dresses, which she'd be able to do in November as opposed to now.

Can you go shopping in October by yourself? I went dress shopping by myself. I got honest opinions from the consultants I worked with. All in all, nobody has seen me in MY dress and now I'm kind of happy it's going to be a surprise to everybody what it looks like on me.

Many brides do not find their dress at 1 shop or in 1 day. You're putting A LOT of pressure and stress on yourself looking to find a dress for yourself and your bridal party in one day. There's nothing wrong with going to a place like David's Bridal and shopping their sales/clearance dresses within a smaller budget.

If you order a dress online, make sure you stick with a well known retailer or a site like Tradesy or Preownedweddingdresses.

I went to at least over 7 shops in a 2+ month span before I found my gown.

This is why I'd like to have an idea of what i'm looking for. When we first got engaged I was like I want lace, I want something vintage looking. I'm a jump the gun kind of person. I remember in HS buying the first prom dress I saw and thought I liked. So I wanna get an idea of what I want, trying on different styles to see what's gonna work. Yeah I can find ideas on Pinterest but i'd rather see it in person to decide if I like it. I talked with my MOH, who is flying in for dress shopping and she said she'd be okay with missing shopping if I found something I liked prior to her coming in. As long as I sent her pictures, haha.

I had completely forgot that a girl that used to work for me works at David's Bridal, and I talked to her and she told me not to feel bad that plenty of girls come in to browse and get ideas. So I feel a little better now. Plus I keep telling myself that if I don't look around it's gonna make it even harder when it's time to purchase a dress. I've talked to a few brides that I know and they all said they took a while and went to quite a few stores before they found something, so i'm starting to feel better. It's just unrealistic to me to go to one store and expect to find a gown. I know it happens, and it definitely could be the case for me. But I don't wanna put that pressure on myself.

lilacck28 · June 2014

I went shopping with my mom for the first time a little over a year ahead of my wedding. Once I started shopping.... I wanted to shop more! It was fun! But then that train was zooming along, and I started getting overwhelmed. I wanted to buy one RIGHT AWAY because I was finding a lot of dresses I liked. I went to 5 shops total, and I think I visited them a total of 8 times. There was one dress that felt a little different that i found during my second shopping trip. I kept shopping afterwards, and kept finding more (and often more expensive) that I liked, but then went back to that second shop to try on the same dress a few times, and I finally said "ahh! let's just buy it!"

I think, as it was in my case, it is definitely possible that once you start shopping you are not going to want to stop until you find the dress. It can get overwhelming. You are very far out from your wedding date, and I would not begin shopping in person until you are mentally prepared to shop shop shop. It would have driven me INSANE to go shopping once or twice and then wait a few more months before going again. I do not think it usually takes very long to get a general sense of silhouette and details that you like (one appointment! two tops!), so I wouldn't worry too much about needing months for that.

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

Just an update for everyone... We ended up going yesterday, and boy am I glad I did! We only went to one shop and the very first dress I tried on is a very high contender, not to mention a style I was even considering orignially (fit and flare). My Mom and I talked about it on the way and she said if I did find something she could put the deposit down and for me not to worry. When we talked to the girl she told us that they customer order every dress, and it takes 6-7 months and then we have to get it altered. She told us she'd recommend ordering a dress no later then August to give me enough room for alterations and such before my wedding. I didn't realize it took that long! There is no way I would of been ok with ordering a dress in November, that would be wayyy to tight of a squeeze and leave little room for alterations. I'm plus size as well, so it's not even really as if buying the sample would be an option

We're going to Alfred Angelo this afternoon because my Mom and Step Mom just really want me to look at other options before setting on this dress, if I don't find anything today we're going to go back next month to the other shop and order the dress. I really hate that we have such limited options around where I live so I don't get a huge option, but oh well. I talked to my FSIL last night and she got her dress at AA and it ended up taking 7 months, thankfully she ordered it a year in advance.

Thanks everyone for your help

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

Update again... I found my dress!! I got it at Alfred Angelo and they let my Mom put 25% down so it ended up working out nice. We were going to wait to purchase it but they were having a trunk show and the designer offered us $350 off the dress so we couldn't pass it up since it was over my budget without the discount

I love it, and it's absolutely perfect.

lilacck28 · June 2014

SHOW IT OFF!!! What's the dress look like ahhhh I want to know!

Ndelible · June 2014

Congratulations! Have to love a perfect deal! Please do show us the dress!

buttercup1958 · June 2014

Pictures please!

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

@lilacck28 @Ndelible @buttercup1958

I absolutely love it! I wanted a dramatic bottom, and a mermaid. I got so lucky that the manager brought it out of the back for me to try on. The train is amazing, but my Mom didn't get me any pictures she was caught up haha. It's the 880 from Alfred Angelo Sapphire.

buttercup1958 · June 2014

Wow you look great in it!

Alyssa18o6 · June 2014

buttercup1958 said:

Wow you look great in it!

Thank you so much! I was so worried about trying on dresses because of my size, and I felt amazing in the dress. It really flattered my lack of a shape haha.

Lowell14 · June 2014

The dress looks beautiful! Love the bottom.

Ndelible · June 2014

Rock those curves! It's beautiful on you! Congrats!

mrsmagicgeek · June 2014

That dress looks amazing on you! Congrats!

frewinclaire · June 2014

I felt exactly the same way. It spurred me to writing my blog as I couldn't work out why I was so freaked out about just trying dresses on. I guess they make the whole thing very very real!!

http://bridechiller.blogspot.co.uk/2013_12_01_archive.html

southernbelle0915 · June 2014

@knotporscha - frewinclaire blog promotion again

Feeling weird about trying on dresses..

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