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40-Plus Brides
RhnCasi419
member
1st marriage for both I am 48 Intro/Deserving?
Hi, I am partly thrilled to see an over 40 brides thread, but from reading everybody's experiences (so similar to mine) it has almost cemented the sadness of people's opinions. I am 47 now, but will be 48 when I say "I do" for the 1st time in my life. My lifelong best friend, married twice, right from the get go said I deserve "the wedding" - very sweet of her. But others give me an attitude like I am crazy to shell out the $$ for a big wedding (we are having 125 ppl, garden, estate, mansion in Fall 2015). I am worried about what people will think of me in a wedding gown. Worried about what people will say because we are spending money on a wedding when we should probably be putting it toward retirement at this stage of our lives! I hate that I am in my late 40's and planning a wedding. I waited my whole life for the right one. I took marriage seriously (and have had opportunities throughout my life to say "I do") so WHY WHY do people (friends and families) have to lessen this moment for me/us/people our age when it should be something even more special?! I did have one makeup artist tell me she had been married 3x's and was my age - because it was my 1st she thought it was special enough to give me her 2012 rates. Haha, I don't know if she was blowing smoke up my butt but it was sweet just the same. Guess I am looking for some acknowledgement that this marriage IS a special one, both of us never having been married which to me is very special at this age. It just gets me angry that people have negative opinions (not on this board) that just because we waited most of our lives now we are too old to have a wedding. Hmph! Who says? Who made that rule up? I want the white (ivory) dress, I want all things wedding related. I waited long enough darn it and I want people to be happy for me that day w/out judging. We deserve this JUST AS MUCH or even more than a 20-something year old getting married for the 1st time in my opinion. Just had to vent.
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Re: 1st marriage for both I am 48 Intro/Deserving?
Thank you so much everyone!!!
I am much more confident after this posting. I thought certain family members would feel that way but I reached out to them, and announced I was going to be married and have a wedding and they all seemed enthusiastic about it! Of course, human nature, there will always be someone who will have a negative opinion but I will just have to filter those people out.
My boyfriend's sister just got married at 47 to her girlfriend of five years. They had a rehearsal dinner, a wedding at a winery for 120 guests, and a brunch the next day. It never once occurred to me that because of thier ages there was something wrong with a wonderful ceremony with all their friends and family, or a lavish dinner, or a live band with dancing into the night. What should they have done? Apologized and had their wedding in a basement because they are over 40? People want to celebrate with you, and you are never too old for that.