Holy conundrum
Dear Prudence,
I am a relatively young, male, and not-yet-tenured professor at a university. My department is overwhelmingly older (55-plus), white, and male. Several of the senior professors in my department, including the chair, have attitudes toward women that are downright sexist. On a number of occasions I have heard these faculty members make comments about the physical appearance of young women that are inappropriate and creepy. However, recently a female student confessed to me something that truly disturbs me. She said that two of the senior faculty, one of whom is the chair of my department, pays her for sex. She said she does not want to tell anyone else, partly for fear of getting in trouble because prostitution is illegal, but also because the two professors are essentially paying her college tuition in exchange for her services. I feel this is an extreme ethical violation, and judging by the character of the two professors probably only the tip of the iceberg. But I am at a severe power disadvantage in this situation. My boss can easily fire me. The dean and provost at my university are also member of this misogynistic “old boys’ club” and I don’t feel I can trust them. If the student refuses to testify, then the perpetrators can simply deny it and no one would believe me. What should I do?
—Ethical Dilemma
Re: Holy conundrum
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ETA: I'm completely willing to think this man wants to save the female from sex work. B/c that story is not unusual. Does she want to be saved? Where does his feelings work into this at all? You don't know the actual answer to that w/o more details. I was friends who a woman who stripped through college and ran into her professors (male and female) while doing so. Some profs walked out on her, some paid, some asked for someone different, it all depends on the person and their understanding/comfort with sex work.
Also, sex work is not a romantic relationship. Period. I'm not going to guide you to various sex workers blogs, but they are adamant about this is not romance...this is a job. You might be faking a relationship for the paying partner's happiness, but romance is a laden word with assumptions, expectations, and feelings. Sex work is not and they do not feel that way.