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need opinions - FBIL's DW - 2 months after our wedding - UPDATE

TeddiD34TeddiD34 member
100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
edited June 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hi,

My FI and I are getting married this October; his brother just announced a DW in December, 2 months after our wedding. We were planning on going on our honeymoon this January. We both will have used up all of our Vacation time with our jobs, from our wedding.

We don't want to look like dicks, but how the heck can FBIL expect that we can afford this/ have time off work for this?

I appreciate any input you can give me :)

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Re: need opinions - FBIL's DW - 2 months after our wedding - UPDATE

  • delujm0delujm0 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    If you can't go, you can't go.  FBIL should have cleared his dates with all VIPs before booking his wedding.  If he didn't clear his dates with you, he clearly doesn't think you're a VIP.  You have every right to decline.  No one can make you go to a wedding that you can't afford (in time or money). 

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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2014
    delujm0 said:

    If you can't go, you can't go.  FBIL should have cleared his dates with all VIPs before booking his wedding.  If he didn't clear his dates with you, he clearly doesn't think you're a VIP.  You have every right to decline.  No one can make you go to a wedding that you can't afford (in time or money). 

    Bingo. If my brother had announced his wedding date before we had, I would have worked with him to figure out a date that worked best for him and my SIL. There's no way I would have planned my wedding without ensuring my parents and siblings could make it.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    TeddiD34 said:
    Hey, I thought you all may find it interesting that I just found out that this DW will be a PPD as fbil will be married locally prior to this, due to legal reasons, unbeknownst to me. As soon as I heard my fmil tell us this, the words PPD jumped into my head (as well as "those motherfuckers"). So, we booked the HM we originally wanted, and are leaving this display of fakeness alone. Thanks for all of your input on this.
    Good for you!
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    TeddiD34 said:
    Hey, I thought you all may find it interesting that I just found out that this DW will be a PPD as fbil will be married locally prior to this, due to legal reasons, unbeknownst to me. As soon as I heard my fmil tell us this, the words PPD jumped into my head (as well as "those motherfuckers"). So, we booked the HM we originally wanted, and are leaving this display of fakeness alone. Thanks for all of your input on this.
    Good on ya!

    Has anyone tried to give you any shit about this yet?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Oh lawd.

    Enjoy your HM all the more by knowing you're not enabling that charade!
    Anniversary

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  • TeddiD34TeddiD34 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Not as of yet, PGL, but my FI will be ready for it when they try...

    We have total support from his father and step mom, as they're not going either (more for financial reasons than distaste for what is actually going on).

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