Just Engaged and Proposals

Engagement Party or Not????

Hi Ladies...

Congrats on your upcoming weddings and engagements.  My wedding is a year away and my parents and future in-laws are PRESSING the issue of an engagement party.  We Sol (soon to be husband) think we should save the money we would spend on the engagement party for our wedding (duh).  What do you guys think Engagement party or not?


Thanks

C

Re: Engagement Party or Not????

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You should not be hosting your own engagement party, so you are off the hook. Engagement parties can be difficult to plan as well. You must be sure that anyone invited to an engagement party is also invited to the wedding. Many couples go without an engagement party. Save your money.
    NYCMercedesKeptInStitchesNYCBruin
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MobKaz said:
    You should not be hosting your own engagement party, so you are off the hook. Engagement parties can be difficult to plan as well. You must be sure that anyone invited to an engagement party is also invited to the wedding. Many couples go without an engagement party. Save your money.

    Exactly this!
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    If you don't want to have an engagement party, don't have one. Your fiance needs to tell his family  how you both feel and that the subject is closed. 

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Thank you all. 

    His sister would be hosting... but not to bore you with details Sol always ends up footing the bill some how.  His family is just well not like my family.  My parents are very reserved and would not think of pressuring us one way or the other.  Our deal is he handles his family (and he does, but that's a story for another day :) )  and I deal with my family. 

    Thank you all again!!!

  • It's up to you! The fact is...its your wedding, so do what you want! We are hosting our own engagement party (and obviously many people criticize this), but it is what we want to do....both of our families live in different cities and don't know many of our friends and no one offered. We want to celebrate, though!

    Bottom line, do what makes you happy! Big engagement party, small engagement party, no engagement party, it's up to you and your fiance!
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2014
    jbswetish said:
    It's up to you! The fact is...its your wedding, so do what you want! We are hosting our own engagement party (and obviously many people criticize this), but it is what we want to do....both of our families live in different cities and don't know many of our friends and no one offered. We want to celebrate, though!

    Bottom line, do what makes you happy! Big engagement party, small engagement party, no engagement party, it's up to you and your fiance!
    Terrible advice!  It is NOT your wedding; it is your engagement party.  You only get one if someone offers to give it for you.  I didn't have one.  My daughter didn't have one.  You should not be spending any money on such a party if someone offers to give you one.
    "It is your wedding.  Do what you want!" only applies if you are eloping.  As soon as you invite guests, proper etiquette applies, and the focus shifts to the comfort of your guests.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    holyguacamole79
  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2014
    I don't really understand engagement parties. They seem like they require a bunch of money that could have been spent on your wedding reception/ ceremony. And it gets really exhausting for guests to go to so many events. 

    ETA: If someone offers to throw an engagement party for you and you want one, then I think that's fine! I realize my post may have come off differently. I just meant, don't feel like you MUST have one! There are certainly reasons not to. 
    CMGragainMaggie0829
  • lilacck28 said:
    I don't really understand engagement parties. They seem like they require a bunch of money that could have been spent on your wedding reception/ ceremony. And it gets really exhausting for guests to go to so many events. 

    ETA: If someone offers to throw an engagement party for you and you want one, then I think that's fine! I realize my post may have come off differently. I just meant, don't feel like you MUST have one! There are certainly reasons not to. 
    We had an engagement party.  FI's parents hosted a lovely cocktail party followed by a dinner.  It was a really sweet gesture, but in all honesty, the party was definitely more for his parents and their friends than it was for or about us.  The guest list was almost entirely their friends aside from some members of my family.

    I totally understand why they wanted to throw a party, it was their chance to celebrate their son's engagement with their friends on their terms.  While those friends will be invited to our wedding, our wedding will be our "vision" and will have a much larger guest list, meaning that we won't be able to spend as much time with their friends.

    FWIW, I would have been perfectly happy without an engagement party.  Like you, I don't really "get" them.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    lilacck28
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