I hate cake...

dcaviston · July 2014

Yup that's right I said it. I hate cake and so does my fiance. So we aren't having any cake at our wedding. Want to see people's heads spin when they ask about your wedding? Tell them there will be no cake, no cupcakes, not even cheesecake(out door wedding bad idea in the heat). It's like you've just told them the Tooth fairy isn't real. I get it, the cake is like the second biggest part following actual I do's and first kiss, but it's just cake. I've never liked cake, he's never liked cake. My mom even brought up this past weekend about going shopping for a cake knife/serving set, I stared at her like she had 3 heads for like 3 minutes. Finally she's like "Oh that's right you aren't having cake... what if we call it a pie cutting knife set? There will be pie right?" Yes mom there will be pie, lots of pie, pie of all variety! and That yummy graham cracker thing you make, please and thank you. Sorry I just had to rant about this, since in the past 2 weeks, I have apparently crushed the souls, hopes and dreams of several future guests that there will be no cake, but better they find out now right? lol

tcnoble · July 2014

I love cake but I loooove pie so as long as there is some dessert I wouldn't be too crushed!! What pie flavors are you having??

dcaviston · July 2014

Right now the flavors are: Apple, Cherry, Peanut butter(one of my MOH's offered to make it since it's her thing), and possibly Strawberry rhubarb(if I can get my godmother to give me the recipe). Well I do apologize for any guests that will be disappointed in our No cake wedding, but with all the baking my aunts do and insist on doing (I can't really argue with 3 Italian American women who were brought up thinking any family gathering means they cook and must feed people lol) There will be plenty of yummy desserts that cake will not even be missed.

downtondiva · July 2014

I love cake, but I also love pie, so I don't see a problem here.

Maggie0829 · July 2014

And me to the crushed souls. So sad that you don't like cake

tammym1001 · July 2014

I would be sad. Pie and cake aren't interchangeable to me

I totally understand if you guys don't like cake though.

Jen4948 · July 2014

You don't have to have cake. I'd be surprised but not hurt if you don't.

Just have some dessert. I love pie.

cupcait927 · July 2014

As long as there is dessert, I'm happy. And it sounds like you're offering multiple pie options that all sounds delish. If you and your FI really don't like cake, then I see no problem in not offering it. Just as you can't always please every single person with your dinner options, you're not always going to please every single person with dessert. So have your pie and enjoy!

dcaviston · July 2014

@ scribe95, We aren't throwing a sheet cake in there to please cake eaters because we are not wasting money on something we do not want at our wedding. Would you pay for a dinner option you didn't want or a type of flower that you hated to be at your wedding? No you wouldn't. If we provide a cake, then we have to throw out what is left of the uneaten cake afterwards... total waste of our hard earned money. They can have pie and cookies, fruit salad, or nothing, not everyone eats desert anyway.

@cupcait927 I plan to enjoy my pie and my wedding I hope that you enjoy every part of your wedding as well.

Jen4948 · July 2014

dcaviston said:

@ scribe95, We aren't throwing a sheet cake in there to please cake eaters because we are not wasting money on something we do not want at our wedding. Would you pay for a dinner option you didn't want or a type of flower that you hated to be at your wedding? No you wouldn't. If we provide a cake, then we have to throw out what is left of the uneaten cake afterwards... total waste of our hard earned money. They can have pie and cookies, fruit salad, or nothing, not everyone eats desert anyway.
@cupcait927 I plan to enjoy my pie and my wedding I hope that you enjoy every part of your wedding as well.

Actually, if enough people really wanted something in the way of food or beverages, I'd consider it even if I personally wouldn't partake of it. My reason for not including it, if I decide not to do it, might be because I can't afford it, but it would not be because I don't personally like it. It's not appropriate for me to force my personal tastes (as opposed to religious or lifestyle issues) in regards to food and drink on my guests, not even at my wedding.

I personally hate coffee, but since I know that the vast majority of people who would be at my wedding like to drink it, I'd provide it. Same with beer. I wouldn't not have them because "I don't want to waste money on them." If enough people at the wedding like it, then I wouldn't worry about whether or not there are leftovers. There probably won't be.

dcaviston · July 2014

Well I guess it comes down to knowing your guests and the fact that whether or not they want or expect a wedding cake, they aren't getting one because I know for a fact that is one thing that will be wasted, when there will be so many other options. And whether or not we can afford something doesn't really matter when it comes down to if the majority of that item will end up in the trash at the end of night. And when push comes to shove my fiance and I would rather not throw money in trash when it can be better spent else where like on more ice and beverages since we will be outside in June.

csuave · July 2014

I'll gladly eat whatever dessert is served at an event because I have a huge sweet tooth.

As for cake, I think it is just OK. There is a long list of desserts that could be served at a wedding that I would choose over cake. Especially since cake is done ALL the time: office parties, birthdays, showers, graduations, etc. Your dessert plan sounds delicious and refreshingly different.

Doing what is popular is also a good point. That is why we did chicken and beef. And had a lite beer. I'm not a picky eater but I know lots of people that are. Our thinking was give the people their chicken and let them be happy. That being said, even though cake is popular I wouldn't do it either if I were you. The desserts you will serve are main stream and popular enough (and a great, plentiful variety) that I think they substitute just fine for cake. Now if you would have posted that you were doing fruitcake for dessert and nothing else...that would be a different story

Maggie0829 · July 2014

Yeah I am with scribe and Jen. I offered things at my wedding that I personally don't like but know that a majority of people do.

As someone who hates pie I would be a bit miffed that there wasn't cake, but then I would just grab another drink and stop by a cold stone or chic fil a on the way home for a milkshake.

tammym1001 · July 2014

dcaviston said:

@ scribe95, We aren't throwing a sheet cake in there to please cake eaters because we are not wasting money on something we do not want at our wedding. Would you pay for a dinner option you didn't want or a type of flower that you hated to be at your wedding? No you wouldn't. If we provide a cake, then we have to throw out what is left of the uneaten cake afterwards... total waste of our hard earned money. They can have pie and cookies, fruit salad, or nothing, not everyone eats desert anyway.
@cupcait927 I plan to enjoy my pie and my wedding I hope that you enjoy every part of your wedding as well.

I absolutely hate seafood!!! Hate it, hate it, hate it. We had salmon at our wedding and we also offered shrimp cocktail and crab stuffed mushrooms (I'm allergic to mushrooms) because there were people at our wedding who liked seafood.

I'm not sure why you got all defensive about her suggesting you put out a sheet cake. It sounds like you are offering several dessert options so it wouldn't be too far fetched to add a small cake to your dessert offerings. You said yourself that people who are coming to your wedding are giving you a hard time about not having cake so scribe was offering you a helpful suggestion to pacify those people and still get to have your pie and eat it too.

dcaviston · July 2014

Ok first off, my original post wasn't one that was seeking input on how to handle guest that want cake when we do want. It was merely a silly vent about the strange looks family member who know my fiance and I do not like cake when told there won't be cake. Second off, I wasn't defensive at all, merely stating that we'd rather not waster hard earned money on something that will go to waste when it could be better spent else where in the food and beverage department. I do not understand why people on this site jump to conclusions about my tone and yes I am "defiantly proud" about all the pie options being offered and I find it almost comical how you that have inferred that I am jumping down someone's throat about a suggestion and my tone have over looked the times I have mentioned there will other dessert options aside form pie, but if a guest wants to stop for a milkshake on their way home more power to them, I'm lactose intolerant so no milkshakes for

Enjoy your weddings ladies as well as your cake and I will enjoy mine and my pies

Jen4948 · July 2014

dcaviston said:

Ok first off, my original post wasn't one that was seeking input on how to handle guest that want cake when we do want. It was merely a silly vent about the strange looks family member who know my fiance and I do not like cake when told there won't be cake. Second off, I wasn't defensive at all, merely stating that we'd rather not waster hard earned money on something that will go to waste when it could be better spent else where in the food and beverage department. I do not understand why people on this site jump to conclusions about my tone and yes I am "defiantly proud" about all the pie options being offered and I find it almost comical how you that have inferred that I am jumping down someone's throat about a suggestion and my tone have over looked the times I have mentioned there will other dessert options aside form pie, but if a guest wants to stop for a milkshake on their way home more power to them, I'm lactose intolerant so no milkshakes for Enjoy your weddings ladies as well as your cake and I will enjoy mine and my pies

Actually, the issue is that no one sees the need for a "defiantly proud" tone. It's okay to prefer pie over cake. Some of us might be surprised that there isn't cake, but we wouldn't side eye you over it. And others of us feel that even if we didn't like cake, if enough guests did, we wouldn't see it as "wasted money" if we got some for those guests anyway, because even if we don't eat it, it would still get eaten.

We're encouraging you to see any leftover cake as not "wasted money" but "my guests do like cake even if I don't so I had some for them anyway." You might even be able to get someone other than yourself to take the leftovers home.

It's called "positive thinking."

Maggie0829 · July 2014

I still don't understand that if you are having other desserts how throwing in a sheet cake is that big of a deal? Apparently some of your guests are sad that there won't be any cake, so as a good host and someone who wants to see their guests happy, getting a $30 sheet cake from Costco would be worth it me.

dcaviston · July 2014

Again I state it comes down to us knowing our guests and what they will eat the majority of and it will be all the desserts we are offering. Why are you pushing so hard to inflict your wedding beliefs on to my wedding? I am not having cake because we do not like it and do not want to deal with any potential left overs. Also we aren't purchasing pre-made pies we are making them and 1/ Costco as one of you suggested does not exist in my area and 2/ $30 is alot for our budget for something that is not budgeted in. Now while I have enjoyed this go around of you need to have cake at a wedding thread, I've got other things to do. Enjoy your cake ladies.

dcaviston · July 2014

@KnotPorscha close this thread

chibiyui · July 2014

Are you having whipped cream or ice cream for topping the pie? I like pie, but I think it needs the a la mode treatment to take it from dessert to "wedding dessert"

I will say, it is entirely your right, and okay to not serve cake your wedding. But given that you've said people were upset there wouldn't be cake, the suggestion of serving an inexpensive sheet cake is a very valid one. Surely if there were left overs someone else could take it (we offered left over cake and cookies to the service staff)

But yeah, I personally think something like a cream puff, éclair or doughnut would be a nice addition, if you could afford it. Fruit salad is a dessert, but I feel like it's more of a side then a dessert.

tammym1001 · July 2014

Who knew cake could be such a hot topic issue. Does anyone have puppies eating cake for this "closed" thread?

Jen4948 · July 2014

dcaviston said:
Again I state it comes down to us knowing our guests and what they will eat the majority of and it will be all the desserts we are offering. Why are you pushing so hard to inflict your wedding beliefs on to my wedding? I am not having cake because we do not like it and do not want to deal with any potential left overs. Also we aren't purchasing pre-made pies we are making them and 1/ Costco as one of you suggested does not exist in my area and 2/ $30 is alot for our budget for something that is not budgeted in. Now while I have enjoyed this go around of you need to have cake at a wedding thread, I've got other things to do. Enjoy your cake ladies.

As you say, it's about "knowing your guests." But if they all want cake, are you going to deny it to them just because you don't like it? No one is requiring you to eat it.

And what if no one else wants to eat pie or whatever you do serve? You'll still end up with a lot of expensive leftovers.

Demanding that a thread be closed because you only want to have your own views expressed and considered (very defensively at that) makes you sound like a pouting 3 year old. It doesn't inspire sympathy for your views.

Maggie0829 · July 2014

@tammym1001 - Here you go!

Fairyjen1 · July 2014

I love CAKE! That said, I love PIE as well. Serve what you want. I don't think it's an etiquette breach to serve only pie as cake sort of falls under 'tradition' and not 'Etiquette'. Will people expect cake at a wedding? sure! Are you a bad host if you don't provide it? No!

Bucking any wedding tradition is going to get a certain amount of side-eye and grumbling, whether it's etiquette related or not. You sort of need to expect it and decide if you have a thick enough skin to handle it. People get dissapointed if their favorite wedding traditions are absent.

There is something to be said for providing cake if you know most of your audience really wants it, even if you don't. You'll seem to be a more thoughtful host. But really, if anyone grumbles about the lack of cake it's they who are rude for insisting on something you aren't providing. I certainly wouldn't side eye you and would chow down happily on that peanut butter pie!

I hate cake...

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