Good morning ladies, I would like some advice on how to deal. I'll share some of the details (way too long to go into specifics) to give you my situation.
So last night I get a call from my mom to inform me that only person I don't want at my wedding may infact be at my wedding.
Backstory- Ths person would be my brothers date. He and I aren't close and haven't been for awhile, beginning when he starting dating crazy. It caused many issues between not only us, but also my family (i.e. short story: she starts things and makes up stories and it's led to situations where my brother and her were continuously picked over me, by my own parents. There was about a year where I was actually alienated by my family. My mom is part of the problem and continues feeds into her stories. FI has also gotten dragged into her stories and is on the same page as me.) For my own sanity I don't want her there. They've been broken up for about a year, and things were finally getting better with our family, even some with my brother. With all the past tension, my brother has never been excited about the upcoming wedding and now along with being told she might be his guest, he is "so excited and cant wait". I made my position very clear when we got engaged and they were still together that I don't want her there and feel this is out of spite which brings me to part two.
Part two- One of my bridesmaids and crazy have a serious history of issue. (We'll put aside the fact that pretty much every that will be at the wedding strongly dislikes her). Crazy is a recorded one strike away from a restraining order because of their history (she was too nice because I told her long ago she should have filed it). With these issues, my mom was never a fan of her being in the wedding because of this backstory (indirectly affects my brother for obvious reasons). My brother has already tried to make comments about how he doesn't want to go because my bridesmaid's husband may start a fight, my brother is twice the size. Soooo - I feel as this coming up suddenly after a year is just spiteful because of my bridesmaid. My brothers relationship has been over, he moved cross country from crazy so I have a hard time thinking they are getting back together and it's not just for one day. Now I know with etiquette you can't dictate who people bring but I'm strongly worried something will go down at the wedding (could be between her and a number of people).
I communicated my feelings and my parents pretty much said too bad. "They won't pick between their kids" which they are by chosing to let her come despite my wishes IMO. So I pretty much have been told I don't have a say.
Sorry it's so long and hopefully it makes sense.