Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Do not want a Father/Daughter Dance

Just wanted to see if anyone else had this problem...

I am not exactly fond of my dad (alcoholic, abusive to my mom before divorce, did not assist my mom financially, etc etc), but to his credit he has improved quite a bit where I was willing to invite him to the wedding. I originally was going to have only my mom (the one who raised me) walk me down the aisle, but she said I had to have him do it too, and I reluctantly agreed. However, my dad is now very excited to have a father daughter dance. I hate him even hugging me, and I especially do not want to touch him. My FI isn't having a mother and son dance so I was going to play it off as being sensitive to FI's family, but I know he would be heart broken. Should I tell him no dance, or just suck it up? Any alternative ideas? I thought about having a song where I danced with him, my mom and step dad. (And since people ask this, he is not providing for the wedding in any shape or form, and that is ok). Thank you everyone!

Re: Do not want a Father/Daughter Dance

  • Just wanted to see if anyone else had this problem... I am not exactly fond of my dad (alcoholic, abusive to my mom before divorce, did not assist my mom financially, etc etc), but to his credit he has improved quite a bit where I was willing to invite him to the wedding. I originally was going to have only my mom (the one who raised me) walk me down the aisle, but she said I had to have him do it too, and I reluctantly agreed. However, my dad is now very excited to have a father daughter dance. I hate him even hugging me, and I especially do not want to touch him. My FI isn't having a mother and son dance so I was going to play it off as being sensitive to FI's family, but I know he would be heart broken. Should I tell him no dance, or just suck it up? Any alternative ideas? I thought about having a song where I danced with him, my mom and step dad. (And since people ask this, he is not providing for the wedding in any shape or form, and that is ok). Thank you everyone!

    This is totally your decision so feel no obligation. Just tell your dad that we're not doing it. End of story. If he asks why, just tell him you don't want to. No more reasons needed.
  • I would tell him you prefer not to have the dance. You shouldn't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable like that.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • I agree with everyone else.  Don't do it you don't feel comfortable.  This day is about you (and FI of course).  I think you've made more than enough of a gesture by allowing him to walk you down the isle.  Just tell him no and leave it at that.
  • Yeah, don't do it. There are consequences to being a shitty parent, and that includes missing out on fun stuff like father daughter dances. Just tell him you weren't planning on having it. If he pushes back, you can decide how blunt you want to be.
    image



    Anniversary
  • Why should you! It's other people's expectations that make you think you should, not your own :)

    http://bridechiller.blogspot.co.uk

  • Thank you everyone for your responses; they were very helpful, and I didn't know if I was being a brat.

    And chibiyui, your gif pretty much sums up my PS2 experiences. :D

  • I know how you feel. I was planning to try and get out of the dance as well, but then I found out my Dad has cancer and now I will prob end up doing the dance, because deep down I love him and this whole cancer thing is effing with my emotions!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards