And I just got a very upsetting email

KytchynWitche · July 2014

My mom's cancer is back. Strictly speaking, it never went away. Apparently she's had bone cancer since 2009, the doctor knew and has been treating it accordingly, but decided it would be best not to tell my mom. I understand why, but I still think it was shitty of him not to tell her.

She went for a CT scan on Monday, there are spots on her liver, and she starts chemo on Friday. 2-3 months of it. Of course, all she's worried about is whether she'll have hair or not for my wedding. I don't care, I just want her there.

And all I can think about now is hopping a bus and getting to her as quickly as I can, but I'm flat broke. Maybe I can get a lift from someone... I'm going to go find out about that. I might not be back on TK for a while if I can find a way to get to my mom.

vk2204 · July 2014

I am so sorry.

jdluvr06 · July 2014

I'm so sorry. (((Hugs)))

AddieCake · July 2014

I'm very sorry.

climbingsingle · July 2014

I'm very sorry.

blabla89 · July 2014

Sending you lots of love and hugs. We went through something similar with my mom and I know it's so hard to be far away at a time like that. So sorry you're going through this.

aspoonfulofsugar · July 2014

I'm so sorry ::hugs:: and lots of good thoughts your way.

theexactlee · July 2014

Wait a minute, the doctor knew your mother had cancer but didn't disclose this to her? Do you live in another country by chance where they have different rules about such things? That is not okay! I'm praying for your mother and you both during this impossible time.

wandajune6 · July 2014

I'm so sorry. Lots of positive thoughts heading your way.

KytchynWitche · July 2014

Thanks everyone.

My mother was being treated for cancer after the removal of a tumor in her breast in 2009, so I guess she just assumed that whatever medication the doctor was giving her was for that?

I'm not sure about the laws here, though I would assume it's illegal to withhold information from a patient. But we may have some sort of loophole-y thing, where a doctor can withhold information if he believes that the knowledge of the illness would set back the patient's recovery. I'm still not very happy about it, and I plan to talk to my mom as soon as I can and see if there's anything we can do. My mom says she doesn't think she could have stayed as upbeat about everything as she has if she'd known she was sick all along, but I still don't think that makes it right...

I've managed to find a lift TO the city (or at least close enough that a friend or family member could pick me up easily), but I don't know how I would get home again. So for now I'm holding off on going until I can figure out how I'd get back.

I really want to be there with her, but at the same time there's nothing I can do for her and I don't want her to be worrying about me...

Jells2dot0 · July 2014

So sorry to hear this and sending thoughts and prayers your way!

Fuck cancer!!!

pinkcow13 · July 2014

I'm so sorry, I'm sending you many prayers.

chibiyui · July 2014

I'm sorry, sending thoughts and prayers.

KeptInStitches · July 2014

I'm sorry. You, your family, and especially your mom are in my thoughts.

SBmini · July 2014

Can we help out in any ways? I will happily donate a little money to help you get to your mom. Hugs and love your way. It seems like there is a surge of cancer diagnosis on the board lately and it is all very sad.

slothiegal · July 2014

I'm so sorry to hear this. If there's anything we can do, please let us know. (((hugs)))

KytchynWitche · July 2014

SBmini said:

Can we help out in any ways? I will happily donate a little money to help you get to your mom. Hugs and love your way. It seems like there is a surge of cancer diagnosis on the board lately and it is all very sad.

Thank you so much for the offer, it's very sweet of you and very much appreciated, but I couldn't ask for money from "strangers". I'll make it work with the resources I have available.

FI has a friend who lives near my mom, who may be able to bring me home (his parents live near here, I think) in a week or two.

erollis · July 2014

I'm so sorry. Thoughts and prayers you can get to your mom and find a way back home safely.

larrygaga · July 2014

I'm sorry to hear that.

That doctor needs to get into trouble. That is seriously terrible he didn't tell her.

I bet you could sue and then be able to pay off the medical bills with it. Or the hospital might get rid of the fees.

KytchynWitche · July 2014

larrygaga said:

I'm sorry to hear that.

That doctor needs to get into trouble. That is seriously terrible he didn't tell her.

I bet you could sue and then be able to pay off the medical bills with it. Or the hospital might get rid of the fees.

Thankfully all her medical bills are covered by my dad's medical policy, so at least we don't have that worry. But I am definitely going to talk to some lawyer buddies of mine about what recourse we have. I really don't think it's acceptable that he kept that information from her, even if he thought it would stress her out to hear it.

Sugargirl1019 · July 2014

I'm so sorry to hear this. /hugs

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · July 2014

I am so sorry to hear about all of this. I cannot believe that any doctor would do this. That's just terrible!

Positive thoughts to you and your mother.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

Sending thoughts and hugs.

KytchynWitche · July 2014

UPDATE: I spoke to my mom very briefly yesterday. She doesn't want me to come up right now, so I'm going to sit tight and wait for her to tell me she needs me. Her sister is there, and apparently taking pretty good care of her, and her BFF has offered to go through any time she needs her. Also my brother and sister still live in the area, so I'm sure she's well looked after. I still want to see her and be with her, but I'm going to respect her wishes.

First chemo session is today.

kmmssg · July 2014

I am so sorry you are all going through this.

What just BAFFLES me is the doctor not telling her she has cancer. Soooo, doesn't that mean you have a person with cancer not receiving any kind of treatment during that time? This is one of the more bizarre things I have ever heard.

Many hugs and prayers for you, your mom, and all of her support peeps.

And I just got a very upsetting email

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