…and Guest question for the Etiquette ladies.

Re: …and Guest question for the Etiquette ladies.

• RebeccaFlower member

  

  July 2014

  It was rude that they didn't find out your FI's name, but works in your favor since you can bring anyone since they wrote 'guest.' They might be annoyed, but it's their problem.

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• hanjoy member

  

  July 2014

  Jean0715 said:

  I was invited to a wedding and the invitation was listed as Miss XXX and Guest. Now my FI will not be able to go, but I would like to still attend. Since it didn't list his name and only said "Guest" does that mean that I can bring my sister?

  
  

  Its a 2 hour drive and an over night stay for me. I will only know one or two people at the wedding. My sister has met the groom a few times before. I have never met the bride and neither has my sister. I don't want to be tacky and side eyed. I figured who better place to ask than you ladies. 

  
  

  Thanks in advance. 

  
  

  I'm not sure what proper etiquette states but the fact that they wrote "guest" rather than writing out your FI's name is not okay. 

  
  

  So the bride and groom must have meant that you can bring whoever you want since they couldn't take the 30 seconds it would have taken find out FI's name. 

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• emmyg65 member

  

  July 2014

  Yep! Since they wrote "and guest," you can bring anyone you want.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  July 2014

  If you really truly want to throw them a bone, you can ask, but they gave you a "guest" and that vagueness works to your benefit.
  
  This is why I threw a small hissy when I caught my mom writing "and guest" to my friends with live-in boyfriends. I didn't ask them exactly how those men would like to be addressed just to put it in writing that they didn't actually matter.
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  July 2014

  The best thing to do is ask. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• April192002 member

  

  July 2014

  If the couple doesn't take the time to figure out FI's name and writes "and guest," you're free to invite whoever you want, but not someone that might upset the bride or groom. I will always be respectful enough not to bring one of their exs or someone they had a horrible falling out with.

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• Jean0715 member

  

  July 2014

  Great! Thank you all! I hope you all had an amazing 4th of July!

  
  

  My Blog

  
  

  
  

  

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• mysticl member

  

  July 2014

  April192002 said:

  If the couple doesn't take the time to figure out FI's name and writes "and guest," you're free to invite whoever you want, but not someone that might upset the bride or groom. I will always be respectful enough not to bring one of their exs or someone they had a horrible falling out with.

  Maybe they did it on purpose so she would feel free to bring someone else if her FI couldn't/didn't want to attend. 

  

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  July 2014

  Have you sent back the RSVP yet? If you already sent it back with your FI name, but now he can't come, you need to call to ask if it's ok. If you haven't sent it back yet, you can bring anyone you want since your invitation said "and guest".

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• doeydo member

  

  July 2014

  mysticl said:

  April192002 said:

  If the couple doesn't take the time to figure out FI's name and writes "and guest," you're free to invite whoever you want, but not someone that might upset the bride or groom. I will always be respectful enough not to bring one of their exs or someone they had a horrible falling out with.

  Maybe they did it on purpose so she would feel free to bring someone else if her FI couldn't/didn't want to attend. 

  Hmm, I would still invite the SO by name and if for some reason I thought one might not be able to come, I might include a note or something saying that they can bring someone else in case one can't make it.  

  
  

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• Simply Fated member

  

  July 2014

  I remember talking to my friend about this, regarding an event we were invited to. Her take on it was, it's implied. "Of course they mean for you to bring your boyfriend. It's implied." No, no it's not implied. It's literally not implied. And why would there need to be an implication? If you mean for me to bring my boyfriend, invite my boyfriend. You know his name. I've been with him for 9 (8 at the time) years, for heavens sake.
  And guest implies the person is interchangeable. It literally means you can bring a guest. Because no guest is specified, you can bring what ever guest you want.
  
  Having said that, I doubt the couple that invited us intended I use the "and guest" for anyone but my boyfriend. To them, it was implied. I do not understand why anyone would resort to "implying" when they either know or can very easily find out, a person's significant other's name.
  
  
  This turned into a rant of sorts. I'm sorry. OP, I would call and ask. It can't hurt to ask. If she says no, then you can look forward to at least seeing the two people you do know. GL!
  

  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  July 2014

  If you haven't RSVP'd yet, I'd RSVP for you and your sister.  Put her name on the return card and choose a dinner for her.  If the couple calls to ask, say that the "and guest" on the invite made you believe you could bring anyone and you are bringing your sister since your FI can't go.  If they didn't want you to bring your sister they should have properly addressed the envelopes.

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• ashleyep member

  

  July 2014

  mysticl said:

  April192002 said:

  If the couple doesn't take the time to figure out FI's name and writes "and guest," you're free to invite whoever you want, but not someone that might upset the bride or groom. I will always be respectful enough not to bring one of their exs or someone they had a horrible falling out with.

  Maybe they did it on purpose so she would feel free to bring someone else if her FI couldn't/didn't want to attend. 

  This was the logic my cousins used for their weddings when they both sent out invites with "and guest." "Well you can bring whomever you want, not just bf/gf" "well what if they break up?" Of course they didn't invite married people as "and guest." I texted my cousins and said "hey, I know your invite says so and so, but feel free to bring whomever you want if he can't make it."

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  July 2014

  I'd address the envelopes with the names of both persons in the relationship, then if my friend RSVP'd for just herself, I'd call her up and let her know she could bring any guest if her boyfriend couldn't make it. I wouldn't start with that assumption at the beginning.

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