We got engaged a month ago and my parents offered to throw us an engagement party in their backyard in August which we are VERY excited about! My mom, however, who would be doing most of the planning, has been vacationing in Europe for the last two weeks and will not be back until July, leaving me to handle many of the planning details. I agreed to do so cause it meant that I could pick out invitations I liked, food from the restaurant I like, decorate how I like, etc. However, since its not my money, I feel uncomfortable just booking things like tent rentals and caterers without consulting her first, which has been very difficult to do from across the world. The invitations went out on Monday and we expect to start receiving RSVPs as soon as today so I've been trying to get basic quotes on tent rentals, caters, etc. and send any questions I have back to her. Now she's freaking out about how much this is going to cost her and how many people will be coming. The guest list is up to 100 people and that's largely in part because I was told that my parent's friends -- 26 of them -- needed to be invited in addition to our two families and close friends. This is a party being thrown for me (although I am paying for some of it just out of ease with her being out of the country) and I am starting to feel like I am planning the whole thing AND getting crap for it.
I suppose that isn't so much a question but a rant but I do have some insights I would love from those who have thrown engagement parties, since my mom seems unable to provide me with insight:
-I plan on catering by tray not by person, but is there a benchmark for how much per person/per tray should be ordered?
-is it tacky to ask friends/family to help make some desserts to cut down on the cost of buying from an expensive bakery? if we offer to repay their supplies?
-how can I convince my mom we don't need a porta potty in the backyard?!
Thanks for enduring