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Wedding Invitations & Paper
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Invitations / RSVPs / Save the Dates??

NygirlaNygirla member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Ok so I'm a newly engaged and have no idea what order these things go in. Our wedding is scheduled for August 8th 2015 and I want to get a rough estimate of how many people we will be having so I want to send something informal like an RSVP card then once I get those back send the formal wedding invitation and finally the Save the date about 6 months beforehand. Is this a good idea? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
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Re: Invitations / RSVPs / Save the Dates??

  • NygirlaNygirla member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Also, about 40% of our guests will be traveling from out of town so I want to give them enough notice to plan accordingly..
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Nygirla said:
    Ok so I'm a newly engaged and have no idea what order these things go in. Our wedding is scheduled for August 8th 2015 and I want to get a rough estimate of how many people we will be having so I want to send something informal like an RSVP card then once I get those back send the formal wedding invitation and finally the Save the date about 6 months beforehand. Is this a good idea? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
    Yeah this is not how you go about things.  You need to set a budget and then determine a guest list that you can host appropriately within that budget.  Then you send out STDs approximately 8-12 months before your wedding date.  Then at the 6-8 week mark you send your invites to everyone on your guest list (if you send a person a STD they must receive an invitation regardless).  Then you wait for your RSVPs.

    Getting a soft count with informal RSVPs a year or more out is just pointless.  People's plans change and most people are not able to determine if they can get off of work or not that far in advance.  Hell I barely know what I am doing next month let alone a year from now.

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its

    aug 2015 a long was off.  In that amount of time people can get pregnant, get married, move, take a different job, get sick, whatever.  Some cases it will cause them go from a yes to a no.   Other cases those changes can go from a no to a yes..   You just do not know.

    Sorry, but follow Maggie's advice.  Few people outside of maybe your immediate family are going to be able to commit (either way) that far out to give you the numbers you want.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Send your Save the Dates six months before your wedding.  Do not expect replies.
    Send your invitations and RSVP reply cards eight weeks before your wedding.  Keep track of replies.
    When you are planning your wedding, be prepared for 100% attendance.  This will probably not happen, but if it does, you need to be able to deal with it.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    What PPs said.  Plus, you do not have to send save the dates to everyone you are planning to invite, however, you must send invitations to everyone that you sent a save the date to.  
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    No. Follow the advice of PPs. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Set your budget first, then research venues, caterers, etc. to figure out the balance between what you want vs. what you can afford. Then, based on those things, figure out how many people you can afford to invite. Don't invite more people than you can afford to host and don't have a B-list. Like ever. I know you didn't bring it up, but some people assume it's kosher and it's pretty much the furthest thing from kosher.

    Save the Dates go out 6-9 months before the wedding. Invitations go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding with formal RSVP requested 2 weeks before the event (ask your caterer when they need your final numbers). Unfortunately, you can't "test the waters" so to speak without throwing everything off and coming off as way too controlling.
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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    It sounds like wedding planning might be hard for you or you haven't been to many weddings lately.  You may want to get a book/binder that walks you through this or a planner ASAP.  I take for granted that I knew the order of things--save the dates, invites, etc.  If you don't have a trusted person to walk you through everything from the invite process to selecting venue/caterer/bar service, you really need to get yourself the help to make this go smoothly.  Perhaps a relative has been married recently you can ask if you don't want a planner's help?  If not, definitely get a book.  Some are in binder form where you can tuck in your contracts as you get them done.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2014
    1.  Set your budget.  How much money do you have to spend on your wedding?
    2.  Draw up a guest list.  List everyone you would like to invite to your wedding, including FI's family.
    3.  Now you can think about planning a wedding that suits your budget and your guest list.  Afternoon ceremonies with cake and punch receptions are the cheapest.  Evening ceremonies with full dinner receptions and open bar are the most expensive. If you are Catholic, talk to your priest about arrangements that must be made to have a Catholic wedding.
    4.  Start looking at venues that fit your BUDGET and your GUEST LIST.  Do not consider any venue that does not meet this requirement, no matter how beautiful!

    Helpful hints:  Do not choose any bridesmaids or groomsmen until 9 month before your wedding.  We see a lot of drama about this from brides who jumped ahead too soon.
     
    Weddings are not about being perfect.  Weddings are not about some childhood fantasy you had when you were 8.  Weddings are about planning a nice event to celebrate on the day of your marriage.  They are about families coming together - even the ones you don't like!  They are about treating your wedding guests with courtesy, thoughtfulness, and consideration because they took time out of their busy lives to come and witness your marriage.  Courtesy is required - big, pouffy white dresses are not.

    Good luck with your planning!
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