You Really Think That's Happening? Seriously?

7651arty · July 2014

Here's one for ya- FSIL told me she's planning to pull our wedding photographer aside WHILE WE'RE DOING FAMILY PHOTOS AFTER THE CEREMONY to take photos of her, FBIL & 2 sons (the only kids allowed) because she wants a new photo for her online work profile and doesn't want the hassle of taking family photos later on for Christmas cards....

Wtf?? No, Miss Moocher, I am not dropping a month's salary on these guys so you can save the $150 you spend on photos each year. Photogs will be specifically instructed to NOT take pics of just her family.

I didn't even reply, just walked away. What is wrong with people??

zitiqueen · July 2014

7651arty said:

Here's one for ya- FSIL told me she's planning to pull our wedding photographer aside WHILE WE'RE DOING FAMILY PHOTOS AFTER THE CEREMONY to take photos of her, FBIL & 2 sons (the only kids allowed) because she wants a new photo for her online work profile and doesn't want the hassle of taking family photos later on for Christmas cards.... Wtf?? No, Miss Moocher, I am not dropping a month's salary on these guys so you can save the $150 you spend on photos each year. Photogs will be specifically instructed to NOT take pics of just her family. I didn't even reply, just walked away. What is wrong with people??

Stuck in the box:

Yeah, photographers are used to being asked this. Alert yours to the possibility and let them handle it.

luckya23 · July 2014

Does it actually cost more?

I was hoping to ask the photographer to take shots of the different family units!

JasperandOpal · July 2014

Was she asking or telling? Its rude to just tell you she plans on using your photographer that way.

That said, I don't know if I would battle her over this unless she grabs the photographer and commences to have a 15-20 minute family photo shoot. At my sisters wedding a month ago I really wanted a photo with my cousin and aunt that I don't get to see very often, the photographer took the picture, it took about 30 seconds and then the photographer was back to taking pictures of everyone. The photographer isn't just there to record the newlyweds in my experience. They are there to record the event and the people in attendance. All wedding photos I have seen have included shots of individual families, or groups of friends etc.

The photographer is also usually pretty good at gauging the situation and will realize when they are being exploited by an individual. I don't know that I would tell the photographer not to take any pictures of the family unit but I do think it is totally fair for you to tell the photographer that is FSIL tries to turn it into a personal family photoshoot, the photographer should move along to other people. Also, I am not sure how FSIL thinks she will get ahold of these pictures because the photographer delivers them to you so its really in your hands if you decide to give any good shots over to her.

holyguacamole79 · July 2014

Yeah, that's tacky of her. I think my brother got a nice pic with his wife and family, but that was at the reception. If she brings it up again, I would let her know that she can ask the photographer to take a picture of the family at the reception. I'd also calmly remind her that you are on a schedule to keep things moving between the ceremony and reception and it doesn't allow for extra pictures at that time & in that location.

7651arty · July 2014

Looking back at my OP, I wasn't very detailed. She TOLD me that my photog would be taking individual shots as well as several family shots of FBIL, nephews, and herself. And they need to be posed, as in, a group shot of them sitting together in the grass, etc. NOT just a few snaps of her family enjoying the wedding together.

JasperandOpal · July 2014

Ridiculous. And I also missed the part where she wants to do it at the ceremony site during the planned pictures! Very rude. This is definitely something your photographer should be able to handle once you let them know of the issue.

7651arty · July 2014

@Kelani23‌, when I referred to price, I meant that she and her DH usually spend about $150 each fall for a quick family photo shoot- headshots and group pics for each family member. For her, doing her photos , apparently, while I'm standing around in a wedding gown and the rest of the family is standing around in formal wear waiting for her to finish up, is more acceptable than hiring her own photog on her own time. Also, they are more than able to afford the $150.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

Ummm yeah no. Sorry princess, hire your own photographer. I'm going to give my photog a list of various families/couples like "if you can get {these} people together in a nice snapshot, please do" but that won't be during the after-ceremony pictures! Awfully presumptuous for her to just announce that she plans on using your vendor that way.

blabla89 · July 2014

That is really rude. I would just make sure your photog is working from a shot list approved by you, and prepared to tell FSIL, "Nope, sorry, that's not on the shot list. Next!"

afox007 · July 2014

If telling her no doesn't work and she managed to poach the photographer for even a few shots, I vote you hold on to those photos or give her them with a huge watermark and charge her the $150.

erollis · July 2014

Um no. Like others said tell the photographer not to let them take the family, individual, and group photos of only their family.

Our photographer did this of as many people, couples, and groups as possible (wherever they were sitting/standing at the time) during the wedding. I loved this about our photographer.

And $150 for family photos is more then reasonable. We are getting photos done this year and it's more than double that cost.

slothiegal · July 2014

sarawifenow · July 2014

I vote you have your photog give her this if she comes up to her and then continue on as if nothing happened:

lyndausvi · July 2014

Ahhhhh, I had a section of the tent blocked off for people to be able to take formal pictures with the photographers. I had the photographers (two) for 10 hours and had some 1800 shots. I didn't need 1800 shots of just DH and myself. I encouraged the photographer to take shots of families if they wanted. We got some great shots of guests.

Besides her being bossy about the situation I really don't see the big deal of families getting formal shot done.

I would just warn the photographer about her. Let him take a shot or 2, but he is the boss, not her. Meaning, he says the where and when and how many, not her.

Couggal12 · July 2014

Funny, when I was the MOH in my friend's wedding her photographer took tons of photos of me with my parents who were also invited to the wedding. I wouldn't call them professional shots or anything but, a lot of them were really cute. I wouldn't stress too much about, just give the photographer a heads up and let them handle it from there.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · July 2014

People can be really presumptuous. She is not paying for this service, so why does she think she has any right to demand the photographer's time, even if it is only briefly?

You're the one that gets the photos back and have the power to determine if they 'turned out' or not.

ETA: words are confusing so I fixed it.

7651arty · July 2014

I was pretty put off by it. Had she said, "Hey, mind if I ask photog for family group shot"? Of course! They will be encouraged to take pics of each family or whoever jumps in the shot...at cocktail hour or the reception. But, declaring your intent to take our photogs away from our wedding for at least 30 minutes for your own private photo shoot, while my new husband and I will be taking our first "married" pics together....I think not.

Emailing photog now.

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