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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Dates for FI's work friends?

This is just a thought because invitations haven't been sent yet. We're giving a plus one to just about everyone who is invited to the wedding.  The only people we were thinking about not inviting with dates is my fiance's work friends.  There are about 6 of them, none are in a relationship, and we thought we could invite them without a date since they'll all know each other. Is that okay to do or will it be offensive because everyone else is being invited with a plus one? These people get along really, really well and are friends outside of work.

Re: Dates for FI's work friends?

  • If someone isn't in a relationship, you're not obligated to extend a plus one. It's nice, but not necessary.

    If these people all know each other and they're not in relationships, I think it's fine to not extend a plus one. If you're doing assigned seating, I'd just seat them all at the same table.
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  • Why is almost everyone else getting a plus one but not them?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I'm trying to follow the invite in circles rules. The majority of our non-family guests are my fiance's college buddies, so I don't want to say some of them can have dates but not others. My friends are mostly in relationships. The work friends seemed like a category of friends that made sense to invite fewer people by not including dates. 
  • NymeruNymeru member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    While etiquette says that you may do this, I wouldn't personally, especially if you have room.  There would only be an extra 6 people if you allowed them to each have a +1.  If you can swing those extra people, it would be a very nice gesture on your part to let them have dates.  Ultimately it's up to you.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2014
    I think it's in poor taste to allow some people dates and others not. All significant others should be invited. When it comes to "dates" or "plus ones" I also think you should do all or none or some kind of more specific line like wedding party only. I don't think it's nice to say "college buddies can have plus ones but work friends can't."
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I agree that it's arbitrary in this case to invite some single people with dates and not others.
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  • Okay, thanks for the advice. I'll talk to FI about how he wants to handle it. 
  • I think it depends where the college is.  If FI's college buddies are traveling from OOT and his work buddies are not, it's nice to allow OOT guests a travel companion whereas locals wouldn't need one.

    If they're all local though I'd treat it the same and do an all or none on plus ones.
  • Are the college buddies traveling for the wedding, while the work friends are not? I think it's fine to draw that line--let people have a plus one if they're traveling so they don't have to travel and get a hotel room alone. 

    We decided we would offer a plus one to anyone who wouldn't really know anyone else at the wedding, and/or anyone who was traveling and didn't have extensive friends/family in the city. Turns out no one met these criteria for us! Everyone is in a group of friends or already in a couple, and a lot of my friends who are traveling used to live here so they know a ton of people and won't be getting a hotel anyway. 

    Obviously anyone in a relationship their SO is invited, by name. 
  • Eh I don't personally have a problem with drawing lines/circles/whatever shapes you want to call them for singles in this case, especially if they're all local and hang out together normally.

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  • edited July 2014
    I think it's fine to not give them dates. If you are have 8 or 10 people per table, plus ones would end up splitting the group. 

    I'd personally rather hangout with my friends at a wedding and hope to meet someone, than bring a random plus one. I've never understood people taking random plus ones to wedding...especially if it's a family member's wedding.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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