I think I posted earlier that my cat Buddy was sick.
Things got really bad, really fast and we made the decision to put Buddy down on Thursday.
Last Saturday we brought him in to our vet for his annual. We noticed he was dropping weight at a rapid rate in the past month and a half and we wanted to address that as well as any other issues we had. We had the resident cat vet do his exam and she decided that due to his weight to do a full blood panel, fecal analysis and urinalysis to see why he lost weight so fast. Upon further examination she was pretty certain that Buddy was a lot older than we thought (I thought he was 7 or 8, she says 10-12) so this may be an end of life thing.
So we waited until Monday to get the results. His blood panel was all out of whack. Due to that, she referred us to a veterinary radiologist in Middletown and FI (who was amazing during all of this) took the day off from work to drive Buddy up to Middletown for his ultrasound. We knew something was 100% wrong with Buddy when the ultrasound tech commented that he was so docile. Buddy was never docile with a vet, more violent than docile. He HATED the vet. The vet on duty gave FI the prelminary results stating there were nodules on his liver and pancreas but the radiologist would email the full report to my vet.
That afternoon, my vet called and determined along with the veterinary radiologist that there were hundreds of these nodules on his liver and pancreas indicating tumors. They believe that due to the type of tumor that can happen that these tumors produced insulin causing the fast weight loss. She suggested a biopsy and I declined, she agreed. I asked if Prednisone would be an option for weight gain since they use it in humans with cancer sometimes to promote weight gain. She said she would call some of her associates to see and would get back to me.
The vet called back later that night and said we could give Prednisone a try and the prescription was at the vet's office. She stated that even though this might help it'll give a false sense of recovery. I asked her what our options were and she told us they were 1) try the Prednisone 2) do nothing and let him die of natural causes or 3) put him down. I told her we would sleep on it and let her know what we would do.
FI and I cried and talked and cried some more. We didn't want to see Buddy in pain and agony and we didn't want to put off the inevitable. We decided at that point to put Buddy down. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make as a pet owner because to me, I would pay anything to have a healthy pet. Pancreatic cancer is a terrible disease for humans, I couldn't even imagine what it does to animals. He also lot a lot of his moxy and just wasn't the same cat anymore.
The next morning (Wednesday) FI called the vet and made Buddy's final appointment. They were able to get us with the vet that had been working with us for the past week even though she was in surgery all day. I had a feeling she made that happen. I appreciate her for that. That night we ordered pizza and wings and 99% of the time when we order wings, Buddy goes balistic and will grab the wings from the plate, growl at you for 2 minutes and run off with the wing. That night, he wasn't even interested in food.
Thursday, I went to work early and FI had the day off so he cleaned the house and spent some quality time with Buddy (all I know is that on Wednesday we had 4 hot dogs left in the fridge, and when I came back home from work there were 0, so I'm thinking Buddy's last meal was his favorite). When I got home from work I just petted him and spent some quality time with him. We drove to the vet and they took us in right away (which NEVER happens, they're always busy). Our vet came in, hugged us, told us we made the right decision and gave us the run-down on what's going to happen. When the vet reassured to me that we're making the right choice, it made me feel so much better, but still sad. But we were talking and she said the only reason she became a vet is that people could make the choice of not having animals suffer from diseases such as cancer. As a medical doctor, you can't counsel patients on that, and it sucks to see people suffer that way.
After I said my goodbyes to Buddy, I thought I was strong enough to be in the room, but I couldn't. The vet reassured me that he wouldn't know either way, but FI stayed in the room. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would. Seriously, by the time I went back to the desk to pay, I was fine and laughing with the front desk receptionist. I guess seeing him this way the past week prepared me for the inevitable.
Later that night FI and I did about 5 shots each for Buddy and had a few drinks. Weirdly enough, neither of us had a hangover the next day.
Buuuuuuuuut, on a happy note, FI contacted some shelters to see if they had any kittens for adoption and for some reason we really clicked with one shelter in Newtown. We were "screened" for two kittens that are in foster care now that from what the foster mom has told me, they're the "cream of the crop". Will they ever be Buddy? Nope. But will the be a new chapter in our lives? Absolutely because I've never had a kitten before (halp). We're going up there tonight after I get out of work to meet them and hopefully we'll bring them home after they're neutered.
So even though it was sad to put Buddy down, I'm glad I'm opening my doors to cats that need homes. If I had it my way, I would finish our basement and turn it into a cat sanctuary and have like 5 or 6 cats, but FI turned that idea down.
Also, I don't really believe in heaven, hell, etc but I do believe that when you see things that you've never seen before it's a sign from someone deceased knowing that they're still thinking about you. On our way to NY, we have to go through this po-dunk town in Connecticut to get to another highway. While driving through, there was a man fondling himself while waving on the side of the street. I've never seen anything like that before, and I think it's a sign from Buddy in his own orange-cat weird way.
CN: we had to put Buddy down, but are potentially adopting new kittens.