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Ceremony-Reception Gap

peachy13peachy13 member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
edited July 2014 in Snarky Brides
There is the dreaded gap in between the ceremony and reception. Two hours. I'm a bridesmaid and lovely FI is my date. He is not in the wedding party and does not know anyone besides me and the bride & groom. So now he has to find an activity (aka- find a bar) for two hours.

Why do people do this. Why do people think this is okay. 

Would love to hear some of your opinions on the gap.
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Re: Ceremony-Reception Gap

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I hate fucking gaps. They are rude and self-centered because the couple only gives a crap about themselves and their wedding vision and not their guests comfort.

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    goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    You'll find the opinion on gaps around here is quite strong.  As in "Hell to the NO!" strong.  

    Personally, I am against gaps.
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    JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ugh. Gaps are the worst.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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    monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Is the wedding party scheduled to do something for that period of time? Can you not join him during the gap? Either way... GAPS SUCK. No excuses.

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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Gaps suck.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    I am in the same situation... 3 hour gap..FI in the wedding party and I'm his date.

    Is it rude of me to not attend the wedding, but show up for the reception?

    I'm really curious since I have nothing to do if this is appropriate.
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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I hate gaps. With a burning passion. Like flames shooting up the side of my face.

    DH and I did not have a first look. We didn't really get many pictures with our respective families and attendants before the wedding. We started pictures immediately after the receiving line. We were able to get hundreds of pictures done in 2 different spots at our venue and still be there for the majority of our cocktail hour.

    Because things with the ceremony went a few minutes faster than we anticipated, there was a small gap of about 10 minutes between the end of the receiving line and the time the caterer would be ready for the cocktail hour (15 minutes ahead of the actual cocktail hour start time because the caterer is well prepared). I cannot express how guilty I felt about even a gap that tiny. Most of our guests took that time to sign our guest book, flip through the photo album we had out, use the restrooms, and/or mingle with other guests as most people showed up only a few minutes before our ceremony started (I guess they thought I was going to start late?). Still, I felt bad that the food was not completely ready for them.

    That being said, I have no idea what DH and I would have done if we had a big gap built in there. I mean, how many pictures could our photographer possibly take of us? They had taken thousands of them that night, and I'm going to lay down money that the best shots are not going to be the planned, posed ones. I can't imagine making my nearest and dearest have to entertain themselves for hours because I need more photos of myself.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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    NymeruNymeru member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    When you guys mention "gaps", do you mean any time between the ceremony and dinner starting, or just unhosted time?  We're having our cocktail hour begin immediately following the ceremony, but will be using that time for photos.  Does this count as a "gap"?
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    LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Nymeru said:
    When you guys mention "gaps", do you mean any time between the ceremony and dinner starting, or just unhosted time?  We're having our cocktail hour begin immediately following the ceremony, but will be using that time for photos.  Does this count as a "gap"?
    No, that isn't a gap. A gap is when some people will have their ceremony, for example, end at 3 and then the cocktail hour starts at 7. So their guests are stuck wandering around in nice clothes looking for something to do. 
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    purplepinkcupcake said:
    I am in the same situation... 3 hour gap..FI in the wedding party and I'm his date.

    Is it rude of me to not attend the wedding, but show up for the reception?

    I'm really curious since I have nothing to do if this is appropriate.
    It's rude to only attend a wedding reception and skip the ceremony unless there's some kind of unavoidable conflict and/or you've been transparent with the B&G about it. 

    Generally, I don't think you should battle rudeness with rudeness, but this boils down to a simple matter of convenience. If the B&G don't care about inconveniencing a ton of people, I have no qualms with compensating for them and choosing one event that is more convenient for me. If it makes more sense to attend the ceremony, great. If the reception makes more sense, I'll do that. Sorry, but when B&Gs have multi-hour, unhosted gaps, they need to accept that people will do this.
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    melbensomelbenso member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I'd tell him to skip the ceremony, hang out home/the hotel, and just join you for the reception. If someone builds in a 2 hour gap, IMO, they are telling their guests that they shouldn't feel obligated to attend both the ceremony and the reception.
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    peachy13peachy13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    The wedding party will be taking photos during the 2 hour gap, and then the cocktail hour starts but I was told we would be doing MORE photos. I can hardly contain my joy.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    brideloveshergroom said:
    The wedding party will be taking photos during the 2 hour gap, and then the cocktail hour starts but I was told we would be doing MORE photos. I can hardly contain my joy.

    FI does know the bride & groom pretty well and he'll likely attend the ceremony. The bride even asked me what my FI plans to do during the gap. WELL if it were a normal wedding he'd be elbow deep in a cheese and cracker tray at your reception venue but I guess he'll have to drink warm beers in his hotel room like everyone else now, THANKS.


    FFS that many hours of pictures is so not necessary!!!  I don't know what brides/grooms who plan that many hours of pictures are thinking.  I mean are they seriously going to print out every single picture and frame them for their home?  They will spend a few months looking at them and maybe have an album made and then after the first years those suckers will rarely be looked at again.

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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    beethery said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    I hate gaps. With a burning passion. Like flames shooting up the side of my face.

    image

    DH and I did not have a first look. We didn't really get many pictures with our respective families and attendants before the wedding. We started pictures immediately after the receiving line. We were able to get hundreds of pictures done in 2 different spots at our venue and still be there for the majority of our cocktail hour.

    Because things with the ceremony went a few minutes faster than we anticipated, there was a small gap of about 10 minutes between the end of the receiving line and the time the caterer would be ready for the cocktail hour (15 minutes ahead of the actual cocktail hour start time because the caterer is well prepared). I cannot express how guilty I felt about even a gap that tiny. Most of our guests took that time to sign our guest book, flip through the photo album we had out, use the restrooms, and/or mingle with other guests as most people showed up only a few minutes before our ceremony started (I guess they thought I was going to start late?). Still, I felt bad that the food was not completely ready for them.

    That being said, I have no idea what DH and I would have done if we had a big gap built in there. I mean, how many pictures could our photographer possibly take of us? They had taken thousands of them that night, and I'm going to lay down money that the best shots are not going to be the planned, posed ones. I can't imagine making my nearest and dearest have to entertain themselves for hours because I need more photos of myself.
    FTFY
    Have I ever mentioned how much I love you?
    ~*~*~*~*~

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