Should I let my fiance's female friend be in the wedding party?

Re: Should I let my fiance's female friend be in the wedding party?

• MobKaz member

  

  July 2014

  You don't need to fill the spot. Having uneven sides is not a big deal. Have groomsmen 4 and 5 escort BM 4. If your FI felt that his female friend was close enough to him to include in the wedding party, he should have asked her to be on HIS side from the get-go. To only think of her now as a replacement/after thought tells me she is hardly in the forefront of his brain.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  July 2014

  You're fine not asking your FI's friend to be a bridesmaid, especially if he previously pursued a relationship with her. But you don't need even sides. Just leave things alone. It's okay if you only have 4 bridesmaids and he has 5 groomsmen.

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• mysticl member

  

  July 2014

  There are two separate issues here. The first is the missing bridesmaid. Don't replace her. Just let one bridesmaid walk with two groomsman or have them all walk alone alternating male female. The second issue is his friendship with this woman and how you feel about it. If she brings up feelings of insecurity and jealousy you really need to figure out why you feel this way. And then you need to talk to your FI about it.

  

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• slothiegal member

  

  July 2014

  mysticl said:

  There are two separate issues here. The first is the missing bridesmaid. Don't replace her. Just let one bridesmaid walk with two groomsman or have them all walk alone alternating male female. The second issue is his friendship with this woman and how you feel about it. If she brings up feelings of insecurity and jealousy you really need to figure out why you feel this way. And then you need to talk to your FI about it.

  Ya...I think the uneven sides issue is an easy enough one and has been addressed.  But I would really encourage you taking some time on this second issue.  I've been in the same position; don't just ignore it/bottle it up.  It'll either come out in an ugly way or you'll just drive yourself crazy.  (FI and I had a conversation early on in our relationship about this particular girl in his life....long story short, it a) felt much better clearing the air and b) she's now one of my best friends and bridesmaids--because I WANTED her to be one.)

  

  
  

  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  July 2014

  You do not "fill spots" in a wedding party.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• zitiqueen member

  

  July 2014

  klcarendt said:

  Hi all! I need to get some opinions about this. My fiance has 5 grooms men. One of my bridesmaids backed out and now I only have 4. I don't really have any other friends/family I can ask to fill the spot. My fiance has a female friend he talks to from time to time. I'm not completely comfortable with the friendship. At one point, my fiance was fervently pursuing a relationship with this girl. Nothing romantic ever became of it, however they still remain friends. He has suggested we ask her to be a bridesmaid. I told him that I am not comfortable with this, and he understands. She will not be in the wedding. My question is am I wrong for feeling this way? Am I letting feelings of jealousy and insecurity cloud my judgement? What do you think?

  
  

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  July 2014

  You're not wrong to feel that way. You can feel jealous and insecure certainly, but I suggest you and FI talk about his relationship and your feelings.

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