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Wedding Woes

Bridal Shower RSVP Rant...

My bridal shower is Labor Day weekend and my stepmom had sent out invitation about 2 weeks ago. Anyways I of course expect that some people won’t be able to make it. Two of my bridesmaids won’t be able to make it which I am bummed about but I understand as both live in different states. My FH cousin will be moving to Texas in August so she won’t be able to attend as well. However I am pretty upset about a friend that just told me this morning that she can’t make it. She had texted me a few days after getting the invitation that she would be coming! Apparently she found out that she has a family picnic to go to. What bothers me about this is 1. It’s my FH best friend’s girlfriend 2. I just don’t see why she can’t try to attend both. I’m pretty sure my shower starts a 1pm.

Just a little backstory. This friend and I were pretty close, then 2 summers ago she broke up with FH’s best friend out of the blue for stupid reasons that I can’t even begin to explain. Wrote a letter and left it on his car one night. I never agreed with it but supported FH best friend (We've known each other since elementary school) and tried my best to comfort him. She sorta went her own way during this time and we didn’t talk as much. But one of the 1st times after they broke up we were at a party with all of our friends and I go to say hi and she barely even acknowledges me! I was pretty upset as I thought are friendship shouldn’t have been affected by the breakup. Well 3-4 months later they get back together.  And since then are relationship hasn’t been the same. I get things being a little weird since they brokeup and got back together but I feel like at this point that we are way past that. My FH thinks that she just has some social anxiety or issues with being around people but we have known each other now for 4 years! Sorry for the long rant. Just need to put this some where…<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

Re: Bridal Shower RSVP Rant...

  • My bridal shower is Labor Day weekend and my stepmom had sent out invitation about 2 weeks ago. Anyways I of course expect that some people won’t be able to make it. Two of my bridesmaids won’t be able to make it which I am bummed about but I understand as both live in different states. My FH cousin will be moving to Texas in August so she won’t be able to attend as well. However I am pretty upset about a friend that just told me this morning that she can’t make it. She had texted me a few days after getting the invitation that she would be coming! Apparently she found out that she has a family picnic to go to. What bothers me about this is 1. It’s my FH best friend’s girlfriend 2. I just don’t see why she can’t try to attend both. I’m pretty sure my shower starts a 1pm.

    Just a little backstory. This friend and I were pretty close, then 2 summers ago she broke up with FH’s best friend out of the blue for stupid reasons that I can’t even begin to explain. Wrote a letter and left it on his car one night. I never agreed with it but supported FH best friend (We've known each other since elementary school) and tried my best to comfort him. She sorta went her own way during this time and we didn’t talk as much. But one of the 1st times after they broke up we were at a party with all of our friends and I go to say hi and she barely even acknowledges me! I was pretty upset as I thought are friendship shouldn’t have been affected by the breakup. Well 3-4 months later they get back together.  And since then are relationship hasn’t been the same. I get things being a little weird since they brokeup and got back together but I feel like at this point that we are way past that. My FH thinks that she just has some social anxiety or issues with being around people but we have known each other now for 4 years! Sorry for the long rant. Just need to put this some where…

    your problem was issuing invitations when you should have issued subpoenas. when people saw invitations to come to a party, they assumed they had some choice in the matter. 
  • @mrs.conn23 - great minds think alike. 
  • What MrsConn said.

    And reality check. Your friendship DID change. Ramrodding things back to status quo only makes you and her resentful.
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  • First of all, an invitation is not a summons.  

    Secondly, I'll be completely honest and say that I'd likely miss a shower that was held on a holiday weekend, especially Labor Day as it's our family tradition to camp at DH's uncle's family farm. 

    Third, your relationship with her may 'not be the same' because you made it awkward and weird when you disagreed with her breaking up with her boyfriend and thought her reasons were 'stupid'.  She may no longer trust you because you tried to insert yourself into a situation that you had no business being involved. So yeah, her picnic plans may mean more to her than your shower.  
     
     
    Well like I said I understand people not being able to make it. I did note that she had already told me previously she was coming. Which is why I am more upset she told me she cant come now. I get labor day is a busy travel weekend. If I wasn't having my shower & bachelorrete party that weekend I'm sure we'd be going away.
     
    As for the breakup thing. TBH i kept those feelings to myself and my FH. Since we both felt the same way about it. The only opinion I ever expressed to her boyfriend was that I thought it was immature that she left a note on his car to breakup with him. We are in our mid 20's... I didnt insert myself into the situation or anything along those lines. The day after we found out FH best friend came to us to talk about it.

     

  • ftrMrsO is this your BFF?  ;-)

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  • scribe95 said:
    If you "understand people not being able to make it" then why are you annoyed with her? She has a family picnic. She can't come.

    I think its more that she told me should would be coming and all the sudden she cant. Just disapointed.

     

  • scribe95 said:
    If you "understand people not being able to make it" then why are you annoyed with her? She has a family picnic. She can't come.

    I think its more that she told me should would be coming and all the sudden she cant. Just disapointed.
    you're 2 months out. this isn't exactly a last minute change. 

    she may not have looked at the calendar/date before she told you she'd be there - and later realized that it coincided with her family event. 

    Considering the whole history that you posted, it doesn't seem like a huge surprise that she'd decide to pass on this. maybe she's just not that into you. 
  • 0Face0Face member
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    MNNEBride said:
    ftrMrsO is this your BFF?  ;-)

    I was wondering the same dang thing.  Thank Jeebus, no.  :)
  • Family picnics on holiday weekends trump showers for me every single time.  Having the shower on Labor Day Weekend is probably going to affect your attendance negatively - it is the last long weekend of the Summer and I am not breaking it up for a shower.

    If you understand some people might not make it why is this such a big deal?

  • I have already vowed to skip any and all wedding related things on labor day. I was a bridesmaid in the last two labor days for two different weddings. I refuse to ever give up my beach weekend again. It's so annoying to have weddings on holiday weekends. I feel bad because I should go to the wedding, however I don't get much time off with FI and we want to go out on the water. I'm sure that is exactly how your friend feels.


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