Multicultural wedding - need advices!

Re: Multicultural wedding - need advices!

• vulpiepop member

  

  July 2014

  Weddings here range from small to big! Many weddings at large but there are smaller weddings too. Mine will be around 30 people, maybe less. Food and drink is usually enough to entertain people as they mingle although the mingling part may be difficult for some guests with the language barrier. Most of the weddings I've been to had only food and drink and good music and they were enough to entertain the guests. Some of the weddings I've been to had dancing as well and it's pretty common here. A dance floor is an option.

  
  

  Usually a DJ/MC will announce things like the first dance and cake cutting but I've also seen it where the Best Man does the announcements for couples who didn't have a DJ, MC or band that could do it; I think that's what you were talking about as the entertainer right?

  
  

  I think if you just have music playing throughout and good food and drink, it's enough. You can have a dance floor too or a band that's entertaining to watch, but I don't think it's absolutely necessary.

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• mysticl member

  

  July 2014

  Like the previous poster said the DJ usually handles announcements regarding spotlight dances, cake cutting, toasts, etc.  Since you do have a language barrier maybe see if you can find someone who speaks both Russian and English. Or if the person you hire only speaks Russian see if an English speaking guest would be willing to co-announce so everyone knows what is going on.  

  
  

  I wouldn't be worried about awkward silence at dinner.  I just think you'll see a fairly obvious divide between the two sides.  And just maybe your guests will start giving each other language lessons.  

  

  Report0 Reply
• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  July 2014

  SheileLori said:

  My fiance is American, I'm Russian and we're currently living in Saint Petesburg, Russia. The wedding will be here in St Petersburg. We're not having too many guests, just 30-40 people, and since FI's family is pretty big the majority of our guests will be American (which is quite surprising for a such destination wedding, I know). My FI speaks very good Russian, my English is decent enough to at least understand people and be understood myself (I hope so). Few guests from my side including my dad speak English pretty well, FI's side doesn't know any Russian.
  
  So I'm freaking out about the reception. FI's been to only 1 wedding in his life and can't really tell me much about how a reception usually goes. As I understood from his explanations and from threads here there's not much going on in terms of different activities or entertainments - good dinner, nice music and chatting with other guests considered enough fun. But here in Russia we have different tradition. Usually there's a hired person, sort of entertainer or toastmaker, who leads the wedding, announces toasts, things like cake cutting or first dance and makes jokes and tries to entertain people. It's considered that a wedding without that person will be boring and awkward. I personally don't like these entertainers and would prefer to not have one at my wedding, but I'm just super worried that people can actually be bored. And I'm afraid of awkward silence during the dinner. The fact that half of the guests don't speak each other's language doesn't help at all.
  
  In terms of the entertainment part we're going to have: nice dinner in a very fancy restaurant and an open bar; saxophonist+DJ for music; dancefloor if somebody would want to dance. Also there will be the first dance, toasts from the families and friends, cake cutting and some Russian traditions.
  
  So my main questions are:
  
  Would it be enough for our guests not to get bored? If this is standard at Russian weddings, your family will probably notice a void. Americans will not be bored without this person. You just need to consider how your family will react. If you/they are ok with it, don't have this person. If you want this person, do it. I'd just tell them to stay away from being too talkative - just stick to announcing the schedule, etc.
  Who announces things like first dance at American weddings? The DJ - I was thinking this as you described this person's role. In America, the DJ does pretty much all of this (except the jokes).
  What else can we add as an entertainment if needed? Do you have photo booths in Russia? That's something that requires no language and is very entertaining. Also, food and alcohol.
  If you have by any chance any suggestions or ideas how the language problem can be solved, I'll be very grateful!
  
  You know, I really want to respect American traditions and etiquette and want our American guests to feel as comfortable as possible. And as I learned from this forum your weddings are usually big - 100-200 guests. And I can see how that amount of people can be entertained by just food and drinks. But how does it usually go with a small wedding like ours? Maybe someone has an experience of going to one or even having one?
  
  I would appreciate any comments and suggestions!

  First of all, your English is VERY good and everything you write was perfectly understandable. Be confident - it makes a world of difference!

  
  

  My cousin married an Algerian guy. They got married in America and a TON of his relatives came here. There were about 2 people in his family who spoke English. No one in our family spoke French or Arabic. They had awesome music and it was very surprising how well people communicated - non-verbally of course. 

  
  

  It sounds like you're trying to have a very American wedding as a comfort to your guests. Keep in mind your family and your heritage, too! If his family is willing to travel to St. Petersburg for a wedding, they're probably adventurous enough to understand it's not going to be the typical American wedding and they're probably really excited about that.

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• ohannabelle member

  

  July 2014

  Your English is very good, don't worry.

  
  

  And very much what SouthernBelle said- if a family is adventurous enough to travel across the world for a wedding, they won't be expecting an American style wedding, and would very much enjoy the more Russian traditions and experience. (I would honestly be really excited about it, and looking forward to the different traditions.)

  
  

  We honestly don't have a lot of entertainment at weddings- a good mix of food, drink, friends and family are entertainment enough, and it sounds like you wouldn't miss the announcer a bit. If your family really really want this, maybe a compromise- have one for only a little while, or something like.

  
  

  You write very well- maybe when your guests arrive, you and your fiancé could have a nice card/welcome letter for your guests, explaining any wedding traditions that your guests may not be familiar with, so that they can appreciate them more. 

  
  

  If you have friends or family that speak English, see if it would be possible to seat them near non Russian speakers, to help out with quick answers or explanations, just in case. 

  
  

  If there's any possibility, it would be a wonderful thing to find a DJ who could speak both languages. 

  It sounds fun and interesting! I'd like to hear an update, to hear how it all turns out.

  Report0 Reply
• SheileLori member

  

  July 2014

  Thank you so much ladies!
  I guess we'll go with food, drinks and music then!
  And also thank you for encouraging me to add some Russian traditions. I actually was a little worried about that, just wasn't sure that people would enjoy some weird Russian stuff But I guess you're right, since they're willing to travel that far they will be interested in different cultural things. And we actually have some really cute and touching traditions. So thank you again! (Am I saying thank you too much? )
  

  Report2 Reply
• 00kim00 member

  

  July 2014

  I recently went to a wedding (in America) where the bride was Ukrainian and the groom was American. They had that entertainer person, which was new to us but was also helpful because he was able to explain the Ukrainian traditions to the Americans. To be honest, it was a little too full of stuff and the announcer talked too much. We just wanted to chat with our friends, eat, drink, enjoy the music, and dance. Listening to him talk so much got in the way of us talking, and most of my table left early because we weren't sure if/when he would end.
  
  The langauge barrier was also present at this wedding. The ceremony was done almost completely in English, but the bride said her vows in Russian. The vocalist in the band sang in Russian, and the announcer was bilingual and repeated himself in both Russian and English, sometimes with a longer explanation in one language if describing a foreign tradition.
  
  I would say, have the announcer, but be sure he is aware that Americans expect and like to have time in relative quiet to mingle (background music is okay, but if someone is speaking on a microphone it's polite to stop and listen), so keep it to a minimum. Definitely bring in some Russian traditions! One of the most fun parts of multicultural weddings is watching/participating in cultural traditions. But again, make sure there's plenty of time for unstructured mingling for the Americans to be comfortable.
  
  And just for reference, there were 48 guests at my wedding, many of whom were children. We were outdoors, so we had lawn games, a hammock, and a campfire in addition to the music and mingling. The "extras" were very popular with the kids, but adults really mostly sat or stood, drank, ate, and talked with each other.
  

  Report1 Reply
• SheileLori member

  

  July 2014

  Wow! That is so helpful, thanks a lot!! I wasn't even hoping that someone here on this forum could possible have an experience with Russian-American wedding!!

   

  We've decided we definitely won't have that announcer for 2 reasons - 1st, we'll ask maid of honor (she speaks both Russian and English) to explain the Russian traditions in English to the Americans; 2nd, since we will need a bilingual announcer it will cost more than usual, about $2000 I guess, which for me seems pretty expencive. I would rather spend that money on a decor or my attire

  So I hope that my MOH will do all the explanation parts well and she definitely won't talk too much to be annoying

  Report0 Reply