this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

6 days before RSVP deadline and we get an invite back in the mail!

mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Is this best handled by resending the invite first thing tomorrow AND following up with a phone call to explain what happened? 

It only has to go from Denver to Aspen so it shouldn't take more than a day to get there. I'm hoping the couple is still on vacation and won't even know what happened. But it still sucks it's this close to the RSVP date,  but I guess as the saying goes to each life a little rain must fall.  

I guess this isn't as bad as my Mom texting me on July 4th with: I hope you're not mad, I (verbally) invited so-and-so.......!
Report Reply to Post

Re: 6 days before RSVP deadline and we get an invite back in the mail!

  • indianaalumindianaalum member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would call immediately and explain what happened. I would then re-sent invitation (assuming address is correct),
    Report Reply
  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    lyndausvi said: I thought your "wedding" was in Sept? Why are the RSVPs due this far out?    

    Anyway, I had 2 invites returned to us the week the RSVPs were due.  Which was sent out 6-7 weeks earlier.  We just called the guests and let them know what happen.  No big deal. We have the RSVP dated exactly 2 months out. That is when the resort requires all the paperwork be in. I'm certain the world won't end if I'm a little late getting that stuff back to them but first I feel that's really disrespectful to the resort staff and our DOC so I'm put off by being more than a couple of days behind emailing them. And secondly I'm discovering that planning a DW is different in many respects (beside the obvious) than planning a local wedding. There's so much stuff that     simply can't be decided until the RSVP's are back that unless I wanted to half-ass the details and/or scramble the last six weeks, I needed to buck the 6-7 rule week and make it the 13th of this month. 

    Report Reply
  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    lyndausvi said:
    I thought your "wedding" was in Sept? Why are the RSVPs due this far out?    


    Anyway, I had 2 invites returned to us the week the RSVPs were due.  Which was sent out 6-7 weeks earlier.  We just called the guests and let them know what happen.  No big deal.
    SIB!


    We have the RSVP dated exactly 2 months out. That is when the resort requires all the paperwork be in. I'm certain the world won't end if I'm a little late getting that stuff back to them but first I feel that's really disrespectful to the resort staff and our DOC so I'm put off by being more than a couple of days behind emailing them. And secondly I'm discovering that planning a DW is different in many respects (beside the obvious) than planning a local wedding. There's so much stuff that simply can't be decided until the RSVP's are back that unless I wanted to half-ass the details and/or scramble the last six weeks, I needed to buck the 6-7 rule week and make it the 13th of this month. 


    Report Reply
  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    That just does not make any sense.  I bet I could call up the resort right now and say I want to have a 25 person wedding next week and as long as they have room they would accommodate us. 2 months out is ridiculous.

    But whatever, call the guests up and let them know what is going on.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    lyndausvi said:
    That just does not make any sense.  I bet I could call up the resort right now and say I want to have a 25 person wedding next week and as long as they have room they would accommodate us. 2 months out is ridiculous.

    But whatever, call the guests up and let them know what is going on.
    An excerpt from the email I received from the DOC on July 1:

    Dear STBEverharts:

     

    Hope you are doing well!

     

    I would like to let you know that we will be helping you to start planning all your wedding details in order to give you a Great Day to remember!

     

    Could you please fill up the forms in the attachments the wedding planning and rooming list form, and please send me back before: July 14th, 2014


    I'm not that surprised to be honest. They are equipped to handle up to three weddings a day, seven days a week I'd imagine. Having planned events as part of my job for years now, sometimes many at once in the same venue, I can understand wanting as many details as possible from as many of your clients as you could as soon as you could.


    I'll have Mr. E give them a call. I'll be dropping the invite back in the mail in the morning. Hopefully I'll address it to the high standards of the Woody Creek postman who rejected it the first time. Apparently you don't mess around and not include last names in the high country!

     

    Report Reply
  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    lyndausvi said:
    That just does not make any sense.  I bet I could call up the resort right now and say I want to have a 25 person wedding next week and as long as they have room they would accommodate us. 2 months out is ridiculous.

    But whatever, call the guests up and let them know what is going on.
    An excerpt from the email I received from the DOC on July 1:

    Dear STBEverharts:

     

    Hope you are doing well!

     

    I would like to let you know that we will be helping you to start planning all your wedding details in order to give you a Great Day to remember!

     

    Could you please fill up the forms in the attachments the wedding planning and rooming list form, and please send me back before: July 14th, 2014


    I'm not that surprised to be honest. They are equipped to handle up to three weddings a day, seven days a week I'd imagine. Having planned events as part of my job for years now, sometimes many at once in the same venue, I can understand wanting as many details as possible from as many of your clients as you could as soon as you could.


    I'll have Mr. E give them a call. I'll be dropping the invite back in the mail in the morning. Hopefully I'll address it to the high standards of the Woody Creek postman who rejected it the first time. Apparently you don't mess around and not include last names in the high country!

     

    If you omitted last names on your invites I'm actually a bit surprised you only had one returned.  I wrote one out to a friend with a Spanish last name and the postal workers took up issue with it so I had to write it out as a regular old "n" even though it has an accent mark when spelled correctly.
    Report Reply
  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    lyndausvi said:
    That just does not make any sense.  I bet I could call up the resort right now and say I want to have a 25 person wedding next week and as long as they have room they would accommodate us. 2 months out is ridiculous.

    But whatever, call the guests up and let them know what is going on.
    An excerpt from the email I received from the DOC on July 1:

    Dear STBEverharts:

     

    Hope you are doing well!

     

    I would like to let you know that we will be helping you to start planning all your wedding details in order to give you a Great Day to remember!

     

    Could you please fill up the forms in the attachments the wedding planning and rooming list form, and please send me back before: July 14th, 2014


    I'm not that surprised to be honest. They are equipped to handle up to three weddings a day, seven days a week I'd imagine. Having planned events as part of my job for years now, sometimes many at once in the same venue, I can understand wanting as many details as possible from as many of your clients as you could as soon as you could.


    I'll have Mr. E give them a call. I'll be dropping the invite back in the mail in the morning. Hopefully I'll address it to the high standards of the Woody Creek postman who rejected it the first time. Apparently you don't mess around and not include last names in the high country!

     



    *** SITB ****


    I didn't doubt that is what they told you.    I call BS they actually need all the info 2 months out.    As a guest even if  I RSVP yes, I often do not book my hotel and airline until under 6 weeks out.   So what good is a rooming list 2 months out?    


    Wanting as much info and asking for final numbers 2 months out are 2 different things.  I'm all for being in contact with how the numbers look, giving estimates and such months out.   Final numbers I call total BS on.  


    As I said, places like these are in the business of making money.   An empty room means no revenue, resorts do not like empty banquet space. If I called today and wanted a function on Saturday they more than likely would accommodate me.   Pop-up events happen all the time in our industry.   That is one reason I call BS on stuff like that.  If you can do a pop-up in short time there is no reason to ask for final numbers months out for other clients.  That does not mean if you did book early you can't give estimates and give as much info as possible to your coordinators.  







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why did you not include last names on their invite? 
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I don't see the reason for a freak out.  Simply resend the invite and call up the guest and say "Hey, just to let you know your invite to our event was returned by the USPS.  We are re-sending so that you will have the information but due to our venue we will need a final headcount on X day so please let us know by then if you will be attending."  They will probably ask when the events date is and where, etc so just answer their questions.

    And I do find it odd that you didn't include last names on the invites.

    And I agree with Lynda that I call BS on needing final numbers 2 months out.

    Report Reply
  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    No last names?
    image
    Report Reply
  • sarahuflsarahufl member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah, can you explain the no last name thing? That confuses me.
    image
    Report Reply
  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Maggie0829 said:
    I don't see the reason for a freak out.  Simply resend the invite and call up the guest and say "Hey, just to let you know your invite to our event was returned by the USPS.  We are re-sending so that you will have the information but due to our venue we will need a final headcount on X day so please let us know by then if you will be attending."  They will probably ask when the events date is and where, etc so just answer their questions.

    And I do find it odd that you didn't include last names on the invites.

    And I agree with Lynda that I call BS on needing final numbers 2 months out.
    I didn't mean to give the impression I was freaking out. I just wanted to inquire if there was some protocol I wasn't thinking of past dropping it back in the mail and placing a phone call in the name of proper correspondence. Something like extending that person's RSVP date or similar I didn't know about? 

    I only used first names in a "John + Jane" style on the majority of invites because I like the informality of it. It worked just fine except that particular one it would seem. The exception to this was the two invites that went to people in their 80's. I wasn't sure if they'd perceive two first names as artistic license while trying to keep with rather informal invites to an informal wedding or if they'd just think we didn't know how to properly address a wedding invitation. Those two got the "Mr. & Mrs. So & So" treatment. 
    Report Reply
  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    MobKaz said:
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    I don't see the reason for a freak out.  Simply resend the invite and call up the guest and say "Hey, just to let you know your invite to our event was returned by the USPS.  We are re-sending so that you will have the information but due to our venue we will need a final headcount on X day so please let us know by then if you will be attending."  They will probably ask when the events date is and where, etc so just answer their questions.

    And I do find it odd that you didn't include last names on the invites.

    And I agree with Lynda that I call BS on needing final numbers 2 months out.
    I didn't mean to give the impression I was freaking out. I just wanted to inquire if there was some protocol I wasn't thinking of past dropping it back in the mail and placing a phone call in the name of proper correspondence. Something like extending that person's RSVP date or similar I didn't know about? 

    I only used first names in a "John + Jane" style on the majority of invites because I like the informality of it. It worked just fine except that particular one it would seem. The exception to this was the two invites that went to people in their 80's. I wasn't sure if they'd perceive two first names as artistic license while trying to keep with rather informal invites to an informal wedding or if they'd just think we didn't know how to properly address a wedding invitation. Those two got the "Mr. & Mrs. So & So" treatment. 
    image
    image
    I'm so happy I was able to bring some amusement to your day, you seem like you could use more smiles in your world. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards