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What do I do about the Mean Girls at work?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudie,
I am being bullied at work. I’m a professional woman in a field with limited opportunities. I work in a very small office and am the newest and youngest employee. Since I started, the “mean girls” have excluded me from conversations, grow hushed when I walk into a room, and have been generally unfriendly. I’ve been brushing it off and figured it would take me time to integrate. Then I overheard two of them saying some petty and nasty things about my appearance and attire. I’m a generally likable, (relatively) good-looking, non-smelly, appropriately dressed person (you’ll just have to take my word). My boss is a nice guy, but these employees have been with him since the beginning. I am not the only one on the receiving end of this behavior. I like my work but I’m barely resisting the urge to let the mean girls have it for being so awful to me and others. I can’t afford to quit as I have mountains of student debt, jobs are scarce, and I have a young family to support. How can I handle this situation, and perhaps confront the mean girls, without propagating the cycle of bullying?

—Sick of Meanies

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Re: What do I do about the Mean Girls at work?

  • cdn0292cdn0292 member
    10 Comments
    edited July 2014
    Me personally, I would pull them each aside one-by-one (off the clock) and ask them what the issue was. It sounds like they have a group bully mentality so I think separating them to speak to them would catch them off guard. If they don't agree to talk to you...it is already a lost cause. I am also the youngest at my place of employment and people didn't take me seriously when I first got the job but once I stood up for myself and showed that I wasn't a floor mat A LOT changed. I know work drama really sucks because in most situations you spend more time at work with coworkers than family. However, if you involve yourself too much you run the risk of getting yourself into trouble and surrounding yourself with nothing but negative energy (which a lot of time is brought back home with you). Good Luck!!
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Why is ignoring it not an option? Is this affecting her performance reviews or something? Or am I just such an introvert that I literally cannot find a shit to give about what other people think of me that aren't my boss, and wouldn't care if they didn't want to be friends? 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Duck and cover.  I've been through this before and nothing good comes from the confrontation at all.
    �
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  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I just asked my coworker if she wrote this letter.  ;)
    �
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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm with bmom.  This needs to be ignored.
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  • meowcat84meowcat84 member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I would ignore it. Or talk to HR. Talking to them separately is not a good idea. I'm sorry but they are grown women and don't need to warned or have a "talk" on why they don't like you. Think about it...do you think they will keep it to themselves that you had a talk with each one of them. I've had it at work it's tough...they would make it obvious that I was being excluded from their girl group. Get over them they are petty and make new friends at work.
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Maybe I'm catty, but I would go up to the two girls that said something petty and nasty about appearance as they were saying it and tell them that normally when you talk about someone behind their back, you do it successfully and not so obviously. And then I would ignore.

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  • goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    This calls for a good ol' tire slashin'.

    In all seriousness, I've been in scenarios like this.  If this person is as likable as she says, then eventually she'll help one of them and the others will come around.  If that doesn't do it, just ignore it.  They will eventually realize she isn't going anywhere and give up.  

    Girl, do a good job, grab that pay check, and soldier on.  Don't give in to their drama.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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