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I just called, to say... not much

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 
I need you to tell me if I’m a jerk. My husband (whom I love dearly and is amazing and sweet) calls me every day, a couple times a day, just to “check in” or “say hi” or “hear my voice.” This is very sweet, but he doesn’t have anything to say, and it annoys me to no end! He doesn’t keep it short, either, even though he’s busy. I could go the whole day without talking to him, and if something interesting happens that simply can’t wait, I’ll call him. I’m currently unemployed, so when he asks me what is going on, 99.9 percent of the time, it’s nothing. I love him to bits, but how do I tell him to not call me unless he has something to say without hurting his feelings? 

—I’ll Call You

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Re: I just called, to say... not much

  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    This would drive me *insane*, but I'd just tell him that. "Honey, it's so nice that you want to keep up with me during the day. The thing is, I'm perfectly content not to talk (on the phone or otherwise) all day long. It makes it so I look forward to your coming home, so I can tell you about my day. So from now on, I'm not going to take your calls." Or, take one phone call at lunch, and that's it. This, of course, assumes that the guy isn't a controlling dickhead who's calling to make sure she's doing whatever it is he thinks she's supposed to be.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Maybe he's calling to see if she is filling out job applications or hoping to find out what the showcase show down prize were? Read between the lines...geesh
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    baconsmom said:
    This would drive me *insane*, but I'd just tell him that. "Honey, it's so nice that you want to keep up with me during the day. The thing is, I'm perfectly content not to talk (on the phone or otherwise) all day long. It makes it so I look forward to your coming home, so I can tell you about my day. So from now on, I'm not going to take your calls." Or, take one phone call at lunch, and that's it. This, of course, assumes that the guy isn't a controlling dickhead who's calling to make sure she's doing whatever it is he thinks she's supposed to be.
    Wait.  Are you saying she should use her words?
    �
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  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Maybe see if there's an underlying reason why he calls. My husband does the same. He calls on the work phone, which my boss only tolerates because of the underlying reason and I keep it short. My husband will usually call to double check what I want on my pizza or making sure I'm okay with him buying something. But he really is doing it because he has desperation anxiety and a slightly-rational-but-mostly-not fear of me leaving and him never seeing me again, whether because of death or I ran off with another man. The reason why it's partially rational is that the only way to get to my work is to cross a busy highway.
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