Keeping guests away from desserts?

Becca0929 · July 2014

This might be a ridiculous question, so forgive me. I've actually never been to a wedding, which makes planning one even more stressful. I'm getting married in 2 weeks & were doing a morning brunch. The brunch buffet will be set up in one room and the drink station/bar and the dessert table will be in an adjoining room. We're doing a doughnut tower instead of a wedding cake, and then a dessert bar of brownies, cheescake, pastries, etc... We plan on doing a "cake cutting" of a doughnut and then opening up the dessert table about an hour after the reception starts.

Anyways..my question is, as guests are going through the buffet line or going to get their drinks, should the desserts already be on the table ready and guests will just know not to eat them yet? Do we ask the caterer to keep the desserts in the back until guests are mostly finished?

mysticl · July 2014

I would keep the desserts in the back. If I see food out (with the exception of an uncut wedding cake) I pretty much assume it's fair game.

Jen4948 · July 2014

mysticl said:

I would keep the desserts in the back. If I see food out (with the exception of an uncut wedding cake) I pretty much assume it's fair game.

This.

If you don't want desserts served immediately, keep them in the back until you're ready to have them served.

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

Keep the desserts in the back. I would totally take a donut.

PrettyGirlLost · July 2014

Don't have the desserts set out until you want them to be served.

banana468 · July 2014

Ditto the others. If I see a doughnut, I'm going to take one.

Maggie0829 · July 2014

I must be in the minority but even if I see a doughnut or other desserts sitting out I wouldn't touch them until after the meal is over with and once the bride and groom either "cut" something or go up and grab something or someone makes an announcement that dessert is available.

AddieCake · July 2014

Yeah, if donuts were sitting out with the rest of the brunch, I would not know not to take one.

climbingsingle · July 2014

Maggie0829 said:

I must be in the minority but even if I see a doughnut or other desserts sitting out I wouldn't touch them until after the meal is over with and once the bride and groom either "cut" something or go up and grab something or someone makes an announcement that dessert is available.

Ditto this.

We're doing a dessert buffet. My venue is not putting the items out until after dinner.

STARMOON44 · July 2014

I wouldn't go ahead and cut a slice of wedding cake , but a stack of doughnuts at a brunch reception, no matter how prettily arranged, just says to me. "Eat me! I'm festive ".

mysticl · July 2014

STARMOON44 said:

I wouldn't go ahead and cut a slice of wedding cake , but a stack of doughnuts at a brunch reception, no matter how prettily arranged, just says to me. "Eat me! I'm festive ".

I didn't even think of that but, yeah, doughnuts are totally a brunch food and I might not even realize they were meant to be "dessert" I would totally see them as part of the meal.

banana468 · July 2014

STARMOON44 said:
I wouldn't go ahead and cut a slice of wedding cake , but a stack of doughnuts at a brunch reception, no matter how prettily arranged, just says to me. "Eat me! I'm festive ".

This. If it were a different time of day I might avoid them but doughnuts at brunch screams EAT ME.

hales2010 · July 2014

I would have to agree. If I saw doughnuts out I would not even think of being a creative way to make a wedding cake. I would but it in the back or away from all the other stuff until your ready to serve it.

daria24 · July 2014

At my cousin's wedding they had a dessert table out the whole time, but no one touched it until it was announced. But it was a late afternoon reception, and the meal was served family style.

Normally I wouldn't touch dessert until it was "time" but the donuts at a brunch would be an open invitation.

jules3964 · July 2014

I can't find a photo as a visual, but would it be rude/weird to rope it off in some nice way at the front of the table? And/or have a sign that says something like, "Please enjoy dessert at 1pm" (or whatever time)?

I'm wondering what to do about this myself now that you bring it up; we will have a cupcake tower on display.

Jen4948 · July 2014

jules3964 said:

I can't find a photo as a visual, but would it be rude/weird to rope it off in some nice way at the front of the table? And/or have a sign that says something like, "Please enjoy dessert at 1pm" (or whatever time)?

I'm wondering what to do about this myself now that you bring it up; we will have a cupcake tower on display.

The idea of not eating wedding cake until it's cut is pretty common knowledge, but anything else that's out should be fair game. Putting out any other food with a "do not touch" sign would be rude and weird. If you don't want something to be consumed, don't serve it.

jules3964 · July 2014

Jen4948 said:

jules3964 said:

I can't find a photo as a visual, but would it be rude/weird to rope it off in some nice way at the front of the table? And/or have a sign that says something like, "Please enjoy dessert at 1pm" (or whatever time)?

I'm wondering what to do about this myself now that you bring it up; we will have a cupcake tower on display.

The idea of not eating wedding cake until it's cut is pretty common knowledge, but anything else that's out should be fair game. Putting out any other food with a "do not touch" sign would be rude and weird. If you don't want something to be consumed, don't serve it.

Thanks for confirming the rudeness — I didn't really want to do a sign anyway. I'm trying to decide if I even care if some people eat cupcakes early. But I guess if I do, we'll work it out with the caterer to put them out later.

banana468 · July 2014

I don't know. If I saw cupcakes at a wedding I wouldn't take one. Friends had them at their wedding and I didn't jump to eat one at their afternoon wedding.

If you have them on a cupcake tower with a B&G cake topper, that may be more of a give away that it's the wedding dessert.

csuave · July 2014

Since you haven't been to a wedding, I'll throw this out there. Some people do the cake cutting right when starting the reception. Then people can eat dessert when they want and the cake cutting doesn't interrupt the conversation and mingling that is going on later.

Maggie0829 · July 2014

I think the fact that the dessert table with the doughnut "cake" will be in a different room from the brunch buffet you should be safe that people won't just start going hog wild on the dessert items. But who knows. I just know that all weddings I have been to people didn't touch the dessert (whether it be cake, brownies, cookies, etc) until it was announced that they could.

mysticl · July 2014

Maggie0829 said:

I think the fact that the dessert table with the doughnut "cake" will be in a different room from the brunch buffet you should be safe that people won't just start going hog wild on the dessert items. But who knows. I just know that all weddings I have been to people didn't touch the dessert (whether it be cake, brownies, cookies, etc) until it was announced that they could.

But it's the same room as the drinks so people will be in there and could see it as an extension of the buffet.

alpacalunch · July 2014

My gut reaction to reading the title of this thread was "what kind of monster is this person?"

Anyway, put me into the camp that would grab a donut. I would assume that's part of the food on offer at the time, if it's already been presented.

Is there any way to maybe drape the table with something? ie

Maggie0829 · July 2014

mysticl said:

Maggie0829 said:

I think the fact that the dessert table with the doughnut "cake" will be in a different room from the brunch buffet you should be safe that people won't just start going hog wild on the dessert items. But who knows. I just know that all weddings I have been to people didn't touch the dessert (whether it be cake, brownies, cookies, etc) until it was announced that they could.

But it's the same room as the drinks so people will be in there and could see it as an extension of the buffet.

I guess I wouldn't because if it is full of dessert type food I would be thinking "oh there is the dessert table. I can't wait to grab a donut and brownie after our meal."

mysticl · July 2014

Maggie0829 said:

mysticl said:

Maggie0829 said:

I think the fact that the dessert table with the doughnut "cake" will be in a different room from the brunch buffet you should be safe that people won't just start going hog wild on the dessert items. But who knows. I just know that all weddings I have been to people didn't touch the dessert (whether it be cake, brownies, cookies, etc) until it was announced that they could.

But it's the same room as the drinks so people will be in there and could see it as an extension of the buffet.

I guess I wouldn't because if it is full of dessert type food I would be thinking "oh there is the dessert table. I can't wait to grab a donut and brownie after our meal."

See, I've been to events where the dessert is out at the same time as the meal so you either grab it with your food or go up when you are done. You don't wait to be "released" for dessert. I've also been to weddings that had dessert in addition to the cake so I wouldn't automatically think there was something special about the desserts that were sitting out.

Maggie0829 · July 2014

I guess I just wouldn't grab dessert at the same time as I am eating my main meal. I also wouldn't grab dessert right after the meal but rather an hour or so later after I have danced my meal off.

mysticl · July 2014

Maggie0829 said:

I guess I just wouldn't grab dessert at the same time as I am eating my main meal. I also wouldn't grab dessert right after the meal but rather an hour or so later after I have danced my meal off.

See, I've been to weddings where if you didn't get cake right away, you didn't get cake. It was taken away shortly after it was cut. So I don't assume that dessert is going to be sitting out all night for me to get whenever I'm ready.

Becca0929 · July 2014

Thanks for the advice everyone. We decided we're going to have the doughnut cake out on the dessert table, and if people eat them, no big deal. But when we do the cake cutting, we'll have the caterer bring out all the other desserts. The caterer agreed that if they were out, people would grab them. It wouldn't be the end of the world, but I guess we want to have a nice transition to dessert time after the cake cutting. Thanks again!

Keeping guests away from desserts?

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