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Moms and Maids

ring bearer and flower girl attendance

is it acceptable for the bride and groom to request the ring bearer and flower girl leave the reception after the dinner. Is it ok to bow out of being a ring bearer or flower girl if there are no options for someone to come pick the child up.

Re: ring bearer and flower girl attendance

  • No, it would be very rude to ask that they leave after dinner. The child will not voluntarily bow out because adults can't figure out logistics. It would essentially be kicking the child out of the WP (if they've already been asked), which is highly inadvisable.

    If you have not already asked the children to be RB/FG, just don't. We didn't have either because we anted a child free wedding and the ceremony was fine without them. But if you've already asked, you cannot kick them out or ask that they leave the reception early. You'll need to accommodate them as normal and let their parents decide of their own accord when its time to leave.
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  • What PP said. All wedding party members are invited to the reception, the entire reception.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    is it acceptable for the bride and groom to request the ring bearer and flower girl leave the reception after the dinner. Is it ok to bow out of being a ring bearer or flower girl if there are no options for someone to come pick the child up.
    No.  Ring bearers and flower girls have to be allowed to stay at the reception after dinner.  If you don't want that, then nix ring bearers and flower girls.  Options for "someone to come pick the child up" should never be necessary.
  • It sounds like OP is the parent of a ring bearer and/or flower girl. If so...if the bride and groom have asked that the children leave early, you may absolutely decline to have your children participate. It's incredibly rude to ask the kids to leave the party early! Run away and don't look back.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    OP, you should really change your username to something not your email address...just an internet safety FYI.

    As for your questions, it would be rude as hell for the bride and groom to request that the ring bearer and flower girl leave after dinner.



  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2014
    Unless they are your own children and you have decided to send them home, then it would be rude for a bride and groom to use the children for the ceremony and then not let them participate in the reception.  It would not be rude for parents to pull their children from the wedding party if the bride and groom want them to leave and you have nobody to pick them up, no. 

     And yes, please change your username. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2014
    NO and NO.

    It's not okay for the bride and groom to tell the children they must leave after dinner. 

    If you are the bride or groom, you may not un-ask the children to be FG and RB.

    If chasseuese is correct and you are the parent of the FG and RB, you may withdraw them from the wedding. It's very rude of the B & G to use your kids and then send them home. If that makes it difficult for you to attend, you may decline the invitation. 
                       
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