Updates From Everyone, Please!

lc07 · July 2014

Hi Guys. I've been on vacation and haven't been in the loop. Was wondering about updates on how everyone is doing and previous posts that I don't think have ever been updated anyway. @Lyndausvi I have been thinking of you and your H since the rafting accident. Are you dealing with that alright? @Jells2dot0 are you at home or in the hospital? How are you feeling?

Everyone else - updates on previous posts? What's new? How's everyone doing?

Kitty has been going down hill. After I got home, 4 days later she was diagnosed with Ataxia but we don't know why. Her blood work, X-rays and Urine sample all put her in near-perfect health. I'm not going to do an MRI since anything we find there will be incurable or require radiation which I am just not going to put her through at 18 years old. She's doing a little bit better since her symptoms first appeared on Sunday night.

I'm busy with work. I don't think I've really dealt with the divorce stuff mentally/emotionally. Which I know I need to do. But I'm still working on just being okay physically (taking care of myself, medication, eating, etc.) But hanging in there. My vacation was awesome. I usually have really horrible anxiety when on vacation (work distracts me from it). But I had a really nice time all things considered. There were some rough moments but all in all it was good. Mostly I just wanna be back to living beachfront and playing ladder ball with a mixed drink every night and my mom cooking me dinner. Not reality, though.

Hope you guys are all doing well. Wanna hear about it either way, though.

lyndausvi · July 2014

I'm sorry to hear about Kitty. ::hugs:: Glad you had a good vacation. Living beachfront, playing ladder ball with a drink in my hand is a life I would love to return to.

You are so sweet for thinking of us. In my case, time does heal. I still think about the guy on a daily basis, but not obsessively like I did the first few weeks. I can now go to sleep without seeing his non-responsive blue eyes. The victim was a Top 20 litigator in CA, specializing in wrongful death cases. I spent a great deal of time worrying about lawsuits. Wondering if I could have done anything different. After a lot of research it seems CO has decent Good Samaritan laws and they often uphold activity waivers (which we all signed prior to the trip). I have no doubt they will still sue, I'm just feeling a lot better about my roll in the situation.

DH is fine. He had a little survivor guilt going on as they fell out at the exact same time. He lived, the other guy didn't. Thankfully he did not witness the victim's struggles or see him die like I did. He was so far up river he didn't even know what was going on other than they both were in the water.

lc07 · July 2014

I'm so glad to hear that it's getting better for you. I honestly cannot imagine dealing with that. I've never been through anything like it (thank God). I do think I would have had the same worries that you did about litigation. I tend to think about the worst case scenario in an attempt to head it off before it actually happens. And I'm really glad to hear about the Good Samaritan Law there. It's so important. People wouldn't help people if it didn't exist. You just have to know that you did an amazing thing. And what you did in no way hurt him. It's not like your attempt to save him broke his back and killed him, you know? I have a feeling you know that, though, now that the trauma is slowly fading. I'm so glad to hear your H is doing better, too.

lyndausvi · July 2014

One thing I found interesting is that other than the rafting company not one person interviewed us about what happened. The rangers took our info, but no one called us. I thought that was interesting. I guess I expected I would be giving a statement to someone one other than the rafting company?

lc07 · July 2014

I find that very surprising as well. Obviously, I'm no expert, but you'd think someone would be taking statements from everyone present about how everything was handled. Maybe they don't if they deem it an accident?

lyndausvi · July 2014

Once we got off of the river we had to climb 1/4+ of a mile up a very steep hill to a bike/walking trail. (they had to winch the victim up the hill with 8 or so people carrying him). That point was a mile or more from a main road. We had to catch a ride with the rescue chief to the rafting bus which was another few miles from where we picked up the main road.

On the ride the other woman on the raft and I were talking to DH. We were praising in for staying calm and following procedures. We both kept saying how the victim flat out panicked. He would not grab the rope or oar. He wasn't listening to anything, he just panicked. When you panic you often take in water. When you taken in water you panic even more.

It's possible the chief listened to us talk and reported back to the rangers what we said. (the Chief never asked us any questions). I know they talked to the guides. Between the guides and what the chief heard it's possible they deemed it an accident.

lc07 · July 2014

It does sound odd, though. I've had to sign witness statements in the past over car accidents, etc. Or at least be recorded. I imagine without anyone pressing charges they could just assume it was an accident?

Anyway, I do think you should let go of the worry about your role in this if you can. Maybe write down everything you remember and put it away in a file cabinet. You can rest assured that you thought it out and documented it, and hopefully let it go more and more with time.

I know, for myself at least, that when I worry, it's often because I don't want to forget important things. So I keep running them through my head over and over. Writing things down helps me let them go in my day-to-day life.

themuffinman16 · July 2014

@Ic07, You are such a sweet person to always be concerned for others, when you have your own worries. I am so glad you had a good vacation; you deserve to pamper yourself and relax.

@lyndausvi, What a horrible experience! You handled that situation better than most people would have. Survivor's guilt is awful and it really takes a toll on you. But, I am sure there was nothing more that could have been done, I am relieved that you are able to see this.

I am sending warm thoughts to all of you, that you may continue to keep healing. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the summer. My wedding is less than two weeks away. So I don't know how often I will be available to go on the knot, since it's crunch time. Hugs to you Ic07, Lyndausvi and your Fi. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

lyndausvi · July 2014

themuffinman16 said:

@Ic07, You are such a sweet person to always be concerned for others, when you have your own worries. I am so glad you had a good vacation; you deserve to pamper yourself and relax.
@lyndausvi, What a horrible experience! You handled that situation better than most people would have. Survivor's guilt is awful and it really takes a toll on you. But, I am sure there was nothing more that could have been done, I am relieved that you are able to see this.
I am sending warm thoughts to all of you, that you may continue to keep healing. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the summer. My wedding is less than two weeks away. So I don't know how often I will be available to go on the knot, since it's crunch time. Hugs to you Ic07, Lyndausvi and your Fi. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

thank you, you are so sweet.

And yes I know I did all I could to help him. All my years of working on a boat and going through all those training classed for crewing and captaining is helping me remain calm and know what to do. Unfortunately, in these situations you can do everything right and still end up with the outcome you do not want. Even though logically you know that, I'm are still human.

Jells2dot0 · July 2014

So sorry about kitty

I really hope she will pull through!!!

I've been home from the hospital since Tuesday afternoon. I had a few very bad days where I was just so incredibly tired. I ended up almost blacking out a few times. So, the increases dose worked I guess??? I'm doing better now, except for some abdominal pain which we think is from having an enlarged spleen. Thank you for asking!!!

@lyndausvi‌ I am glad that time has been able to heal some of the pain/anxiety from your experience. It sounds like you have handled things way better than I ever could and you did everything you could have done in your situation.

Cookie Pusher · July 2014

I, uh, got married. And after a week, I haven't killed DH... yet.

doeydo · July 2014

I'm sorry about Kitty *hugs*

FI and I are doing well. At the appointment, I did mention wanting to postpone and we talked about it and we decided to decide in a few days from then. We decided not to postpone as we would lose our deposit (I know, if we decide to cancel or postpone later then we will lose whatever more money we put into the wedding) and we love each other and feel like if we both keep trying (me on my trust issues and him on the other issues) then we can make it.

FI tried out for the cooking show, and unfortunately he didn't make it. He had his dish in a cooler but I guess it got too warm and the soup started separating or something.
I found a dress (I'll make a dress post later) and now my sister is up for the week so I'll go see her on Tuesday and Wednesday.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

I'm sorry to hear about your kitty, Ic07. Hoping you get to take care of yourself and process what you're going through, as well.

I've just been studying for the bar, so not too much news with me. Fi lost his grandfather, with whom he was very close, so it's been a difficult month for the family. FBIL got married, which was a source of much snark but also really, really fun and a good distraction from everyone being so sad.

I'll have more of a life starting on August 1st when the bar is over. I can't wait.

lc07 · July 2014

Muffin! 2 weeks away! That's so exciting. Good luck with all the crunch time stuff. Come talk to us if you get super stressed out or need to vent. And you better come back once you're a hag.

I'm glad to hear you're back home, Jells and getting to continue to sleep in your own bed!! Yay!

Cookie, that's awesome! How was the wedding day? Do you have any pics yet?

Doey, I'm so glad you guys are in counseling (I'm guessing that was what your appointment was?) I very sincerely hope you guys can work through your problems. I haven't stopped loving my H. Unfortunately, love really isn't enough to make a marriage work, though. I hope you guys can get to a really good point together. I will be thinking of you. Bummer about the show - which one did he try out for?

JC - Your exam is really soon!! That's awesome! Do you have a specific date already? (I don't have any lawyer friends so I don't know how this stuff works). I cannot wait to have a drink in your honor when you come back to tell us you passed with flying colors. I'm sorry to hear about FI's grandfather. I hope he finds peace with the loss soon.

doeydo · July 2014

Yes, it was a counselling appointment. Thanks. He tried out for Master Chef Canada.

lyndausvi · July 2014

doeydo said:

Yes, it was a counselling appointment. Thanks. He tried out for Master Chef Canada.

Bummer. I've tried to get DH to try out for one of those type shows. Timing just hasn't be right. Either the company he worked for would not allow it or when he is able to try out it's way to busy at work to get away. Someday I hope.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

lc07 said:
JC - Your exam is really soon!! That's awesome! Do you have a specific date already? (I don't have any lawyer friends so I don't know how this stuff works). I cannot wait to have a drink in your honor when you come back to tell us you passed with flying colors. I'm sorry to hear about FI's grandfather. I hope he finds peace with the loss soon.

Gah, it's really close! July 29-31. I don't find out if I passed until November, but you bet I will tell you guys and we can have a GIF party. And thanks for your kind words about Fi's grandfather, it's been hard but he is working through it.

Updates From Everyone, Please!

Re: Updates From Everyone, Please!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards