Entitled Brides

LakeR2014 · July 2014

Ok…so I need some outside perspective to see if I’m wrong or justified.

My friend is getting married this weekend. She’s very much a pretty-princess bride and has driven everyone nuts. The newest thing though has set me off more than anything. She’s going to drag her wedding party to her grandfathers nursing home to take pictures with him. Yes it could be sweet if it was for him, but its for her. Her grandfather has dementia, a very bad case of it. Most times he recognizes the people who have been in his life forever, but not those less than 20-30 years. She has never seen him since he went into the home because she’s "too busy", and even before he went to the home she never visited his house. However, for her one day she can disrupt his schedule by parading into a facility of dementia patients with her entire wedding party so she can have her pictures with him. If she had showed any hint of caring for him before, I’d be completely understanding, however she’s showed nada and just wants it as a ‘look at me I took time to see Grandpa so he could be part of the wedding.’

My thought is that he will A) be completely confused and irate because he won’t know what’s going on, or have a moment of lucidity and be hurt that he’s too far gone to be an actual part of her day and his pride would be hurt. Either way it doesn’t benefit him at all and is just for her.

Am I right or is she being justified in going to her grandfathers?

Snarky Aside note: Her wedding also includes a 5-hour gap.

WinstonsGirl · July 2014

I could totally understand her wanting to pop by to include him in the day and get some photos, but not with the whole WP. Just her and maybe new Hubby if he's met him before.

manateehugger · July 2014

Yeah, that's weird to want the wedding party there. Who cares if grandpa poses with the bridesmaids? My parents and grandparents are in zero of our non-candid wedding photos with the bridesmaids.

If she and her FI want to go to the nursing home to take photos, that's their business. I don't think it's totally fair to pass judgement on how much she cares about her grandfather though. Just let that part go.

AddieCake · July 2014

I would not take my whole wedding party there, no.

mysticl · July 2014

I think that if she wants pictures with him she should go with her parents prior to the ceremony or she and her husband after the ceremony or reception depending on the timing. Dragging the entire wedding party there (even if she visited him 7 days a week) is ridiculous and disruptive. I could see the staff having major issues with this.

blabla89 · July 2014

LakeR2014 said:

Ok…so I need some outside perspective to see if I’m wrong or justified.

My friend is getting married this weekend. She’s very much a pretty-princess bride and has driven everyone nuts.   The newest thing though has set me off more than anything.   She’s going to drag her wedding party to her grandfathers nursing home to take pictures with him.   Yes it could be sweet if it was for him, but its for her.   Her grandfather has dementia, a very bad case of it. Most times he recognizes the people who have been in his life forever, but not those less than 20-30 years.   She has never seen him since he went into the home because she’s "too busy", and even before he went to the home she never visited his house. However, for her one day she can disrupt his schedule by parading into a facility of dementia patients with her entire wedding party so she can have her pictures with him.   If she had showed any hint of caring for him before, I’d be completely understanding, however she’s showed nada and just wants it as a ‘look at me I took time to see Grandpa so he could be part of the wedding.’

My thought is that he will A) be completely confused and irate because he won’t know what’s going on, or have a moment of lucidity and be hurt that he’s too far gone to be an actual part of her day and his pride would be hurt.   Either way it doesn’t benefit him at all and is just for her.

Am I right or is she being justified in going to her grandfathers?

Snarky Aside note: Her wedding also includes a 5-hour gap.

Well of course she's going to see grandpa. What else is she going to do for FIVE FREAKING HOURS? Just wait around all dressed up for the reception to start?

loveislouder · July 2014

My grandpa had Alzheimers, and the nursing home would definitely NOT let that happen because it would disrupt the whole place to have a woman in a wedding dress and her party running around. That being said, if he's sometimes lucid-ish, bring him outside.

JasperandOpal · July 2014

loveislouder said:

My grandpa had Alzheimers, and the nursing home would definitely NOT let that happen because it would disrupt the whole place to have a woman in a wedding dress and her party running around. That being said, if he's sometimes lucid-ish, bring him outside.

This is what I was going to say. A group of strangers could not only be really upsetting to him, it could be really upsetting to everyone in the facility. Has she even checked if they will let her do this?

lovesclimbing · July 2014

The whole WP? That's insane. My grandparents who attended my wedding weren't even in shots with the WP. Just shots with H and I.

PrincessOfHavoc · July 2014

A friend was very close to her grandfather, visited him at least 3x a week. Her then fiance, now husband visited with her at least weekly. Late stage Parkinson's Plus was the disease, did have some dementia.

They would have loved pictures with the three of them. They were close enough. But as the staff helped remind them, Grandpa was very easily confused and then aggressive and self harming. He would most likely not been able to handle her in a wedding gown with his behaviors and issues. They took pictures with him the next day and were able to help him understand a picture of them from the wedding. For his last few months, he told everyone about how his baby just got married yesterday. He loved it. He was comfortable that way, they got pictures and that was enough.

If he's in a decent care facility, they'll shut that shit down faster than you can blink.

LakeR2014 · July 2014

PrincessOfHavoc said:

A friend was very close to her grandfather, visited him at least 3x a week. Her then fiance, now husband visited with her at least weekly. Late stage Parkinson's Plus was the disease, did have some dementia. They would have loved pictures with the three of them. They were close enough. But as the staff helped remind them, Grandpa was very easily confused and then aggressive and self harming. He would most likely not been able to handle her in a wedding gown with his behaviors and issues. They took pictures with him the next day and were able to help him understand a picture of them from the wedding. For his last few months, he told everyone about how his baby just got married yesterday. He loved it. He was comfortable that way, they got pictures and that was enough. If he's in a decent care facility, they'll shut that shit down faster than you can blink.

THIS! I hope they do as soon as they see the limo bus/group show up. She's doing this for her own agenda. She's never been to the facility, doesn't know where her grandfather's room is or even what floor it's on - outside of that it's on the dementia floor. She hasn't seen him in who knows how long - to the point where none of the staff would even know who she is.

Those who have visited him have expressed to her how inappropriate/unhealthy it will be to him, but she seems to not care/turn a deaf ear to it. At this point I'm hoping the staff will step in and say 'Sorry, not sorry, but you can't be here.' It's just not fair, nice, or kind to him or any of the other patients.

MobKaz · July 2014

LakeR2014 said:

PrincessOfHavoc said:

A friend was very close to her grandfather, visited him at least 3x a week. Her then fiance, now husband visited with her at least weekly. Late stage Parkinson's Plus was the disease, did have some dementia. They would have loved pictures with the three of them. They were close enough. But as the staff helped remind them, Grandpa was very easily confused and then aggressive and self harming. He would most likely not been able to handle her in a wedding gown with his behaviors and issues. They took pictures with him the next day and were able to help him understand a picture of them from the wedding. For his last few months, he told everyone about how his baby just got married yesterday. He loved it. He was comfortable that way, they got pictures and that was enough. If he's in a decent care facility, they'll shut that shit down faster than you can blink.

THIS! I hope they do as soon as they see the limo bus/group show up. She's doing this for her own agenda. She's never been to the facility, doesn't know where her grandfather's room is or even what floor it's on - outside of that it's on the dementia floor. She hasn't seen him in who knows how long - to the point where none of the staff would even know who she is.

Those who have visited him have expressed to her how inappropriate/unhealthy it will be to him, but she seems to not care/turn a deaf ear to it. At this point I'm hoping the staff will step in and say 'Sorry, not sorry, but you can't be here.' It's just not fair, nice, or kind to him or any of the other patients.

She turns a deaf ear because it has nothing to do with grandpa and everything to do with her.

Senecaf · July 2014

She sounds like a huge bratt. I hope they do not let her and her wedding party in. That sounds like a terrible idea and as others mentioned incredibly disruptive and rude.

climbingsingle · July 2014

That is crazy. And this is a terrible idea.

PrincessOfHavoc · July 2014

Have someone contact the facility first that she's going to try this stunt. If they're forewarned, the crazy will hopefully be stopped at the door.

But please let there be video of the tantrum when she's told no by someone who won't back down.

chasseuse · July 2014

If people who have been to the facility have told the bride this is a bad idea, one of them should definitely call and warn them to be prepared. Who is the (not sure of the right term here) POA or next of kin or whoever is in charge of the grandfather's well being? That person should be able to "order" the facility not to allow this horrible idea.

Chipmunk415 · July 2014

Seconded on a good facility shutting that down. Bride is being selfish, and it will not only disrupt grandpa's routine, but every other patient as well. Having lived with a family member with Alzheimers, grandpa may be very frightened by the group of strangers showing up like that.

Evil Chipmunk however hopes if the bride goes to see grandpa that he throws his chocolate pudding all over her- chipmunks grandma did that to chipmunk when she was 4 and in her Easter dress

Kauris · July 2014

I have missed Evil Chipmunk!

sophhabobopha · July 2014

Yeah, she's going to get kicked out.

PrincessOfHavoc · July 2014

To help the residents and staff PLUS indulge Delightfully Evil Chipmunk.....

As MeMeMe starts a tantrum about being denied access, she'll flail herself into the cart carrying the afternoon chocolate pudding snack.

No upset residents. Ruined dress. It's a win win.

WildMagelet · July 2014

That's crazy! My grandma doesn't have dementia and I still wouldn't have considered this. Maybe this means I need a REALLY big gap so this can be a thing!

Entitled Brides

Re: Entitled Brides

Choose Another Board

Search Boards