My FSIL, who is four years younger than my fiancé an I, has gotten, in my opinion out of control already with the wedding… and we are well over a year away!
First of all, on the night my fiancé proposed, she posted a "fake proposal" picture of herself on Facebook and Instagram just hours beforehand, featuring a guy friend posing as her fiancé and ring made out of foil. It kind of blew the surprise for me, and made me kind of sad because it was like a joke, and I didn't want my engagement made a joke out of, which wouldn't have been an issue if I could have announced it myself on a different day, which leads me to the next issue…
She took the liberty of announcing our engagement to everyone on Facebook the same night. It wasn't mean or nasty, but it wasn't worded in a way that was especially tasteful (like saying that HE is going to make ME the happiest girl in the world, but failing to mention that I might make him happy, too). I guess this issue is especially sensitive because, sadly, my grandmother ended up passing away on the same evening we got engaged. Because she broke the news without asking me first, the word got around and I had a lot of family finding out the exciting news in the days prior (or even some of them AT) the funeral. I would have really loved to wait until after the services were over and a few days had passed to announce it, and in my own way. I know my FSIL didn't know about my grandmother, so she can't be held responsible for all of that, but on the other hand, I feel like this was a case of she should have just let us announce the joyous news ourselves out of respect.
Now, whenever people are asking me about any details (dress, flowers, etc), she just can't stop from making it about her! If I show someone a picture of a gown I'd like to try on, she pulls out her phone and shows them her favorite wedding dress pics and then she will post it to Instagram with a caption "The most beautiful gown in the world! It will be mine!" She's not getting married, she's not engaged or in a serious relationship, so why act like she's planning a wedding too?
Oh, and she full on asked me if she was a bridesmaid. It's not a big deal, because I was going to ask her anyway, but I had planned to ask all the girls about 10 months prior to the big day, so I felt kind of pushed. I explained to her that I'll be formally asking the bridesmaids at some point in the near future, but that, of course, she would be one of the girls I asked. I don't know if that was the right answer, but I was kind of put on the spot.
Based on her behavior, it just seems like she can't handle the attention not all being on her. This is no surprise, I've known her for years, and that's very consistent with her personality. But now that I'm a bride, there are some moments that I kind of want for myself or for my fiancé and I alone (not trying to sound selfish). Does anyone have any ideas on how to tame this spotlight-craving FSIL? I would love to include her on wedding plans and pre-wedding events, but I don't want her putting on a show starring herself.