Wedding 911

Will you be my bridesmaid?

Hello, 

I am stuck on how to ask my ladies to be my bridesmaids. I want to use a ring pop to "pop" the question but I also don't want that to be all, it feels too plain.  I was also thinking of creating a bridesmaid survival kit which would include (but not limited to):
  • tissues
  • a cute headband a bought each of them that matches my colors and theme
  • a mini bottle of their fav alcohol
  • fav candy
  • deodorant
  • floss
  • tide to go pen
  • breath mints
  • band aids
  • advil
  • nail file
  • pepto
  • comb
  • mini lint roller
  • bobby pins
  • lip gloss
  • baby wipes
So I guess I have some questions for ya'll: 1) what else should I do for the bridesmaid proposal?  2) when should I give my ladies their survival kit? 3) is this different than what I would get as a bridal survival wedding kit? and would I make my own or just my ladies'? 

Thanks!! I appreciate your help :) 

Re: Will you be my bridesmaid?

  • 1) I would keep your "proposal" simple, and in private, so the girls don't feel too pressured to be your BM. I had a friend ask me in a group with a big gesture, and I was unavailable that day because I was going out of the country for research. It was super awkward to say no in a group, even with a legitimate reason, and after she had gotten us gifts and whatnot.

    2) If you're going to do survival kits, I'd give them to them the night before the wedding, or the morning of the wedding. Don't make this part of their gift though. The gift should be something separate from your wedding. Jewelry and accessories for your wedding don't count, but should be bought by you if they're required.

    3) I would add a needle and thread to yours, and maybe some baby powder for your thighs if you don't have an anti-chafing product. I'm making myself a survival kit for the day, and it will include most of those things. 

    Good luck and happy planning!

    Knottie37373131
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    1. Just call them up individually and ask, or go out to lunch with them individually. Making a bigger deal out of it is a lot of pressure on whoever you're asking.

    2. Right before the wedding, after you give them their gifts.

    3. That, I have no idea about.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    1) "Survival kits" are dumb and a waste of money. Most adults are typically are very prepared on a daily basis and will be so on the day of your wedding. 2) Do not give them to your BMs at all. 3) Just make up one bag of essentials that everyone can grab from if they need something. Deodorant, shout wipes, nail file, hairspray, perfume spray, mirror, needle and thread, safety pins, etc. There is no need for each person to have their own "survival kit".

    TeddiD34
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I really don't like this trend of an over-the-top production to ask people to be in your wedding. Just ask. I took my MOH out to dinner and asked her. She cried. It was really sweet and wonderful and awesome. I also agree that the survival kit is a waste of money.

    TeddiD34Knottie92171215
  • I bought a pretty, custom notecard on Etsy to ask my MOH.  I think something heartfelt, like a note, is better than a bunch of "stuff" like little bottles that you have to find a place to put.  Everyone has too much stuff.  Everyone.  We all wish our homes were less cluttered.  Don't add to clutter.
    Knottie37373131
  • Just ask them each individually, and not in a group.   Survival kits are nice, but I would honestly just do one big kit for you and your BMs to have on the wedding day.  No one needs a personalized kit with that stuff in it, since 90% of it will go unused. 
    TeddiD34
  • djfiveninedjfivenine member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
    edited July 2014
    All of my girls live out of town, so I sent them each a really lovely "will you be my bridesmaid?" card from Paper Source.  When they received it, they all called me and said "YES!" and then we talked for a few minutes about how excited we both were for the wedding.  But by sending them a card (since I couldn't see them in person) they were able to make the decision on their own without pressure. 

    ETA: Here are the cards I used.  They are expensive for cards but waaaay cheaper than some over-the-top gift
    http://www.papersource.com/item/Rifle-Will-You-Be-My-Bridesmaid-Floral-Stationery/569105.html
    Knottie37373131
  • All of my girls live out of town, so I sent them each a really lovely "will you be my bridesmaid?" card from Paper Source.  When they received it, they all called me and said "YES!" and then we talked for a few minutes about how excited we both were for the wedding.  But by sending them a card (since I couldn't see them in person) they were able to make the decision on their own without pressure. 

    ETA: Here are the cards I used.  They are expensive for cards but waaaay cheaper than some over-the-top gift
    http://www.papersource.com/item/Rifle-Will-You-Be-My-Bridesmaid-Floral-Stationery/569105.html
    Just make sure to follow up if the guys/gals that you ask don't get back to you.  I remember reading on here a little while ago that someone ended up in an awkward situation because the bride sent her a card and it sat in a pile of mail for too long.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    mspeer22 said:
    Hello, 

    I am stuck on how to ask my ladies to be my bridesmaids. I want to use a ring pop to "pop" the question but I also don't want that to be all, it feels too plain.  I was also thinking of creating a bridesmaid survival kit which would include (but not limited to):
    • tissues
    • a cute headband a bought each of them that matches my colors and theme
    • a mini bottle of their fav alcohol
    • fav candy
    • deodorant
    • floss
    • tide to go pen
    • breath mints
    • band aids
    • advil
    • nail file
    • pepto
    • comb
    • mini lint roller
    • bobby pins
    • lip gloss
    • baby wipes
    So I guess I have some questions for ya'll: 1) what else should I do for the bridesmaid proposal?  2) when should I give my ladies their survival kit? 3) is this different than what I would get as a bridal survival wedding kit? and would I make my own or just my ladies'? 

    Thanks!! I appreciate your help :) 
     
    (SITB)
    Please dont give your girls baby wipes and pepto. No one wants that. And its certainly not a gift. If you insist on doing this, dont make more than one.
     
    the "BM proposal" was something created by pinterest. Ask you girls individually. Then ask them their budgets.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I agree with PP, there's no need to ask in a group or do something over the top.   

    I asked my BMs in a very casual manner: I asked two of them (including my MOH) by text, but that's the main way I communicate with them.  The other two I asked in person, but not in any kind of special way, just during our normal weekly game night.

  • I asked my girls with a ring pop.  I just put it in a little baggy and asked them, for the most part, in private.  The one I didn't ask in private was 16 and was with her mom.  It was that little bit extra, but not a big production.  And the girls ate the ring pops. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Just ask each one individually without "popping" the question.
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