Head table

Re: Head table

• lilacck28 member

  

  July 2014 edited July 2014

  Ask the parents what they would prefer. Mine would have been horrified to have been placed at a different table than me without being consulted, especially at that age. Be prepared for them to prefer to be with their child. You kind of forfeited the adults only thing when you invited children. 

  
  

  If you want to avoid that, I think you could also forgo the strict all bm and gm at the head table thing. Then your flower girl and her parents could all sit with the grandparents, some other bm and gm could sit with people they are close to, and you could sit with some bm, gm, and others you are very close with, or you could just sit with your parents. 

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• kmmssg mod

  

  July 2014 edited July 2014

  Well, here is my thought as a Nana of 6.  Why would YOU DECIDE to make it MY responsibility to watch the 4 year old when her parents are in attendance?  I love my grandchildren but when I am an invited guest to a wedding I might REALLY be looking forward to an adult dinner and visiting rather than being told I have babysitting duty.

  
  

  If the child's parents are right there, she should be with them.

  
  

  ETA - kudos to you for not separating your bridal party from their partners!

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• lilacck28 member

  

  July 2014 edited July 2014

  OH! thank you @kmmssg . Yeah, OP you need to ask the grandparents as well. I don't know what order you should talk to them though... 

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• kmmssg mod

  

  July 2014

  I don't think they should be asked.  It puts them in a position to feel like they have to watch the child.

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• lilacck28 member

  

  July 2014

  kmmssg said:

  I don't think they should be asked.  It puts them in a position to feel like they have to watch the child.

  That's true. I know in my fiance's family though, that there is a set of grandparents that said they WANT to sit with their grandkids. They brought it up though. 

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• JCbride2015 member

  

  July 2014

  I think you must seat the FG with her parents at the head table. Ask the 13-yo and his parents where he would prefer to sit.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  July 2014

  Keep the child with her parents.  If you don't want to have any children at the captain's table (that's what they call a head table with SOs), then skip it all together and have a sweetheart's table.  Then you can seat your WP around the room at different tables with people they know.  It is also a great time so you can have some private time with your new H.

  

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• landa10315 member

  

  July 2014

  Sweetheart tables are more popular here, and I wouldn't have it any other way at my wedding. I will be sitting with my bridal party at my rehearsal dinner, and spending time with them at events prior to the wedding, and it will be so nice to have the few minutes alone that I can get with my FI on our wedding day at our own table. It seems like it would be a good idea in your case so you can seat families together and not worry about breaking people up.

  

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• indianaalum member

  

  July 2014

  Sit her with her parents. What do you think actually happens at the head table? People eat dinner. that's about it. Nothing really special happens there that a 4 year old can't be a part of. She is not a "prop" that has to be hidden once the ceremony is over. She should be able to sit by her parents

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  July 2014

  If you don't want a sweetheart table, you could also just sit at a table with your Best Man and MOH and their dates. Then the other people in the wedding party can sit with their friends and/or family.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• larrygaga member

  

  July 2014 edited July 2014

  IDK if you ever saw a 4 year old eat, especially in dress clothes, but I sugesst letting her parents take care of that mess. I have yet to meet a 4 year old that could eat without some supervision. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• April192002 member

  

  July 2014

  For the time being we're planning on having our kids sit with us (10,12,13) rather than pawning them off on our parents. Depending on how many kids RSVP we may have an extra table or two if the kids want to sit together, but it's mostly family who already know each other.
  
  IF you are still considering asking about the FG sitting with Grandma, I would approach it as you're doing the seating chart and you're wondering if FG is more likly to sit with them or Grandma, and IF Grandma would she mind. Don't mention wanting an adults only table or suggest that you're really even hinting at it (because you shouldn't be). If given a choice my son would rather sit with any of his Grandparents just to spend more time with them, but they're also likely to trade him seats so he can sit where he wants.

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• twitterbird member

  

  July 2014

  I was in a wedding the weekend and the 2 flower girls and ring bearer sat at the head table. Both of their parents were in the wedding as well (the 3 kids are siblings). They were well behaved and very cute. The ring bearer was the youngest of the 3 and he is almost 4. The bride and groom had chicken nuggets and fries for them as well as an activity book. Both sets of their grandparents were in attendance.

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• bridet0be15 member

  

  July 2014

  That all makes sense.  I did not think of all that! Thank you all.  I am only having family for kids (ie cousins and our niece and my little brother).  We will have a kids table but the youngest would be 11 which I think is fine to be without their parents and I know their parents would want it that way because of previous discussions.  However, I know the 4 year old would need to be with an adult and I think she will feel big at the head table!  Thanks again!

  
  

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