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Is it too late for an engagement party?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Help! My fiance and I got engaged this past March and he is moving into the city with me this August.. We were waiting to host a sort of engagement party or dinner once we were both in the same location, but now I'm thinking it might seem odd to host this sort of event so many months after getting engaged.. Our wedding isn't until June 3, 2016 though.. I'm really unclear as to the "rules" and such when it comes to hosting parties (i.e., engagement party, bridal shower, etc.). Is it too late? Thanks!
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Re: Is it too late for an engagement party?

  • NorthrendNorthrend member
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    Well you don't host your own engagement party in the first place.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @Northrend, that I am aware of. Haha. I suppose I should've worded that differently.. My maid of honor would be hosting, but since we would both be planning it, I made the post.
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  • mrsmorales2bemrsmorales2be mod
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    As Northrend said, you will not be hosting, and shouldn't be directly involved in planning the engagement party, but otherwise, sure. Have fun celebrating your new engagement.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @mrsmorales2be, Thank you!
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    I highly recommend having your username changed. The internet is a crazy place and it's super easy for the wrong type of people to find you!

     







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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    This is really up to your MOH.  You shouldn't be directly involved in the planning; just let her take the lead on it entirely.

    That said, no, I don't think it's too late for an engagement party.  If you have the party in August you will have been engaged for 5 months.  That's fine IMO.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @JCbride2015, "let her take the lead on it entirely".. Now you're making me laugh, not in a bad way. Haha. Thanks!
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    Although I'll add this.  Be careful about choosing your wedding party this far out.  Relationships can change a lot in the next two years.  Honestly-- especially because you are at the age where you're finishing college and entering the workforce.  It's a time of a lot of social change.  If you haven't already asked your WP, you may not want to lock yourself in to MOH/BMs until closer to the wedding, like 8 months to a year in advance.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    taylornoelmayfield said:
    @JCbride2015, "let her take the lead on it entirely".. Now you're making me laugh, not in a bad way. Haha. Thanks!
    Haha. Do you mean that she doesn't want to take the lead on it or something? Is she not a good planner?
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    She can't wait to plan things and is very good planner, but these ideas she's throwing my way are terrifying! Haha.

    She's the type to take me to Vegas, where I'm the type who'd love a good hiking trip with a group of friends.

    As for your comment on the WP, I agree 100%.. Though I've asked three members, I am waiting on the other two, because like you said, relationships change. :)
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The only parts you really get to play in the planning are helping set the date (so you know it's convenient for you and your VIPs) and providing a guest list to the host that is within the limit she gives you.  Also remember that everyone invited to the engagement party must also be invited to the wedding, no excuses. So if you invite 150 people now, and your situation drastically changes in the next two years, you're still stuck with inviting all those people.  So I'd keep it small and to VIPs only. I can't imagine that you've set a guest list this far out, and like PP said, relationships and situations can change a lot in 2 years.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    taylornoelmayfield said:
    She can't wait to plan things and is very good planner, but these ideas she's throwing my way are terrifying! Haha.

    She's the type to take me to Vegas, where I'm the type who'd love a good hiking trip with a group of friends.

    As for your comment on the WP, I agree 100%.. Though I've asked three members, I am waiting on the other two, because like you said, relationships change. :)
    I see.  Going to Vegas sounds more like a bach party kind of thing.  I'd just tell her to please be conscious of everyone's budget, and you'd prefer something lower-key.  We usually say the bride shouldn't help plan the bach, but I think veto-ing an expensive destination activity is OK.

    As for the e-party, it's usually just a small, low-key gathering of family and close friends.  Ours was a brunch at a restaurant.  Many e-parties are held at home.  If she's trying to plan a Vegas e-party... send your MOH over here so she can ask what is appropriate!
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited July 2014
    Engagement parties, like bridal showers, are completely optional.  Many people do not get them.  My own daughter didn't because we live 2000 miles apart.  They are traditionally hosted by the bride's parents to announce the engagement to family and friends.  Lately, some people have been treating them as a party-blow out for friends.  This is not traditional.  If you do have an engagement party, you should not be directly involved in the planning, except for the guest list.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    Can you not just invite people over to a cocktail party and not make it an engagement party? Or host a dinner party? Or rent a private room at a bar for a few hours?

    Does no one else just throw parties anymore? As long as it isn't an engagement party you can do whatever you want, and introducing FI to your local circle would seem like a great reason for one.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @STARMOON44, this is the kind of thing I was aiming for! I just want to have a get together at a nice restaurant in the city with our friends.. Wasn't sure if it was too late for a thing like that though since we would be doing it to sort of celebrate our engagement.
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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
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    awilbornwedding said:
    @STARMOON44, this is the kind of thing I was aiming for! I just want to have a get together at a nice restaurant in the city with our friends.. Wasn't sure if it was too late for a thing like that though since we would be doing it to sort of celebrate our engagement.
    It's fine to do it, but don't call it any sort of engagement party. Naturally people will ask about the engagement, but just don't put in the the plans. 

    Have a fabulous dinner party!
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