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In laws...

ashleyt945ashleyt945 member
Second Anniversary
in Wedding Woes
Our wedding is going to be in my fiance's parents' backyard. I was really against it for a long time, but our budget was really tight and they assured me that we could make it our dream wedding. Now we are less than 3 months away and I am really regretting my decision. The lawn where the ceremony is being held is completely dead. I realize we are in a drought and there may not be a lot they can do about it, but they don't even see the problem. They don't think it's a big deal at all. I think that's what bothers me the most. They act like the whole wedding is being overblown, which I can assure you is not. Not to mention, my future mother-in-law wants to make the appetizers. Her heart is in the right place, but our caterer does a beautiful table of appetizers and I really want to use them. Her attitude about everything else makes me afraid that any appetizers she makes will be more for a barbecue instead of a wedding. They just know their wedding from the 70's and have no idea how different things are now. Plus their taste is not mine and they don't seem to get that. I don't want to argue with them or cause problems. I know they mean well and are not trying to upset me,but I just want them to hear me. I don't know what to do anymore.
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Re: In laws...

  • cupcake985cupcake985 member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    Hmm maybe she is offering to make the appetizers to help cut down the costs of catering?  You could say they gave you a great deal and would rather just have them prepare all the food since there will be so much else going on.  You can suggest she do something else instead. Or you can say that the appetizers are already included.  I have the same issue with my fiance's parents being very old fashioned and not wanting us to spend any money on a wedding.  Just say you appreciate all that they are doing but you had a certain look you were envisioning.  Maybe show them pictures so they are familiar with what you were thinking.  Unfortunately, not every single detail of your day will be perfect, that is every wedding.  Most people will not notice.  As for the lawn, get them a sprinkler and ask them to start using it daily!  Good luck and try not to stress.
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  • mrsmorales2bemrsmorales2be mod
    500 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Ultimately, the lawn isn't going to matter, I promise.  No one is going to be looking at the lawn.  There's probably not a lot you can do about it anyway, because things like draught conditions aren't something you can change.  Take a deep breath, and worry about things you can control.  As far as the appetizers, if you're paying, you have the say-so.  Tell FMIL that the appetizers are covered, and FMIL will just have to deal.  If they're paying, you're going to have to accept the lovely appetizers she's graciously providing.

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    xoangelxoabbs said:
    Hmm maybe she is offering to make the appetizers to help cut down the costs of catering?  You could say they gave you a great deal and would rather just have them prepare all the food since there will be so much else going on.  You can suggest she do something else instead. Or you can say that the appetizers are already included.  I have the same issue with my fiance's parents being very old fashioned and not wanting us to spend any money on a wedding.  Just say you appreciate all that they are doing but you had a certain look you were envisioning.  Maybe show them pictures so they are familiar with what you were thinking.  Unfortunately, not every single detail of your day will be perfect, that is every wedding.  Most people will not notice.  As for the lawn, get them a sprinkler and ask them to start using it daily!  Good luck and try not to stress.
    She said they're in a drought!  No using a sprinkler daily. 



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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    ashleyt945 said:
    Our wedding is going to be in my fiance's parents' backyard. I was really against it for a long time, but our budget was really tight and they assured me that we could make it our dream wedding. Now we are less than 3 months away and I am really regretting my decision. The lawn where the ceremony is being held is completely dead. I realize we are in a drought and there may not be a lot they can do about it, but they don't even see the problem. They don't think it's a big deal at all. I think that's what bothers me the most. They act like the whole wedding is being overblown, which I can assure you is not. Not to mention, my future mother-in-law wants to make the appetizers. Her heart is in the right place, but our caterer does a beautiful table of appetizers and I really want to use them. Her attitude about everything else makes me afraid that any appetizers she makes will be more for a barbecue instead of a wedding. They just know their wedding from the 70's and have no idea how different things are now. Plus their taste is not mine and they don't seem to get that. I don't want to argue with them or cause problems. I know they mean well and are not trying to upset me,but I just want them to hear me. I don't know what to do anymore.
    There is nothing wrong with serving barbecue at a wedding, for the record. It's not nice of you to judge what type of wedding anyone else might have. Just say, "We have that taken care of already, but thank you for the offer," and carry on. And three months is plenty of time for a drought to end and grass to grow. But really, no one's going to be looking at the grass, dead or not, so you need to relax and let it go.
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