Wedding Etiquette Forum

Assisting a friend - announcement after private wedding?

Hello!

My friend got engaged several months ago. They were planning a November 2016 wedding but have decided to get married this week at city hall instead. They will both have family present (limited to 15 guests by the courthouse) and it's not a rush job due to an ill relative or anything - she wants to send an announcement to the family and friends that won't know about it ahead of time. It's secret, but not for a bad reason...I guess so that it can go easily and not be stressful. Money is very tight for them and that can be a motive to go the courthouse route...also both of his parents died in the past year so sometimes wedding planning without parents just isn't want people want anymore.

When I google for this kind of announcement I get info for people holding a dinner or throwing a party later on so it is also an invite combo but this will not be the case. They still want to plan on a party in 2016 but obviously way too early to talk about that on the mailing!

Is there any kind of announcement that would be appropriate? Perhaps a picture of them from that day with a quick note? Nothing corny like "we couldn't wait any longer" or god forbid a poem. She asked for my help either because I am aware of wedding etiquette or because I have an English degree and people take that to mean I can be a creative writer. I want to help but can't think of a way that is okay to do this! So any constructive suggestions?

Re: Assisting a friend - announcement after private wedding?

  • hollycs said:
    Hello!

    My friend got engaged several months ago. They were planning a November 2016 wedding but have decided to get married this week at city hall instead. They will both have family present (limited to 15 guests by the courthouse) and it's not a rush job due to an ill relative or anything - she wants to send an announcement to the family and friends that won't know about it ahead of time. It's secret, but not for a bad reason...I guess so that it can go easily and not be stressful. Money is very tight for them and that can be a motive to go the courthouse route...also both of his parents died in the past year so sometimes wedding planning without parents just isn't want people want anymore.

    When I google for this kind of announcement I get info for people holding a dinner or throwing a party later on so it is also an invite combo but this will not be the case. They still want to plan on a party in 2016 but obviously way too early to talk about that on the mailing!

    Is there any kind of announcement that would be appropriate? Perhaps a picture of them from that day with a quick note? Nothing corny like "we couldn't wait any longer" or god forbid a poem. She asked for my help either because I am aware of wedding etiquette or because I have an English degree and people take that to mean I can be a creative writer. I want to help but can't think of a way that is okay to do this! So any constructive suggestions?
    Google wedding announcement wording. It's pretty classic. @CMGragain knows this stuff cold.
  • Right, they just seem too formal or skirt around the whole "sorry we didn't tell you" part of it.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2014
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    Date
    City. State

    No other information is proper unless the couple are changing address.  It is then OK to say,

    At home after (date of honeymoon end + a few days)
    New Address
    City, State
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2014
    hollycs said:
    Right, they just seem too formal or skirt around the whole "sorry we didn't tell you" part of it.
    They ARE formal by their very nature.  There is nothing cute or informal about changing your legal status to being married.  Details, or explanations are rude and inappropriate, as in "We got married this week, and you weren't invited, but we had a lovely wedding!"  Just the basic, formal wording is all that is required.  It is like announcing your marriage in the newspaper, but more personal.
    The announcement card will prompt cards of congratulations, and when you see these people, you can tell them about the wedding in person.  You do not apologize for getting married.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Thank you everybody, I was not certain it was appropriate to send this announcement as it will surprise some of their family members! I appreciate the input and now feel happy to help her make these.
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2014
    I would use CMGR's wording. You can find wedding announcements on places like Wedding Paper Divas that have the same or similar wording along with a spot for a photo. I think Shutterfly might have some too.

    As far as a party, they could still have one next year and call it an "Anniversary" party. 

    My friends had a small wedding (10-11 people) because they had just graduated from college and didn't have much money. Now that they've been married for eight years and have good jobs, they're planning a HUGE 10-year anniversary party - catering, DJ, the works.
  • Yes, definitely the party when they can afford and want it! I was just making sure announcements weren't considered rude or tacky by this group - because the recipients largely won't know until this arrives in the mail.
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