I just need to vent a little bit about the family I'm marrying into. Let me first start by saying that I truly love FI's family. They are wonderful people...a huge, very loving family. They just apparently have absolutely no clue what is or is not acceptable, etiquette-wise. Hence the vent.
FI and I have been together for 4 years. Last summer, we attended his cousin's wedding. We were invited as a unit, along with our two children, which is awesome. About two weeks before the wedding, cousin called up FI and asked if he could please be an usher. This required the renting of a tux, (at our expense, obviously) and walking the MOG down the aisle. Don't even get me started on the last-minute request. FI agreed because he didn't want to hurt his cousin's feelings, we rented the tux, and attended the rehearsal, RD and wedding. At the wedding, they had a head table where FI was seated. I and our two children were seated at a table in a side room off of the main room, with people that we barely knew. FI and I were *pissed* that we were not only not seated at the same table during dinner, but not even in the same room. Ugh.
I was also invited within the same few months to a shower that the family was having for another cousin, who was having her 4th baby in 6 years (with showers for each, of which I had already attended and brought gifts for two)!
Fast forward to now. Another cousin is pregnant with her second child in less than two years (the first child just had his first birthday yesterday, and she is 30 weeks along with the second). The one-year-old is a boy, and they are expecting another boy, and yet they are having a second shower for this baby. A shower that is being thrown by the grandmother of the babies (FI's aunt).
I'm really tolerant of a lot of crap, and I've dealt with a lot of second (& third, & fourth) showers and other etiquette missteps from this family, but the straw that's breaking the camel's back right now is from yet another cousin & his wife. They're expecting their 3rd child in as many years, and the husband/father is throwing a baby shower for his wife/the mom! He has invited everyone they know via Facebook invite, and keeps sharing the invite over and over (along with registry information).
I know that all I can do about these showers etiquette-wise is to politely decline, which I will do (and have done in the past for all of the other 2nd and subsequent showers this family has had recently). I'm just venting my ass off, because the family doesn't see anything at all wrong with any of it. They also don't have a problem inviting anyone and everyone to wedding/bridal showers, whether or not those folks are invited to the wedding. They also love to B-list.
I just want my wedding to be a shining example of etiquette to these people. I'm already getting flak for not inviting waaaay more people than my venue will hold, because "you'll get so many declines!"
Ugh. Thanks for the ear, y'all.