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Moms and Maids

can I have two maids of honor?

I was engaged before and when the  engagement was broken off I told my sister that when I did get married that she would be my moh. Sense then we have become a lot less close and she has other issues in her life. My best friend is the one that wants to be there for me and do things with me wedding related and I think that if she does the work she should have the title. I love my sister and I would love to plan my wedding with her but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. So I will plan it with someone that might as well be my sister. Tia

Re: can I have two maids of honor?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I was engaged before and when the  engagement was broken off I told my sister that when I did get married that she would be my moh. Sense then we have become a lot less close and she has other issues in her life. My best friend is the one that wants to be there for me and do things with me wedding related and I think that if she does the work she should have the title. I love my sister and I would love to plan my wedding with her but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. So I will plan it with someone that might as well be my sister. Tia
    You should never choose an MOH or bridesmaid based on the bolded.  There is no "work" that any attendant is required to do.  The fact that your best friend wants to do it doesn't mean it's her "job" or "duty" to do anything other than get the designated outfit and show up in it on time, sober, and in good spirits.

    That said, it is okay to have multiple MOHs.
  • I have 2, you can have as many or as few as you want its your wedding. If your sister is that unavailable then just make her a bridesmaid. She's still involved and can help with planning with out feeling obligated to take on more than she can. That beign said bridal party members are not obligated to do anything other than show up at the correct place, time, and in the appropriate attire, hopefully sober.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You can have as many as you want or none. But absolutely do not choose based on who does more "work" for you. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I'm having three. I have three best friends, and we're all best friends with each other. We have been a "unit" since freshman year of high school (12 years). There's no way I could pick one over the other. At the time, I wished I had had a sister or another close female family member so I would have an easy MOH pick, but deciding to make all three co-MOHs is working out really well. Two of them live in the same city as me, and they are happy to help with all the planning/DIY projects. The other lives in NYC, so while she probably won't be around as much, she will be my MOH on the day (the one that stands next to me/holds the bouquet/etc.) I have three other bridesmaids who are current and future SILs, and my best friends will share the distinguished Co-Maid of Honor title. They even came up with the idea of doing a joint speech, that they will link together and practice and make sure that it doesn't get too sappy or go on too long. I was really excited about that, because the whole idea of three separate speeches was not resonating well with me.
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Simple answer: yes.

    Long answer: yes. However, just because your friend is "putting in the work" does not mean you have to ask her. There is no additional "work" in being MOH than there would be for a BM. Your MOH is the person you are closest to. If you want two, have two. But not because one is obligatory and the other is your pack mule.

    [Deleted User]
  • I have 2. I say go for it.
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    Anniversary
  • Go for both of them. I wanted to have two MOHs and my fiancé said it was strange. I gave into him, and have regretted it ever since. So pick as many or as few as you want!
  • danamwdanamw member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper

    Have as many as you want. I was in a wedding where I was deemed "Maid of Honor" because I wasn't married at the time, and another girl was "Matron of Honor" because she was married.

    I wasn't told til after the ceremony who was going to sign the marriage license! It turned out to be me, but I was batshit. I kept asking, and getting the answer "we haven't thought about it"

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