Just Engaged and Proposals

Location argument :-/

We're from 2 different states, and have both lived in another state for several years. My family is in PA. His is in GA. We own a house in GA.
My father (in his 50s) is having major spinal surgery, and may not be fully recovered by our wedding date.
His parents are in their 80s and apparently refuse to fly.
I've always wanted to get married at my dad's, plus, we wouldn't have any expenses (rentals for reception, hotels, food) if it was there. He asked his parents to come up for the wedding, and they refused to. Refused to fly, and "don't want to" take a road trip up there (even if we were driving them). Although his parents are older, they can get around pretty well. My dad will barely be able to walk me down the aisle :-(

What can I say or do to get them to have the wedding at my dad's??!!! I agreed to just having it in their backyard, but the more I think about it, I don't want to. My family wouldn't be able to make it (Dad would obviously suffer enough to have my brothers drive him down), and the few that would come, would have to pay for hotels 30min away. Only 4-6 people total would be coming for him--even with it in GA. My family's house is large enough to provide them all rooms, plus the neighbor said they'd lend us their summer house for the weekend....so basically they're not paying for a single thing!! ugh...I'm just so stressed :-(

FYI--this is his 3rd wedding/marriage and my 2nd marriage (I eloped to the courthouse the first time)
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Re: Location argument :-/

  • This is a hard one.  In the end, wherever you choose, someone's family will be left out.  So what it comes down to is what you and your FI want to do.  What is your FI's feelings on his parents refusal to travel for his wedding?  Does he care if they are there?  

    Typically we tell brides to check with their VIP guests in regards to date and location before making any decisions.  You have done this and know that depending on where you get married one set of parents/family won't be able to make it.

    Have you considered pushing out your wedding date until your Dad is fully recovered from his surgery to travel?  Besides doing that, you and your FI need to decide what is best for the both of you and go from there.

  • My FI and I are expecting his parents to not come to the wedding next year, because his 82-year old dad thinks the 5-hour drive is too far, and we've offered up our house for them to stay as well.  I know how disappointing it is.  :(  I hope it all works out for you!
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  • Where does your FI want to have the wedding? 

    My FFIL is pretty much refusing to come to our wedding. He keeps saying the trip up from Florida (we're in NY) will be too much for him. We've offered him numerous options. He's pretty much holding firm. At this point, there's not much we can do. FI is pretty hurt though. 
  • Many relatives did not attend my daughter's wedding, even though we offered to pay airfare and hotel.  There is nothing you can do.  Sorry for the disappointment.
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