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invitation etiquette

qdeeds22qdeeds22 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
To help keep our #s down (for financial reasons and venue restrictions) we have decided to only invite our families out to 1st cousins. So, our first cousins are invited, but not their children. However, my first cousins (invited) on one side of my family are the same age as my 1st cousins' kids (second cousins? first cousins once removed? i never understood that stuff. anyways, they're not invited) on the other side. We made the cutoff to simplify things, but I worry my first cousins will wonder why their kids are not invited, when there are other similarly aged children there. 
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Re: invitation etiquette

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
     

    My family is also has close to or even overlapping generations.  I only invited out to my 1st cousins and didn't invite any of their kids.  Our family is so big they understand cuts need to be made.  Since no other cousin's kids are invite it's was quite clear where they line was drawn,






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • qdeeds22qdeeds22 member
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    Thanks for the advice... this whole invite list thing is trickier than I ever could have imagined.

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    It can get tricker.  And sure some might be miffed, but I find telling the family loud mouth that only up to first cousins are invited people tend to understand.  If they don't, not much you can do.  

    If I added the next generation it would add something like 45+ cousins alone.  A lot of them are already married with their own kids.  If you add SO it would be close to 60 or more.  I don't even want to think of  the next generation after that.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
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    qdeeds22 said:
    Thanks for the advice... this whole invite list thing is trickier than I ever could have imagined.


    SIB:

    I feel you! It sounds like you're doing everything correctly.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    qdeeds22 said:
    To help keep our #s down (for financial reasons and venue restrictions) we have decided to only invite our families out to 1st cousins. So, our first cousins are invited, but not their children. However, my first cousins (invited) on one side of my family are the same age as my 1st cousins' kids (second cousins? first cousins once removed? i never understood that stuff. anyways, they're not invited) on the other side. We made the cutoff to simplify things, but I worry my first cousins will wonder why their kids are not invited, when there are other similarly aged children there. 
    They're on different sides of the family (I'm assuming your mom's side and your dad's side?) so I wouldn't worry about it. I invited 1st cousin once removed and a second cousin (child) on my mom's side, but didn't invite all of my first cousin's on my dad's side. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    There is no rule about who must, or must not, be invited to your wedding.  It is the choice of the person who is hosting (also paying).  Nobody has the right to demand an invitation.  That would be very rude!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
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    qdeeds22 said:
    To help keep our #s down (for financial reasons and venue restrictions) we have decided to only invite our families out to 1st cousins. So, our first cousins are invited, but not their children. However, my first cousins (invited) on one side of my family are the same age as my 1st cousins' kids (second cousins? first cousins once removed? i never understood that stuff. anyways, they're not invited) on the other side. We made the cutoff to simplify things, but I worry my first cousins will wonder why their kids are not invited, when there are other similarly aged children there. 
    Your first cousins' kids are your first cousins once removed. Your potential children and your first cousins' children would be second cousins. 
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    You're fine. It's totally okay to invite your first cousins who are kids, but not your cousin's children. We planned on doing the same thing (and then it was only 3 kids so we didn't care)
    Anniversary
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