October 2014 Weddings

October 4th Bride questions about sending out of invitations and getting RSVP's Back??? :)

Hello, Ladies

So my Fiance and I are getting married on October 4th 2014 here in Missouri we have several invites going to out of town guests we sent out Save the dates just last week with a sticker on the back of them with our wedding website information on it so they could check out our wedding website. My question is since we do have people coming from out of town and we have to give our head count to the reception hall on September 5th would it be to early to send out the invitations on June 20th with a RSVP respond date of August 22nd? So we have time to contact people whose RSVPs hadn't came back yet and still have time to get the reception hall the head count on time. Just curious as I know the rule is sending it out 8 weeks before the wedding with a RSVP by 4 weeks of the wedding but I'm concerned if I do that I won't get RSVP's back on time. Any other Brides having this dilemma also?

Re: October 4th Bride questions about sending out of invitations and getting RSVP's Back??? :)

  • June is super super early. Why not have the RSVP date August 29th. That will give you a week to hunt people down. Since you're asking for them back so early, why not sending them the first week in August? I know if I got something 5 months ahead of time I would set it aside and accidentally forget about it. 
    TeddiD34ashley8918
  • TC2BE2014TC2BE2014 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited March 2014
    Thanks for the information i'm going to check with the reception hall and ask them if I can pay the last payment and give the final head count on September the 12th and then send the invites out on July 11th with a response back on September the 5th so I still have a week to get the head count together.
  • July is still really early. I would send them out no earlier than August 1st. 
    TeddiD34ashley8918
  • My wedding is October 11th, and I'm planning on sending out my invites in mid-July. I don't think its too early, or too late, its just what is right for us! My advice is to do what is right for you and your wedding. If your venue needs ample time to prepare then that is when you have to send out your invites. I'm sure your guests won't mind!



    shannonjocampbell
  • Jean0715 said:
    June is super super early. Why not have the RSVP date August 29th. That will give you a week to hunt people down. Since you're asking for them back so early, why not sending them the first week in August? I know if I got something 5 months ahead of time I would set it aside and accidentally forget about it. 
    This is sound advice. It DOES matter when you send these out.

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    LDay2014Pepperally
  • Jean0715 said:
    June is super super early. Why not have the RSVP date August 29th. That will give you a week to hunt people down. Since you're asking for them back so early, why not sending them the first week in August? I know if I got something 5 months ahead of time I would set it aside and accidentally forget about it. 
    I'm october 4 too, I'll be sending them out the first week of August with an RSVP date two weeks before.  Can you not go back to your vendors and re-negotiate your count date?
  • @LDay2014 we're weekend buddies! I'm the 5th! We're sending ours out August 8th and having the RSVP date September 13th. Its a week earlier than I would have liked but thats also the deadline for our room block. 

    9/13 RSVP = 9/13 Room Block ends. It just seemed logical to keep them the same to make it easier. Plus it gives me like 3 extra days to wait for late RSVPs before I start head hunting. :) 
  • I'm Oct. 4th as well and somewhat in a similar situation. My fiance' and I will be moving in June so we definitely will not be sending them until around July-August. I come across the problem that I just want stuff done and the sooner I almost feel like the better sometimes. Our wedding is out of state for everyone who will be coming (including ourselves) so I'm not sure if they may need more of a notice or not. I am curious to see what other people say.
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    @Jean0715, I'm Oct 5 too!

    I'll be sending mine out in September, but I'm having a very intimate wedding with only a handful of immediate family as guests.
  • is it bad to send them out in sept?? iI figure they can turn around and put the rsvp card in the mail. 
  • Our hotel room block requires that guests using that room block book by September 4th (which seems really early in my opinion), so we are sending our invitations at the end of July or beginning of August to make sure that our guests have time to book a room.
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  • We're also getting married 10-04-14, but out of state. Because there will be quite a few friends and family flying into WA, we sent our save the dates out early and I'm planning on sending the invitations out 07/09/14 with an RSVP date of 08/20/14. You could always send your invitations out in phases- we're doing the A group then depending on how many no's you get, send out the B group.
  • Nep5411-
    I started planning and booking things the week after our engagement. I was thinking that the sooner things are booked, the less stress. Not so much lol. If you get all the big stuff taken care of sooner, I think you'll be good. And one thing I'm learning is I need to pass some things on to my bridal party.
    Good luck :-)
    trishnuk8
  • I'm running into this as well.  My wedding is 10-12-14, and I'm trying to figure out on the best time to send out my invites.  I just sent out our Save the dates, so I"m going to wait a bit but 90% of my wedding guests are coming from out of state, so it's logical that they'll have made travel arrangements soonish.  I'm planning on sending out my invites around the beginning of August with the RSVP date of September 1st. The hotel rooms need to be booked by the 2nd week in october so hopefully it's not too early.  
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  • kellbell07-

      Thanks for the tip! I already got the dress and the venue is booked. We have decided on a few things, but haven't purchased them (things like cake toppers, etc). Unfortunately I am doing all of this while being a full-time student. I am graduating in May and hopefully will be continuing on to my Masters afterwards, so although I would love to sink all my time in on this I really can't. I need to do things in smaller spurts.

    I hope everything goes well! This is all super exciting! :)
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    We're also getting married 10-04-14, but out of state. Because there will be quite a few friends and family flying into WA, we sent our save the dates out early and I'm planning on sending the invitations out 07/09/14 with an RSVP date of 08/20/14. You could always send your invitations out in phases- we're doing the A group then depending on how many no's you get, send out the B group.
    No no no. This is terrible advice. B-Listing is incredibly rude! How would you feel if you found out you were only invited to an event because other, more important people sad no?
    des9724casey8784
  • We are getting married 10-10-14 and we sent our save the dates out last month. People are already starting to plan out their vacations for the year and you would hate it if someone you really wanted at your wedding couldn't come because they were already busy.

    Most of our quests are coming in from out of town and they will appreciate getting an early invite to make traveling arrangements. 
  • We're October 4th as well. We have a lot of people coming from far away, so we sent out save the dates very early (back in January). Everyone we are going to invite knows nice and early, so they have plenty of time to make arrangements. We will be mailing out the invites in early August, with an RSVP deadline of 9-12.

    And I agree. B-listing is a terrible idea! Please don't do it!
    ashley8918
  • If you sent out save-the-dates, everyone who will need to make travel arrangements will have already made them by the time you send the invites out.  I'm getting married on the same day, and I'm sending the invites beginning of August with an RSVP date for August 26th.  Our wedding planner suggested no earlier because people will forget to send it back or lose the invite.  A friend of mine sent hers really early, and I honestly lost it.  I just know my family, and the less time they have with the invite, the better haha
    image


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    ~Melissa
  • Send them the last week in July. Sending your invitations up to 10 weeks ahead of time is fine (some even say 12, but I think that's pushing it a wee bit!). For you, 10 weeks would be July 26th. The September 5th RSVP date sounds reasonable.
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  • I agree with @Belle2188
    We are sending ours the last week of July and we have an RSVP date of Sept 13th.  Also, our hotel with a room block requires that rooms be reserved no later than one month in advance in order to get the room block rate, so that will give people one month to make those reservations. 
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  • I am October 3rd and we are sending out invites out August 9th with an RSVP deadline of September 5th mainly because our hotel room block cut off date is September 4th. We don't have many out-of-towners however and our final numbers aren't due to the venue until September 19th so that gives me two weeks to chase down anyone if need be. 
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  • des9724 said:
    If you sent out save-the-dates, everyone who will need to make travel arrangements will have already made them by the time you send the invites out.  I'm getting married on the same day, and I'm sending the invites beginning of August with an RSVP date for August 26th.  Our wedding planner suggested no earlier because people will forget to send it back or lose the invite.  A friend of mine sent hers really early, and I honestly lost it.  I just know my family, and the less time they have with the invite, the better haha
    Not necessarily. Many people wait until they receive the actual invite to make travel arrangements, since they won't know until 4-6 weeks before the wedding if they can actually attend. That's also why it's recommended to have the due date to be no more than 4 weeks before the wedding date; the large majority of couples will still have plenty of time to track down stragglers and to get the final head count to the caterer/venue. An earlier due date might mean that some people won't RSVP since they simply don't know yet, and then you (generic "you") will have more calls to make once the due date has passed.
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  • I guess I will be behind. I am 10/10 and I am not sending out my invites till aug. 31st. I think I am having my RSVP deadline as sept 20th. to me that still seems like a lot of time.
  • kebebbkebebb member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    We're getting married October 4. Not sending invites until August 18-23 (sometime that week, whenever I have time to go to the PO) and asking for RSVP by September 20.
  • I am an October 4th bride as well and I am having issues with this.
    Mostly because we have like a BackUp List of people to invite.  We are anticipating a good handful of declines, for multiple reasons, but you never know if TADA they accept and don't want to over invite.

    We are going to send ours out no later than July 25th.  I have ordered 2 sets of RSVP cards, some with an August 22nd RSVP date for the first group we send.  And then a few RSVP cards with a date of September 5th incase we invite anyone off our back-up list.

    I don't know if people ever do this..........but it's the only way I have figured out to make this happen haha


  • labrolabro Hotlanta member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I am an October 4th bride as well and I am having issues with this.
    Mostly because we have like a BackUp List of people to invite.  We are anticipating a good handful of declines, for multiple reasons, but you never know if TADA they accept and don't want to over invite.

    We are going to send ours out no later than July 25th.  I have ordered 2 sets of RSVP cards, some with an August 22nd RSVP date for the first group we send.  And then a few RSVP cards with a date of September 5th incase we invite anyone off our back-up list.

    I don't know if people ever do this..........but it's the only way I have figured out to make this happen haha


    FYI what you are doing is called B Listing. Its incredibly rude to do this to your guests. You are going to have a very difficult time getting rsvps so early...I'm not even mailing my invitations until your rsvp date and my wedding is only two weeks after yours. Believe me, I know its hard...there are multiple people I'd love to invite but can't afford to if 100% of my guest list can't attend...so guess what? I'm just not inviting them even if I get tons of declines. Its just not right. When you b list its like you are saying "sorry you just didn't make the cut the first time around but you're good enough to be my second choice". This is very hurtful.



    LDay2014Emily104itsmestacey123
  • I know this is kinda late but thought I'd share my thoughts as well..... We are also 10-4 and wanted to make sure people who are out of town had time to prepare. We sent save-the-dates a few months ago. They weren't too expensive. I thought that was a great way to let people know they would be invited early enough to get good flights, etc. We have a couple people coming from England so really wanted to make sure they knew ahead of time.
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