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Wedding in two different countries?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
So here is my dilemma - I would love to do a Vegas destination wedding this fall, with either just my mom and my FI's mom. However my friends are excited to see me wed, so I am thinking of still doing a small Vegas wedding sometime in the winter/spring so they can attend also (the fall may be too short notice for them). My FI is Australian and unlike me, has a large family who would like to see him get married. I really can't expect my friends and mom to travel to Australia, or his family to come to the States. So I am thinking of having a small wedding here and then another one in Australia (just the thought of planning two is stressing me out! LOL). 

I understand that once you're married, you really can't get married again and the second ceremony would be more like a vow renewal type of thing I suppose. Would this be an acceptable thing to do? And if so, how far apart should they be planned, or does that matter?
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Re: Wedding in two different countries?

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    kaos16kaos16 member
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    Can you get married in Vegas and then have a party in Australia to celebrate your recent marriage?
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    edited July 2014
    teenabeenerz said:
    So here is my dilemma - I would love to do a Vegas destination wedding this fall, with either just my mom and my FI's mom. However my friends are excited to see me wed, so I am thinking of still doing a small Vegas wedding sometime in the winter/spring so they can attend also (the fall may be too short notice for them). My FI is Australian and unlike me, has a large family who would like to see him get married. I really can't expect my friends and mom to travel to Australia, or his family to come to the States. So I am thinking of having a small wedding here and then another one in Australia (just the thought of planning two is stressing me out! LOL). 

    I understand that once you're married, you really can't get married again and the second ceremony would be more like a vow renewal type of thing I suppose. Would this be an acceptable thing to do? And if so, how far apart should they be planned, or does that matter?
    I think you should take a step back and decide what you think is important. Is it important to have all family/friends there, or to do this in Vegas as more of an elopement. You only get one wedding (unless you get divorced and re-married) so it's important to really spend some time thinking about priorities. 

    What you could do is have the wedding in one place (US or Australia) and then have a hometown reception in the other place - just a party celebrating your recent marriage. No ceremony since you'd already be married. Vow renewals are really more for milestone anniversaries or major life events, so it's not really appropriate for something like this.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Thanks for your insight! I've also thought about Hawaii since it's more central for everyone, albeit a very expensive location from what I understand. I will have to research that route a bit more as well.
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
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    I wouldn't have a vow renewal just so someone can see the ceremony.  Decide where you want to get married, and invite everyone. If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't.   you can have a party in Australia, but don't have a re-do.  If someone actually wants to see you get married, watching a do-over isn't going to solve that problem, since it's basically theatrics.

    Maybe have a welcome to AU party, barbecue, whatever, and show your wedding video.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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    chasseusechasseuse member
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    I would suggest that family wins over friends and so I'd lean towards a wedding in Australia and bring Mom along. Yes, it's a long flight, but it should be worth it for Mom to meet your new family! (I know it's hard/expensive--this is best-case-scenario.)

    Then, I'd have a fun weekend in Vegas just to celebrate with your friends afterwards.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    You can only get married once.  A re-do ceremony isn't the same as seeing you become legally married.  You get one day.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    Vegas weddings are not cheap. Use the money you'd save by not having a ceremony there and use it to fly over a few VIPs to Australia!

     







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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited July 2014
    If you have your heart set on a Vegas wedding maybe spring to have a video person there to record it. Then celebrate with your US family & friends in Vegas. Then go to his home for your honeymoon & just have a reception where you can start it out with showing the ceremony video & then you and him make a big entrance when it's done. Let his family do the planning. Just let them know of any food allergies & dislikes you have. If you let them take control that will remove the stress for you and it will be easier for you since they are familiar with places & customs.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    system won't let me edit to add, but if you do what I suggested, I don't see why you can't wear your dress again for the reception to show it off & to be able to get photos with his family.
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    NdelibleNdelible member
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    Kind of had a similar situation with FH.  I am from California and he is from South Dakota.  When he asked me to marry him, he wanted to do two weddings, since we both have large groups of friends and family.  I wasn't into it, not because I have a problem with two weddings as some Posters do, but because I didn't want to plan two weddings.  So I brought up Vegas as an option.  I feel that for the continental US, it's easier to get to and there are many price points for folks to choose among for accommodations.  He said no off the bat, because he had the old idea of Vegas in his head - Elvis chapel or something.  I immediately when into search mode and found several beautiful spaces in Vegas and he changed his mind.

    So, now, we're doing Vegas and anyone who can come, will come.  Hawaii is expensive, but it is midpoint and spreads the pain (almost) evenly.  

    Good luck!
    Happiness is an inside job
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    missdelilahmissdelilah member
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    I don't have a problem with the two wedding idea at all, as long as you're honest with your guests about what's going on - i.e. don't pretend to your Australian mates that you didn't get married in Vegas.  If anyone finds it super tacky or doesn't like the idea, they don't have to turn up.  

    My FI and I are having the same problem, well, minus the Vegas part.  We live in the US, he's American, I'm Australian.  Unfortunately we both have relatives that aren't in a position to make a long flight, so there's no possibility of getting everyone together in one place, even if they could afford it.  So, we talked about whether we should have a wedding in Sydney, where I'm from, one in Michigan, where he's from, or one in Massachusetts, where we live.  We ended up opting for Sydney, but probably partly because FI hasn't been there yet, and this is as good an excuse as any.

    I really hope you work out what you want.  If you want two weddings, have two weddings, but be honest with everyone that that's what you're doing.  There will be a lot of people who disagree with me on this, but I really don't see a problem with it at all.
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