And BF was fantastically wonderful about it. Like - better than I ever expected.
So - we have had our timeline for our relationship pretty well figured out. I am in a first time home buying program - the bank matches x% saved over so long - ect., and my program matures in September - (it would be in my name - the program has income caps and the 2 of us together would be over that cap).
Our plan was to buy a house, then get engaged and plan a wedding.
So - I was talking to the woman who set up my account over a year ago to see what steps I need to take in September, and going over logistics ect. And I'm giving her my employment history/current situation and she essentially tells me that more than likely I will not be authorized for any substantial mortgage. I work 3 part time jobs, 2 of those for less than a year (had just switched careers), so she would essentially only be able to take the longer standing job into consideration - but I only make 10% of my income from that job. So I wouldn't get approved for anything. Now - I 100% understand where a bank is coming from looking at this information and wanting to give me a loan, and its my fault for not thinking of/realizing this may be a possibility. But this information really hit me hard. I was really upset and disappointed. I had been thinking for over a year that this september I would be getting a pre-approval, and we would be looking for a home, and now what I'm hearing is "No, you can't do that" (I've rationalized this since then but . . . ya know, upset.).
So I go home and talk to BF and tell him how upset and disappointed I am. And he's just like - "Well thats OK. We'll just wait. Or we could go for the pre-approval together." Which then I have to remind him that I am really just not comfortable going on a mortgage with someone unless there is a bigger commitment (which he knows thats how I feel and respects it). At this point I'm really just venting, being upset, crying, ect. And I tell him that I just feel like I know everything I want is going to happen, but its this big waiting game now and thats so frustrating.
This is where he gets super-uber adorable. He tells me to close my eyes and keep my hands on my knees. Of course I'm "OK, WTF is happening right now." I feel him start drawing on my hand and tells me to open my eyes. He had drawn a "ring" on my finger, and says to me "I know this isn't the way we planned on it, but by the end of the year I'll put a real ring on that finger. I constantly have to stop myself from referring to you as my wife because you're more to me than a girlfriend. I love you, and we'll just doing things a little differently than we originally planned."
Of course I was crying at this point, and just totally overwhelmed by how awesome he was.
At this point - we don't consider ourselves engaged. But we've completely changed our timeline, and even though I'm still getting used to it (been planning on the previous time line for MONTHS people . . . ) I'm totally OK with this. It means that I get to be married to the love of my life even sooner than I thought - and how can I be upset about that? Plus- he was fucking adorable.
ETA - fixing words