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tipping the priest

melbelleupmelbelleup member
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in Catholic Weddings
How much are you going/did you tip the priest who performed your wedding? At my church, you have to pay a stipend of $500 which is for the organist, priest and wedding planner... should I also tip the organist and planner?? I was planning on just tipping the priest $100.. while talking to my brother last night he mentioned he tipped his priest $300 when they got married.... I don't exactly have an extra $200 in my budget anywhere, but if needed I guess I could squeeze it.

Background on my priest: I am currently living in NC but getting married in my childhood church in PA where my parents also got married and my grandfather was fairly active (everyone knows him). That being said, I met with this priest once and he just recently came to my parish last year (I've been in NC going on 3 yrs in August, so it's not like I could of met him more). He also did not originally want to perform my marriage and tried to pass me off to another church's priest (still at my church though) but that priest took off the weekend of my wedding. My priest then said he wasn't sure who would be marrying us, but he'd find someone in the diocese. A week ago I found out that he now will be marrying us. There is Saturday mass at my church at 4pm so he will not be attending the reception (nor did I really ask him to, but the secretary said some brides invite him, some don't and since I didn't know who my priest was going to be, I never sent a formal invitation)

That's probably more information than needed...
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Re: tipping the priest

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
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    Priests are not "tipped". They most certainly should be given an offering. Depending on the parish and diocese, sometimes this is their only discretionary income, sometimes it's their actual food budget. Priests have canonical restrictions on how many masses he can say, so he may have been close to his limit and really busy when he was trying to find someone else for you.

    $100 is a good start
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  • scrunchythiefscrunchythief member
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    $100 sounds in the ball park.  We're doing $150, since that's what was recommended by the parish.  Maybe you could ask the parish office?  Our church doesn't have a wedding planner, so I don't have any advice about that.  Our organist/cantor wasn't included in the fee for the use of the church.  They're $150 each, and I don't think we were planning on tipping more than that.
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  • rhiannon383rhiannon383 member
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    We did $100. That's what was recommended in our planning packet and we just went with it. It was $200 for the priest, and another $200 for the organist. We didn't give the organist any extra.
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  • rhiannon383rhiannon383 member
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    (So we gave the priest $200, plus an extra $100)
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
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    edited June 2014
    I  have a question about this as well. The information we were given says we have to give a $400 offering.

    Below that it says:

    This offering includes a $5.00 stipend for the priest officiating at a nuptial Mass.  No part of the offering goes directly to the priest who celebrates your wedding.

    We're not doing a full mass (not sure if that's relevant). Should we give more than $400?

    And that's separate from the music fee and the fee for their rehearsal coordinator.
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
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    ESPECIALLY if your church fee/offering does not include any payment for the priest, you should write him a separate check.  Our priest's fee was $100, if that helps.
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
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    professorscience said:
    ESPECIALLY if your church fee/offering does not include any payment for the priest, you should write him a separate check.  Our priest's fee was $100, if that helps.
    So I should just write a check specifically to him? Or I guess I could give him cash? I can do $100.

    When do I give it to him? I don't think he'll be at the rehearsal which is when I'll square away with everything else.
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  • IrishPirate60IrishPirate60 member
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    edited June 2014
    Ashley, you can always send him a nice thank you card and enclose a check in that. Especially if you mention something specific about his work with you that makes it personal (and doesn't look like one of a dozen other cards).
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
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    IrishPirate60 said:
    Ashley, you can always send him a nice thank you card and enclose a check in that. Especially if you mention something specific about his work with you that makes it personal (and doesn't look like one of a dozen other cards).
    This.  Our priest was at the rehearsal, so we paid him directly.  We also sent a thank-you card with a gift card to his favorite restaurant after the wedding.
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
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    We had to pay the church $500.  We were told that we were not allowed to offer anything directly to the priest.

     

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  • GB520GB520 member
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    I was wondering the same thing about this, like are they allowed to take a check written out to them personally? I figured a cash gift would be best and I was thinking of giving our priest $150 for a donation, we're paying I think $640, which is significantly lower that I had expected to pay.
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  • scrunchythiefscrunchythief member
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    @GB520 I think in general priests can take a check made out to them.  You can double check with them or the parish office should know too.  
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  • melbelleupmelbelleup member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    GB520 said:
    I was wondering the same thing about this, like are they allowed to take a check written out to them personally? I figured a cash gift would be best and I was thinking of giving our priest $150 for a donation, we're paying I think $640, which is significantly lower that I had expected to pay.
    I'd stick to cash, to be honest.
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  • IrishPirate60IrishPirate60 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Every diocese has its own particular rules. Check your local office if you have questions.
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