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Too many friends! Not enough bridesmaid spots.

Knottie03545159Knottie03545159 member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I am very blessed to have close family and friends for my wedding party. I currently have my sister (moh), his sister, 3 cousins, and a cousin junior bridesmaid. So currently have 5 bridesmaid and one junior who doesn't need a partner. My fiance has 6 but said he could go up to 7 guys. Otherwise he already thinks it's big.

The problem, I have 3 friends and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I already feel like have 6-7 bridesmaid and a junior is a lot for organization and gifts (I'm getting their dresses as my family is in the clothing business).

Too make it worse I have an idea of which are my top two but the third friend is sisters with one of the others.

Should I only pick the one who isn't a sister? Should I pick all 3 and deal with the extra organizational difficulties? Or pick my two? How do I approach not picking someone?
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Re: Too many friends! Not enough bridesmaid spots.

  • Strawberry211chicagoStrawberry211chicago member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    I think you may be over thinking this.

    1) Consider the amount of money in your budget for gifts, etc
    2) pick who you want. Presuming your friends are adults, there shouldn't be any drama about who is or who isn't in your wedding party
    3) No one "needs" a partner, sides can be uneven

    Side note- I never have understood what a junior bridesmaid is. Can anyone fill me in? I was under the impression it wasn't a real thing.

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  • afterimageafterimage member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Your wedding party does not need to be even, and if you're already organizing gifts for 10-14 people, what's one more?
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  • Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Sides don't have to be even.
    image
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  • Knottie03545159Knottie03545159 member
    First Comment
    It's not about sides being even, it already isn't. It's about keeping things a bit simpler for organizing. Junior bridesmaid is just too old to be flower girl and not old enough to be with a partner and usually a more age appropriate dress. She's only 11
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie03545159 said:
    It's not about sides being even, it already isn't. It's about keeping things a bit simpler for organizing. Junior bridesmaid is just too old to be flower girl and not old enough to be with a partner and usually a more age appropriate dress. She's only 11
    What kinds of things are you thinking will need to be organized?

    And bridesmaids don't have partners - they are sometimes escorted by groomsmen, but that's it. 
    image
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You don't need to have even sides.

    Don't pick your BMs based on "not hurting feelings".... pick your BMs based on who you want standing next to you when you say your vows. 

    And keep in mind your budget because you'll be buying each of them a gift and potentially shoes/accessories/hair/make-up/nails if you are requiring any of that... 
    *********************************************************************************

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  • Knottie03545159Knottie03545159 member
    First Comment
    Pleasing people with the dress, communication for shower, bachelorette, I've been in small and big wedding parties and know the more people the more disagreements. Plus I was thinking 6 just for ease and not being overwhelmed at the alter. It's already beyond that.
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  • IrishPirate60IrishPirate60 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Do you have anyone left who will be in the congregation? Or is everyone up on the altar? I lean toward the "less is more" principle.
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie03545159 said:
    Pleasing people with the dress, communication for shower, bachelorette, I've been in small and big wedding parties and know the more people the more disagreements. Plus I was thinking 6 just for ease and not being overwhelmed at the alter. It's already beyond that.
    Ok, well the dress, if you're worrying about pleasing people with a large bridal party (I had 6 ladies ranging in age from 22 to 34), the easiest thing is to just pick a designer, fabric, color, and length and let them have at it (assuming you've picked a designer that has a cost range within budget).

    Or just pick a dress you like that's appropriate, in everyone's budget, and let everyone deal with it. 

    Shower and bachelorette are not your responsibilities to be involved in. If people host these parties for you, the hostess(es) will step up and handle the organization for you. Seriously, if I knew people would argue about that kind of stuff, I wouldn't ask them to be a bridesmaids
    image
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  • beetherybeethery member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Emmy211 said:

    I think you may be over thinking this.

    1) Consider the amount of money in your budget for gifts, etc
    2) pick who you want. Presuming your friends are adults, there shouldn't be any drama about who is or who isn't in your wedding party
    3) No one "needs" a partner, sides can be uneven

    Side note- I never have understood what a junior bridesmaid is. Can anyone fill me in? I was under the impression it wasn't a real thing.

    I, and my other female cousins were junior bridesmaids at my aunt's wedding when I was 10. We wore floral print dresses and carried mini-bouquets. The bridesmaids wore more subdued dresses and carried bigger bouquets. My male cousin and my uncle's other nephew were junior groomsmen. It was just my aunt and uncle's way of including us in the wedding

    My aunt and uncle also paid for all of the dresses and suits that were worn by the juniors in the wedding, so that simplified a lot of things for my parents and my cousins' parents.
    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

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  • Strawberry211chicagoStrawberry211chicago member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Ahhh, Ok that makes more sense than it did in my head.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I will just ditto everything that PDKH has said.

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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie03545159 said:

    I am very blessed to have close family and friends for my wedding party. I currently have my sister (moh), his sister, 3 cousins, and a cousin junior bridesmaid. So currently have 5 bridesmaid and one junior who doesn't need a partner. My fiance has 6 but said he could go up to 7 guys. Otherwise he already thinks it's big.

    The problem, I have 3 friends and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I already feel like have 6-7 bridesmaid and a junior is a lot for organization and gifts (I'm getting their dresses as my family is in the clothing business).

    Too make it worse I have an idea of which are my top two but the third friend is sisters with one of the others.

    Should I only pick the one who isn't a sister? Should I pick all 3 and deal with the extra organizational difficulties? Or pick my two? How do I approach not picking someone?

    Did you already ask your 3 cousins? Cause dropping them and asking your friends instead would be your easiest option.

    You shouldn't worry about people being upset they weren't asked to be a bridesmaid. You can have as many bridesmaids as you want, sides do not have to look even. But more bridesmaids mean more money spent on presents, rehearsal dinner (plus significant others)

    If you decide to not pick any of your friends and they ask, just say you would have loved to ask everyone but couldn't accommodate them.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Knottie03545159 said:
    It's not about sides being even, it already isn't. It's about keeping things a bit simpler for organizing. Junior bridesmaid is just too old to be flower girl and not old enough to be with a partner and usually a more age appropriate dress. She's only 11
    Just call her a Bridesmaid and drop the Junior.  At 11 years old, I would have hated to be referred to as a Junior unless I was shopping for clothes!

    Your BM's don't need to have an escort.  You can have the Groom and GM's file in to the altar from the side or walk down the aisle 1st, then have your BM's walk down, then you you.
    Knottie03545159 said:
    Pleasing people with the dress, communication for shower, bachelorette, I've been in small and big wedding parties and know the more people the more disagreements. Plus I was thinking 6 just for ease and not being overwhelmed at the alter. It's already beyond that.
    I have 10 BMs and I gave them a set of 5 coordinating color swatches and told them to choose a knee length dress in one of the 5 colors.  That allows each person to choose a dress she feels most comfortable in.

    Shower and bachlorette planning communication will be between the people who choose to volunteer to host those events.  If someone needs everyone's contact info, they can ask you for that info.

    AS far as standing up at the altar, I'd recommend that it just be you and your FI, and allow the rest of your WP to sit in the 1st row of pews.  No matter how short your ceremony is, NO ONE likes to have to stand in heels for that entire time.  If there isn't a place at the altar for your MOH and the Best Man to sit, then they can just get up as neccessary to fix your train, hold your bouquet, hand off the rings, etc.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Frankly, in your position I'd just stick to the family (sister and cousins) and call it a day. You shouldn't be questioned if it's just family on your side.
    ________________________________


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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I echo the whole dropping junior bridesmaid thing.  
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