Gift signed from people no one knows?

Sugargirl1019 · July 2014

H has some interesting guests on his side haha. We received a set of towels signed from a guest to our wedding, but also signed from 5 OTHER COUPLES that we don't know, were not invited to the wedding..

H thinks the 5 couples are from church when he was a child. MIL does not recognize some of the names.

What would you do? Write a thank you note addressed to all of them and say please extend our thanks to everyone but mail it to the only people we have an address for (and hope they pass it around), or do I write 6 thank yous and mail them all to the person we have an address for?

Why must guests do this?? (And a set of towels from 12 people is not the only "multiple guest" gift we got.. That's another story though!)

mysticl · July 2014

I have to ask, are they real people? I have a cousin who would totally make up names to add to the card. You see what he did to the RSVP card, he included goats.

Sugargirl1019 · July 2014

They sound like real people.. It was a gift from bed bath and beyond so all the names are typed but there are 6 couples names, husband and wife last name.

Can I be totally rude and ungrateful for a moment? More like exasperated. These people generously gave us a set of towels even though they don't know us. But. 12 people gave us a set of towels. Let's not break that down into cost per couple. We also received a rolling pin and a butter dish from three couples. Six actual wedding guests who showed up to our wedding.. Gave us a gift that according to the store cost 15 dollars total. Blah. Okay hit me now.

(Let's not compare the amount of money that H's side and my side gave.. The # of guests actually leaned in his favor. His gave $x, my side gave $8x. That's the difference between guests from Texas and guests from New York!!)

ScoutF · July 2014

You actually broke down whose side spent more on you?

Sugargirl1019 · July 2014

ScoutF said:
You actually broke down whose side spent more on you?

My mom did, but yup.

ETA: I know its been a discussion about the difference in gift giving in regions of the USA, so this was just enlightening to what's normal for regions of people. Also, only cash gifts were added up. Not the price of physical gifts. I know we sound like terrible people, but they were small but real feelings and thoughts and curiosities.

thisismynickname2 · July 2014

As to the main question, I'd send the thank-you note to the couple that were guests at the wedding and ask them to spread the thanks to Couple 1, Couple 2, etc- whomever were not guests.

I'm sure there are similar etiquette questions relating to coworker showers where numerous people contribute to one large gift. However that works, that's how I'd approach it.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

I had a similar shower gift - 4 relatives (a mother and her 3 adult daughters) collectively gave 1 set of towels. They didn't even sign the card themselves, the mother signed for everyone. So she's getting 1 thank you card made out to all of them. I know it's probably not "right" but for all I know the rest of them didn't even know they went in on the gift. My mom has done that before with gifts for cousins - I would have been super confused if I got a thank you from them. And yeah, FI said "if all 4 of those couples and their kids show up to the wedding splitting another $20 gift, I'm gonna be pretty pissy." I don't blame him.

I think we're entitled to have thoughts that we know aren't nice sometimes as long as we don't act on them. We're only human, and everyone has done it before. Anyone who says otherwise is a giant hypocrite.

jenajjthr · July 2014

I know we not supposed to expect gifts. But really, 12 people went in on a set of towels and no venting is allowed? I wouldn't expect a $600 dollar lopsided cake plate, but maybe 2 sets of towels would be nice. Ditto other PP's, send one note to the invited couple, then ask to send on your thanks to the other couples.

mysticl · July 2014

jenajjthr said:

I know we not supposed to expect gifts. But really, 12 people went in on a set of towels and no venting is allowed? I wouldn't expect a $600 dollar lopsided cake plate, but maybe 2 sets of towels would be nice. Ditto other PP's, send one note to the invited couple, then ask to send on your thanks to the other couples.

Nobody said no venting was allowed. Someone just expressed some curiosity over the fact that someone took the time to do a price comparison between the two sides of the wedding. Like lolo said I wonder if this is maybe a case of someone putting other people's names on a gift but the others may not have actually contributed any money.

bookworm1115 · July 2014

Was it shipped to you? I had a gift arrive from Bed, Bath, and Beyond that was the wrong message completely. It also had the items listed differently from what I actually received. I was able to call customer service and get the correct message and find out who sent it to me. Perhaps it is the wrong message for you too. I really hope so, because a set of towels from that many people is ridiculous.

Sugargirl1019 · July 2014

bookworm1115 said:
Was it shipped to you? I had a gift arrive from Bed, Bath, and Beyond that was the wrong message completely. It also had the items listed differently from what I actually received. I was able to call customer service and get the correct message and find out who sent it to me. Perhaps it is the wrong message for you too. I really hope so, because a set of towels from that many people is ridiculous.

Yes, it was shipped to us. That's really strange - it did correctly list the items included in the gift, but the couple who was invited to our wedding's name was at the top of the "From" list.. And the names are just so.. Normal that they can't be an accident.. Idk. Because we'd received multiple giver gifts already, we just chuckled at it and moved along.

Gift signed from people no one knows?

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