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First Look or No?

jm465jm465 member
First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Photography and Videography Forum
We are trying to figure out whether to do a first look or not... We had originally hoped to Not do a first look, however, there are a lot of problems time-wise that we are running into. Personally, I wouldn't mind doing the first look as time-wise it seems to make the most sense and I would probably feel much more relaxed being able to see him before the ceremony. FI on the otherhand seems completely against the idea still.   Our photographer (who is Amazing!) has said if we are not wanting to do a first look we should plan on 1.5-2 hours after the ceremony for family photos, bridal party photos and our private photos. The problem is we don't really feel that a two hour cocktail hour is nice for our guests! (Are we wrong here??)     We were hoping to only have a 1 (1.5hr max) hour cocktail hour, as this is what is included in our package. 

Both my FI and myself have parents who are split and both sets are remarried and our wedding party is siblings only (my two sisters and brother and his brother and sister), so this also does not allow us to do the majority of family photos before the ceremony. The ceremony and reception are all at the same venue so there isn't any travel time for guests (or us) inbetween the two. We will have a lot of food and drinks during cocktail hour and there will be plenty of indoor and outdoor seating for guests, but I do still feel that 2hours is too long for people to wait.

Thoughts or suggestions?? Has anyone else been in this situation and what did you do? If we somehow manage to fit everything in 1.5 hours is that still too long of a cocktail hour?
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Re: First Look or No?

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    jaime232jaime232 member
    First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Why is your fiance against it?  Just curious.  I was always all about being traditional and wanted that "moment" at the end of aisle when we see each other, but my photographer explained that the first look moment is still very powerful, and most couples still experience emotions while walking down the aisle too.  Ultimately, it does come down to timing though, and when my photographer explained it, it just made more sense to do the first look.  I decided to trust her judgment since she's been through this quite a few times.  :) 
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    jm465jm465 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    He says that he wants the first time he sees me to be walking down the aisle. :). Which I feel like I shouldn't make him do the first look,as he's not been picky about any of the plans and hasn't asked for anything else!! This is just the one thing he wants. Our photographer says she can do either scenario, it's more so just a matter of timing. She'd like a 2 hour window for photos after the ceremony.

    Do you think a 1.5 to two hour cocktail time is too lengthy? We will be providing served appetizers and there will be an open bar, as well as live music. Our ceremony is a max of 30mins.
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    Alikat9614Alikat9614 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    My FI feels the same way, so we aren't doing a First Look. I will take pics alone, with my BM's, and my mom (and whatever other family members may be there-- dad and stepmom?) before the ceremony. FI will take pics with his GM and granny before hand as well. This will help with time afterwards-- we plan to be done at least 45-60 minutes before the ceremony starts. We aren't traveling anywhere else but the church and outside surrounding the church for photos, so that will save time, too. It is about. 5 minute drive the reception, so we hope to spend about 20-30 minutes on family photos and the same amount for pics of just us. We will have a very detailed list and our DOC will be sure no one wanders off and that they go as quickly as possible. Try your hardest to keep cocktail hour to an hour! I'd be pretty crabby if the bride and groom didn't show up for 2 hours...
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    jm465jm465 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    Thanks :).  I've started making a list of before photos we can do, so the photographer will just have to work with that unless my FI changes his mind..
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    photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you aren't going to do a  first look, which I recommend - then you should take any and all photos you can before the wedding. If you want photos of your family without the groom take them. You want one with each bridesmaid, again take it before. A two hour cocktail party will not be well received by your guests, especially if all the hosts (B&G, parents) are all absent. Sorry, but you are correct, people will be upset with a 2 hour cocktail hour...I've been to one and everyone complains behind the hosts' backs. Although it still beats a 2 hour gap...super rude - so glad you aren't planning one of those :)

    If you decide that not seeing each other is the most important thing then you may have to sacrifice getting some of the photos you had hoped for - your guests should be a priority over photos. Take your photos in order of importance and when you run out of time know that you got the most important shots.

    There are several recent threads on the pros and cons of doing a first look.
    Here is some points I posted in one of them...
    -I prefer seeing the reaction of the B&G in one photo. The groom will still be moved by the moment of you walking down the aisle, a first look won't change how he feels about you. 
    -He's not looking at the dress, he's excited to see you coming down the aisle to marry him - having seen you an hour before isn't going to change that emotion.
    -It will save a LOT of time. You can go to cocktail hour and enjoy the yummy appetizers! You can spend more time talking to your guests, freeing yourself up to party on the dance floor more after dinner.
    -You can have a comprehensive photo shoot with FI at multiple locations if you want.
    -If calms your nerves and gives you some special time alone on an otherwise busy day.
    -You can have the bridal party and family photos done just before the ceremony. Everyone can be there a little early and then your parents are free to greet the guests at cocktail hour and be good hosts.

    GL! :)

    ETA - DH & I went and took photos together for about 2.5 hours, just relaxing and having fun.
    Then we reserved an hour for family photos. We did not have a wedding party, but have large family, so it was about the same as having a wedding party.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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    jm465jm465 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    thanks photokitty! You made some great points!! I would love to be able to go to cocktail hour and take the time to talk with all our guests.... My FI is starting to realize after we started writing down the family photos we would want that maybe it's just less stressful to do them beforehand. So hopefully he changes his mind on the first look (it's looking that way - but guys take forever to change their minds!). The photos are really important to us and I don't want to rush our photographer because she does an amazing job and the end product is worth it.

    Thanks again everyone for the input!
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