Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Daughter Vows

We are starting to plan the ceremony for our October wedding and have decided that we want FI to say vows to my daughter. She will be 16 months at the wedding so she really won't be able to say anything back. Does anyone have any ideas of what he should say or any resources to find examples? FWIW- FI and I will be taking traditional protestant vows.

Re: Daughter Vows

  • A wedding is a ceremony that unites two people in marriage, not three.  Do not do this.   the vows to your infant daughter are not appropriate at this time and place.  Just take lots of pictures.
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  • We are starting to plan the ceremony for our October wedding and have decided that we want FI to say vows to my daughter. She will be 16 months at the wedding so she really won't be able to say anything back. Does anyone have any ideas of what he should say or any resources to find examples? FWIW- FI and I will be taking traditional protestant vows.
    I think it's weird and highly inappropriate. I would not do this. Vows are meant to be said to and for the people getting married - it's not appropriate to include others.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    We are starting to plan the ceremony for our October wedding and have decided that we want FI to say vows to my daughter. She will be 16 months at the wedding so she really won't be able to say anything back. Does anyone have any ideas of what he should say or any resources to find examples? FWIW- FI and I will be taking traditional protestant vows.
    I think it's weird and highly inappropriate. I would not do this. Vows are meant to be said to and for the people getting married - it's not appropriate to include others.
    This. 

    Marzipan13slothiegalchibiyui
  • Honest opinion here.  This makes it look like you are trying to prove to everyone what an amazing man you FI is for taking on your daughter.  I say this because at 16 months your daughter won't have clue as to what is going on.  So it will have absolutely no meaning to her at all and the odds of her even remembering it are highly unlikely.  
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
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    I find vows to kids to be creepy.    I get the sentiment behind the act, I just think they belong to the 2 people who are getting married.






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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
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    Ditto pp- I find it highly inappropriate. There is a reason why children aren't allowed to sign contracts. They aren't emotionally or intellectually mature enough to grasp the concepts.  When it comes to step-parenting, I'm a big believer in actions speak louder than words. If he wants to make a lifelong vow to her, he should open a university fund, join her school PTA, or regularly take an active role in her life. Why does everything need to be made public? 

    Also, god forbid, you two get divorced. All it says to your daughter is "those vows I made are breakable and when I promised to love you forever, like I did your Mum, I can break it". 

    I believe vows like these should only be made when they change a legal and social dynamic, such as going from bf/gf to husband/wife or when a child is legally adopted. He will still be her step father regardless of if he says these vows or not. Therefore, they are redundant and inappropriate, especially to a toddler.

    chibiyuiOliveOilsMom
  • Gross and inappropriate.
    chibiyui
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD
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    Extremely inappropriate. Please don't do this. First off, weddings are between two adults. Secondly, vows made to a child can cause emotional stress and turmoil if the marriage is strained or ends. Thirdly, he shouldn't have to make any vows to prove or show off that he cares for her, he just needs to be a fucking dad. And finally, she's not old enough to remember anyway, if you did decide to screw with her emotions.

    Please, don't do this.
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  • By making a 16 month old child participate in vows she neither understands nor consents to is a little bit of a mockery of the vows that you & your FI are saying, don't you think?
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  • The idea is nice but with her only being 16 months, she won't understand any of it so it would be pointless.

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