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Picking a state...

So we're both from different states, our families still live in those states. We live in NC. I want to get married in my state so that ALL of my family can be there, and becausey dad is having surgery a month prior and will still be recovering. His parents refuse to go because they're much older (70s) and say the drive would be too hard on them. Now we offered to drive them up and stop overnight to make it easier since they refuse to fly. We own a house next to his parents' and will be there before and after the wedding. Financially, it's best for us to marry in my state. On te list of reasons to marry in each state, we only came up with 1 for his state-because his parents will obviously be there since it would be at our house. Any ideas on what to do? We've considered getting married without them, having 2 weddings, or having it there. I we have it there, not all my siblings can make it, and none of my extended family would be there (whom I'm very close to). He has a total of 4 guests at either location.

Re: Picking a state...

  • Have it in your state. The numbers are on your side, and his parents have refused your accommodations.
  • Have it where you want. People will come or not. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • We had a similar decision - My family is huge and lives in WI, his family is in CA and not everyone can afford to travel.  There was no one location where everyone would be able to travel there.  

    We landed on having the wedding near my family since that's where the biggest number of people live, but we are also going to have a small reception (basically a BBQ) near his family.  That way everyone gets to celebrate with us. 

    Some people just don't travel well, I wouldn't hold it against them, they might have real reasons that you don't know about.  I have relatives that simply aren't healthy enough to travel anymore, or who get severe pain from staying in a seated position in a car for extended periods of time, and another relative with severe anxiety about travelling resulting in panic attacks. 

    If you can afford it, I'd try to do some sort of small celebration in the state you don't have the wedding.  Not a full second wedding, cuz I feel like that'd be overkill, but a reception or party to celebrate with the people who couldn't travel to the wedding
  • We decided to have it in my state 1-I had more family members that responded and 2-we have a free venue and my family members are all cooking (so basically we're only paying for our attire, decorations, invitations, favors). I'm excited :-) Bummed his parents won't be there, but we live next to them so it's all good.
  • We also had to make the difficult decision. We are here in NC and so is my husband's family. My family is all from NM and CO we gave them one year's notice and out of the 75 relatives of mine in NM only 5 came. My relatives in CO whom I'm not as close with drove across country in their RVs to be with us on our wedding. My point being you can only do so much to accommodate people and those who really want to be there will find a way and make it happen. Since NC is where you are currently that will definitely be the easiest way to have the wedding you want and planning will not be as stressful. Good luck! 
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