My best friend and I are both engaged! . Her wedding is soon, but mine is still a year away. Ever since she got engaged, EVERYTHiNG she talks about is wedding related. I absolutely understand the excitement, since I am engaged, myself..but when she doesn't even text me to ask about my day, or about me, or even MY wedding, I feel frustrated and not valued. We have talked about it a little before, but her excuse is that she is just really ready to be married, and after she gets married, she will be a better friend. I truly feel like she doesn't know me anymore, not does she care to. She just constantly updates me on her wedding.
I don't think I am being selfish to want my friend to ask about me sometimes. I have a few close friends who are single/in relationships and we all chit chat back and fourth about life. With my "best friend" though, it's just about her. She says she considers me her best friend, but I definitely do not consider her mine.
Bottom line question. Can I end this friendship? I am in her wedding, and she is in mine.
Thanks. Let me know if you want more details/background of our friendship!
Re: HELP! I want to divorce my best friend.
Nothing in your post suggests that you have had an honest conversation with her. Have you tried calling her and doing what @gingerbride82 suggests? Why would you want to end such a "great" friendship over something so temporary? Has she been engaged for five years, and talking about the wedding planning for five years? I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
My best friend (of 19 years) and I go WEEKS or even MONTHS without even talking sometimes. Not because we are fighting, or are annoyed with one another, but because we live on opposite sides of the country with intense life responsibilities and completely opposite schedules. And you know what? Sometimes when we talk, one of us does dominate the conversation with their own thing and that's okay. My problems are not more important than hers. I wish we were close enough geographically to go out to lunch and just be together.
I hope what you take from this thread is that you call her to catch up and be honest about needing a break from wedding planning. Are you perhaps projecting the stress of your wedding onto her? I know that sometimes when I get really stressed about things, even hearing about them grates on me (currently it's getting into grad school, and every time someone asks me where I've applied or when I'll hear back I just want to tell them to let it go and let me have some peace). But don't drop a "best friend" or even a "good friend" over this. Wedding planning is a transient activity. So acknowledge that it's a stressful (and hopefully great) time for both of you, put YOUR side of effort into the relationship, and let it go. If, after the wedding, you feel like the friendship isn't worth it, it will probably fizzle out on its own, but truthfully, I think that's really sad, especially since she hasn't done anything truly "friendship ending."
I feel bad for your friend! You started off your post calling her your best friend and then you ended it with that you don't consider her to be your best friend. So which is it?
Side note, the title of this thread sounded like you were trying to get divorced, like, from your husband. A little misleading.
"I'm so busy with wedding planning and now all my bridesmaids are mad at me because all I talk about is the wedding. And a year ago I kicked my friend to the curb because she always talked about her wedding and now I totally, finally get it and feel so bad that I wasn't more understanding. How do I get my friend back?"
This isn't about being rude, necessarily, or selfish. It is an inherit personality trait. The key is to learn how to communicate with those on the opposite side of the spectrum and have compassion and understanding. So the extroverts need to learn how to and remember to maybe take a beat or two every now and then and let the introverts have a chance to think and chime in. And the introverts need to learn how to and remember to be a bit more assertive and just interrupt and join in every now and again. Neither way is more right or wrong than the other - they are just different and require that both learn how to best communicate with the other.
ETA: I'm not saying this is the case for the OP and her friend since there doesn't seem to be enough information there (which really, divorce your friend? Because she talks about her wedding a lot?), but rather just adding on some additional perspective to the two that I quoted.